45 Things I Experienced

Tomorrow I turn 45. 

Here's a list of some of the things I have experienced over that time. Not in chronological or any order at all! 

1. Joined the choir in my senior year in high school and loved it, it changed my life forever.

2. Created an imaginary band for MySpace, which had hundreds of followers. My tracks were post-modern sound collage nonsense. It lasted for about 2-3 years. 

3. I earned a score of over 300 K on Galaga after weeks of trying (arcade port, on one of those plug-and-plays).

4. I once caught a falling plate of huevos rancheros at a restaurant as a teenager. Spider-Man-like reflexes on that one.

5. Acted in a bunch of community plays in the last few years, including singing an entire song all by myself. Yeah, I'm proud of it. I have many fans, ya know. ;)

6. I accidentally mixed Benadryl with alcohol at our one and only keg party in college. My roommate left to hook up with his ex. A police officer arrived due to a noise complaint. I got a noise ticket, came back into the living room, and said, "We got a ticket" and fell on my face (I do not remember this exact moment).

7. I worked at K-Mart for two long years in high school and college. 

8. When I was 17, I stole a cardboard cut-out of Worf promoting a Star Trek movie from Jack in a Box and called the restaurant to tell them, "We have your Worf". 

9. I played basketball in the YMCA for 7 years, one time I got like twenty rebounds in one game but now that I think about it, the teams shot probably under 22% so there were a lot of rebounds to go around. 

10. Gregg Popovich grabbed some rebounds for me when I was a kid at a Spurs contest. 

11. I ran for Student Body President at Texas A&M as a protest candidate. It was so much fun.

12. I fell in love for the first time when I was 19. I was so happy to finally give and receive love. 

13. I watched two of my babies being born and met my other child for the first time as he slept so peacefully. What a trip. 

14. Sang all three of my babies to sleep, rocking them in my arms, placing them ever so gently down into their crib, and hoping they didn't wake. I treasure these moments in my heart. 

15. Played a million hours of video games and basketball with my best friend Eric, who accepted me for me and made other people love me too. 

16. Lost one of the most amazing people I have ever met when I was 21. 

17. Won a Dr. Pepper drinking contest. My friend Adam who lost the contest threw up in the parking lot on the way out. 

18. I transferred from UTSA to Texas A&M and it changed the course of my life forever. 

19. I finally learned to love to cook in my 40s during the pandemic.

20. I voted for Bob Dole in 96, then Ralph Nader in 2000, and I've been a "leftist" (for lack of a better term) ever since. 

21. I fell in love with my wife, started a new life and she's the greatest person I've ever met.

22. When I was 17, I created my own "show" with the family camcorder for all my buddies with my old toys. Made 10 episodes over two summers. We would have little episode premieres at Eric's house. Just hanging at Eric and Mikey's house in the summers was a home away from home for me.   

23. I earned my BA and MA, I learned so much and I still have so much more to learn. 

24. I created a huge fantasy world and told stories to my kids at bedtime for years, I drew huge maps and recorded stories with music and in various voices when I went out of town, including a fifteen-part story that took me weeks and weeks to record. 

25. My wife and I chaperoned a bunch of middle school kids to NYC and DC. It was great.

26. I lost two books in 7th grade. I saved all my lunch money for 6 weeks to pay for them because I was to scared to tell my parents. I ate off my friend's lunches or sneaked a sandwich from home. I had six bucks left over and went to the store after school and bought some baseball cards and grape soda.

27. I co-led a study abroad to Peru. One night after dinner at our hotel (which was an old monastery), we took our wine in the back, had a bonfire, and looked up at the Milky Way in awe and wonder. An incredible moment. 

28. My wife and I taught in China together for three weeks, we learned so much about each other and the world.

29. I have almost died twice (at least), I had skin cancer at 26 and flipped my truck six times when I was 23. 

30. My wife and I along with a bunch of other people sang the national anthem at a Spurs game. Yeah, I am not a real patriotic person but it was still pretty cool. I also performed a Chinese dance for a Chinese cultural association pre-game at a Spurs game too. At that same game, I briefly spoke with Craig Sager and saw Lebron up close. 

31. Went to various Spurs playoffs and one Finals game. Sports dreams do come true! I have also taken my kids to games, just like my dad took me when I was a kid (I went to David Robinson's first regular-season game).  One time, my dad scored us front-row tickets and the ball came right into my lap on one play!

32. I took more graduate classes and my capstone class was in Northern Ireland. I was in Northern Ireland/Ireland and the UK for three weeks. Beautiful locale to learn! 

33. I have painted and created art on and off for years, from birthday posters for the kids (and nephews) to random paintings just for me, it's part of who I am. 

34. I was a college radio DJ for two years. It was pretty sweet. 

35. I have seen almost all my favorite bands in concert, including my favorite concert that will never be topped....Weezer in Austin in 1996. 

36. We created a program at work to take students around the US in 2019 from scratch. No one had done that before. It was amazing and we made so many memories. 

37. I have made and had so many amazing friends. Played basketball and would talk for hours, egged a car of my friend's ex just for him in high school, drank and talked until the wee hours, danced at clubs and got tacos late at night, hosted Christmas parties, and talked forever with friends at work but got not work done! So many moments, large and small that I have shared with some amazing people. Thankful for all the past, present and future friends. 

38. Went to Ethiopia to meet our son. Amazing culture and country. I love being a dad!! 

39. Reading Carl Barks' Donald Duck and Uncle Scrooge comics to my kids at bedtime, introducing my favorite songs and bands to my kids in the car, and sharing my love and passions with them is such a lovely thing. 

40. I don't want to dox myself so I will keep this vague. I was able to stand up to a local, powerful political figure and led an effort to change things.....it worked! One of the best and most important things I have done as a professional.

41. Attended protests and rallies with my kids but also on a less serious note, took them to Free Comic Book Day too! 

42. So many lovely memories with my wife, weekend getaways, driving in the hills of Ireland,  raising our kids, laughing, crying, being in shows together, singing in the car together, never being able to completely finish whistling Pachelbel's Canon together without laughing. 

43. We had a proper, legendary, and disastrous summer family vacation last year. Colorado, Moab, Grand Canyon, and back home. So many crazy things happened but definitely worth it. 

44. My kids are amazing, there are too many moments to mention but of late, teaching my oldest to drive, watching Sound of Music with the middle child, late into the night, and taking my son to the Pokémon card shop. 

45. My wife and I host an annual Christmas party and I love it. We only canceled when our son first came home and for the pandemic. I hope we never have to cancel another one, even though it's tough to do sometimes. 

I have so many more memories I could have shared. I am so grateful for all that I have received, accomplished, and experienced. I love my life, my family, and my friends so much.  I am halfway to 90 and with a lot of luck, I hope to think I can get there.  

Art Post: Layers and Layers

So, I've continued my artistic output over the last few weeks and have a few more to share. As always, take it for what it's worth (which isn't much). 

"Electronics" - Acrylic and mixed media. 

"Electronics" started as an older painting of mine that I had hanging in my garage. I was never quite satisfied with it though, it just seemed a bit drab (you can see the original pink in the top half of the piece). I used old dictionary pages, a page from an animated Hobbit book, and additional pour techniques to get towards its final permutation.  As I was working on the piece it seemed like I was (it was?) trying to capture the idea of spreading energy. I wanted to continue to make it bright, loud and explosive....at least that's what came out in the process. The final addition was the word art at the center of the piece. It was from a comic book made by Radio Shack in the 1970s that I recently purchased. It seemed to fit perfectly for this loud piece, I loved the font too...so 70s and cool. 

Untitled - Acrylic, Oil Pastels, mixed media 

This untitled piece was also an evolution of sorts. The first iteration a few weeks ago was garish and too much of a try-hard. It relied on huge chunks of newsprint and comic books glued on the surface like snowflakes. I found it distasteful but I didn't know what else to do, so I just sidelined it for a few weeks. When I was quarantined because of my COVID case this past week (yay),  I pulled it back out. I ripped off the little snowflake papers, I used a ton of oil pastel, as well as added texture by use of cross-hatching. Now, it feels better. This piece had layer after layer of paper, paint, oil pastels, more paint, more pastels, more crosshatching, etc. it made me realize how much I enjoy the building of layers. I am eager to replicate the process soon and see what develops. 

"Circus" - Acrylic and Oil Pastels on cardboard. 

This one is just okay. It reminds me of something from the mid-20th century, I just added layers on cardboard because I ran out of canvases to touch up. It doesn't feel particularly interesting but it's pleasant to look at. The bright, primary colors reminded me of a circus. So, the title stuck. 

Untitled - Acrylic and Oil Pastels on cardboard.

This one might have the most layers of anything I have done thus far. It felt swamp-like and it evolved from being primarily green to this mix of green, purple, and yellow (with a bit of orange). At some point, the painting felt organic and I imagined it as moss or mold that you might find growing on a cave wall.  Again, I am eager to try this technique on a larger canvas. 

That's it for now, stay cool out there, and don't forget to not catch COVID. 

Pic Dumping - Spring 2022

I save the best from Twitter to send to my friend and now you get to see 'em. That's called pic dumping on this ol' blog. 

Yeah, I'm not watching the new series. Gross.

I actually did this at Target. No, there was no "u". 

It might be stuck in your head now, too!!! 

I hate to say I am "black pilled" but man, I'm not far off. 

This was actually posted at my school in the hallway.  Yeah, a "Jewish" psychic sets up in the hallway to read palms. I am pretty sure they just meant to use a pentagram, but I enjoy thinking the person is Jewish instead. 

This meme might justify the entire internet's existence. 

It's crude but it made me laugh. 

Currently my phone wallpaper. So dignified and cool. Just. Like. Me. 

I would love this on a t-shirt

This is very dark and very funny. 

Superman freakin HATES trees.

I was at a concert this weekend and this sticker was on the urinal. 

The human condition. 

tee-hee.

That's it, ya heathens. Have a great day/night/morning/mid-afternoon/ tea time/ snack time/ nap time or whatever. This blog sucks but come back anyway!!!

The Beauty in Chance Events

Life is full of cycles. 

You can get in a rhythm and you end up in a re-run of habits, hobbies, and activities. Lately, I have been finding myself just watching YouTube on my bed until I was exhausted enough to stop fighting sleep. The old days of my prodigious reading habits faded into an inconsistent bedtime routine. After I finished taking graduate classes in the fall of 2020, my reading fell to almost non-existent. I read a bit but I have struggled to get motivated to read anything in particular. Sure, I would read a few comic books and I did manage to finish an actual book or two but I just wasn't feeling it. 

For the last few years, my creative energy was geared towards writing but art has always been in the background, waiting for me, ever so patiently to come back home. Of course, I have done a few birthday posters for the kids but nothing on my own for years beyond some fun doodling with watercolor markers. With the encouragement of a friend, I started painting again last week. As I painted I realized how much I missed it and how much fun I had been missing out on. I also had forgotten what a gift there is in embracing chance events. 

April, acrylic & paper - April 2022

The above photo was my first effort and I have to admit, I like it. 

I had started fiddling with my watercolor paint pens, drawing branches or roots (a common motif of mine) but it just felt drab and boring. Then I changed my plan and began to paint in an abstract style. Pushing and stretching the paint with my little paint tool.  I purposely didn't put much thought into it. I let my mind and tool unconsciously find their way together, weaving this way, then the other. I selected bright, primary colors (as those make me feel warm and fuzzy).  I added countless layers of paint to give the piece texture and needed depth.  Finally, on the second to last layer, I tore out random bits of paper from old books to add a bit more depth and otherworldliness to the piece. 

----

A few days later I decided to paint again. This time, I painted two pieces at once but only one is good enough to share. The more "experimental" piece (well, trash piece) is kinda a hot mess bordering on disaster overload. 

However, the "good" piece was a much more successful experiment.  I started by building an acrylic base of texture but I also integrated a little bit of the pour technique that's so popular on YouTube with more overt use of collage. Thankfully over the years of art-making, I have collected old books, comic books, and other ephemera like some of my dad's old college papers. I also have a random assortment of things already cut out that weren't used at the time or just plain forgotten about.

I had brought in a huge stack of random stuff and just started grabbing whatever my grubby little hands could find, by chance. I would grab a page, tear it out and drop it anywhere on the canvas or impulsively find a place for it and go with my gut instinct.  I tried to keep in sync with my primal, spontaneous mind so it could find connections and patterns that my conscious mind could never find on its own. I even managed to escape my over-analyzing, over-thinking consciousness for a while and that's always a nice vacation too.  

After about a half-hour I stopped. I didn't like what I was seeing so I decided to come back to later that evening.  When I returned to the piece I added a bit more but still....something was off but I didn't know what. However, it was getting late, so I started putting my art supplies away and cleaning up. As I picked up my huge stack of old books, notebooks, and junk, a perfectly cut-out photo of a baby ostrich fell out of the stack and onto the floor. I instantly picked it up and plopped it right on the wet green blob in the center of the canvas and I and went back to cleaning up. 

After I finished cleaning up, I looked down at the piece and it seemed the baby ostrich made me look at the piece in a whole different light. It now seemed complete and confident. It gave the viewer's eyes a shared starting place to the canvas. Also, baby birds are cute, so there's that too. 

This random baby ostrich, falling from my stack of junk changed everything. I didn't like the painting before but I didn't know what it was missing. This small chance event changed everything. Now, I can't imagine this piece being any other way.  How many random events have happened like this to you and now you can't imagine your life any other way? Some of my most favorite people, events and ideas stem from the extraordinary origin of chance.  

Missed An Issue???, acrylic and paper, April 2022.

I had forgotten the wisdom of creating art. Of course, it's fun and it's an escape for the soul but more importantly, there are lessons to be had if we open to the opportunities presented by the beauty of chance events. 

Things I Miss and I Can Never Get Back (an incomplete list)

I miss playing basketball for hours and then talking to my friends for a couple more hours. 

I miss driving around and getting lost with friends.

I miss wondering what I'll be someday.

I miss holding my babies and rocking them to sleep.

I miss my friend Mikey.

I miss reading the comics on Sunday mornings. 

I miss feeling like everything was so important. 

I miss telling bedtime stories. 

I miss buying an album and hoping that it would be better than just the two songs you knew from the radio. 

I miss not living by my old favorite taco place where our first apartment was. 

I miss when my kids went to bed at a reasonable hour. 

I miss building forts with my kids and having sock battles. 

I miss meeting friends at a bar and not knowing if they were actually there. 

There's still so much to miss and I still have so much still here. 

I am happy to remember and so full of gratitude for my current life and situation. 

Even More Underrated 90's Albums

I have nothing better to do, so it's time to explore EVEN more underrated albums from the 90s.  At some point I am going to run out of underrated albums but there's at least one more post in me after this one. In this post, I share two albums that were personally important to me in the 90s but the first album I write about is an album I discovered much later. 

Lemonheads - Car Button Cloth (1996) 

Evan Dando is one weird dude (this is his current  "intro video" on his YoutTube homepage) and I think it makes Car Button Cloth all the much better for it. Dando could never quite pull it altogether to make a great album (It's a Shame About Ray comes closest). But The Lemonhead's discography is full of good albums and some great songs. Car Button Cloth will have your head bopping along with the jangly guitars and catchy songs that feature odd and creative lyrics.  It's an album that is just very, very 90's. If you like that slacker-college rock, indie music delivered in a deadpan tone, this will work for you. It's not an ambitious album, but it's definitely not straight-ahead "alternative" rock. It's got heart and some of these songs will stick with you. If the momentum of the first six tracks could have held, this would have been a classic 90s album. The back half isn't bad mind you, but the last 6-7 tracks are a grab-bag of okay or generic alternative songs. 

Standout Tracks: Tracks 1-5, but especially "It's All True",  "If I Could Talk I'd Tell You", "Hospital" and  "The Outdoor Type".

Ben Folds Five - Naked Baby Photos (1997)

It's only one of my favorite songs of all time. 

Yeah, yeah, I know, I know...should a compilation album of live performances and demos that was meant to be a quick cash grab capitalizing on a huge hit really be on this list? Yes, yes. and yes. Of course, this isn't Ben Folds Five's best album but it IS underrated and I love this charming album, warts and all. I should preface this by saying this should NOT be your introduction to Ben Folds or Ben Folds Five. If you're a newbie, start with Whatever and Ever Amen, then where you go next is up to you. This was one of those classic 90s purchases for me. I saw it at Best Buy, didn't know a single thing about it, and went for it. I can't really put into words why this album meant so much to me (although the fact I was projecting my romantic life into every single song  on this album helps). It's still a worthwhile trip to take, even if you're not nostalgic for it. It gives you just a taste of what Ben Folds is like live. If you like brash, piano-driven, heart-on-your-sleeve anthems with dashes of jazz and heavy metal...give it a try. 

Standout Tracks: "Jackson Cannery", "Emaline",  "Alice Childress", "Underground", "Twin Falls". 

Coward - S/T (1997) 

This person has the whole album uploaded after being absent from YT or the internet in general for the last 20+ years, this was finally uploaded in 2020. This person is now my hero. 

Coward is the classic case that proves sometimes good songwriting and great melodies aren't enough to "make it". I already said something similar to this in my first "Underrated 90s" post about The Pulsars (which ironically enough is another self-titled release from 1997). Coward released one album to lackluster sales and then promptly disintegrated into the ether of the late 90s. But what they left us with is a gem of an album. It's a fine example of 90s power pop, full of hooks, catchy choruses, rocking solos and good vibes. No doubt, if you give this album a chance, you'll be switching what your favorite song is every few weeks. It's a little cheesy and there are some lyrics (and maybe a song or two) that land with a thud but overall, it's breezy, rocky and fun. It's a mix of the debut albums of Weezer and Fountains of Wayne and it will be stuck in your head for the rest of your life. It's candy for your ears. 

Standout Tracks: "Fell Down", "I Don't Care", " "I Wish", "I'm Alright", "Psycho",  "Mulcahy's" - almost all of it okay! 

A Poem About Popeye

I have things I have to do, I have updates to give you, a random person on the internet (or more likely it's just me in the future reading this). 

That said, here's a poem I wrote a few months ago:

Popeye Determines to Overcome his Midlife Crisis After Reading a Book About Buddhism  

As the third panel comes, I wait for the joke,

But it’s just Bluto waiting to fuck me up.

I run towards the spinach to save the day

but I never seem to remember just why I’m running or why. 

“I am what I am, and that's all that I am”

But the truth is, I don’t know what I am.

I think I am done with this.

There aren’t enough panels for “what I am”.  

There are so many 

terrible/wonderful/beautiful/mysterious 

panels left to find out. 

The self is an illusion, 

I am done lying.