Just Being

A few weeks ago when the rest of my family was out of town on a Sunday, I went for a walk instead of church.

This made me happy because nature makes me feel more spiritual than going to church.

I can't exactly place my finger on why walking outdoors feels more comfortable or "spiritual" than going to church. It might be because I'm really a introvert who forced myself to be an extrovert. Maybe it's because when I'm walking I'm more interested in just being and experiencing rather than trying to rebut the sermon I'm listening to.

Life seems to make more sense outdoors. In the world I'm surrounded by doubt, drama at work, disappointment, and always searching for answers. Most of the time all my thinking just leads to more questions or unsatisfying answers. I don't mean to say my life is horrible - it's just that life out in the world often amounts to unsatisfying conclusions.

When I am in nature - it - no, I am different.


I'm more at peace with life, I'm more calm and relaxed. Even walking towards no destination I seem more purposeful.

Anyway, back to the walk I was talking about....after walking for about thirty minutes I sat down to pray and attempt to meditate. I was reminded by the wisdom of Daoism which sees nature not for what can be done with it, but seeks to emulate it in its very being. Nature doesn't seek answers. It doesn't worry or have any drama. It just is.

"Nature is not kind - It treats all impartially" - Dao De Jing

Sitting there I realized that everything of the world; the rat race, my doubts about God and myself seem so absurd and petty. Our answers are all right here in front of us. When I pray outside I feel closer to creation and my creator. I feel assurance - that there is a purpose for it all. Being busy and constantly doing things creates separation from the natural world or natural way of living.

As I sat down I first watched as a light wind came upon the trees around me like waves in the ocean. It was so quiet, I only heard the leaves rustling above and around me. No planes were overhead and the wind masked the far off highway as well. This solitary moment felt right. I meditated for a short while (honest disclosure: when I meditate, its only for a few seconds at a time). I then prayed for a long time for the first time in a long while.

I continued walking, moving wherever it struck my fancy. I prayed three separate times on that walk. Each prayer was for a long period of time followed by just walking and very little thinking. I wasn't so much asking for things in these prayers as I was just talking and expressing my hopes, concerns and dreams. Some might say I was talking to myself, and maybe that's what part of prayer is. The point is this experience away from church put me in tune with the divine more than church ever does. It was the salve for a tired-churched out guy.

Wu Wei: The Art of Doing Nothing or How to Change the World Without Really Trying

Some people might call me lazy.

I often go with the flow or wait for things to happen. If I have a big problem or project I like to let ideas drift back to my mind for awhile before I make a decision (I call this "marinating"). This is often a trait that is unappreciated.

It turns out I was practicing "Wu Wei" my whole, lazy life.

Wu Wei is one of the central tenets of Daoism. Daoism is the ancient traditional philosophy/religion/wisdom from China that places emphasis on non-action rather than action - on our ability not to force something but to act "within opportunity". Wu Wei is literally translated as "non-action" or "without action".

The concept asks us to stop trying so hard and to be patient. We can't fight fire with fire, so stop trying already! In class I often use the example of "fighting" a cork to stay under water. Of course, when I first had the idea to actually demonstrate this in class, I didn't have a cork, only a rubber toy (and since that's going with the flow, that's how I roll).

Here I must quote from the classic, "The Tao of Pooh" to illustrate the point;

"The harder you hit (the cork) the more it yields; the more it yields, the harder it bounces back. Without expending energy, the cork can easily wear you out. So, Wu Wei overcomes force by neutralizing its power, rather than by adding to the conflict. With other approaches, you may fight fire with fire, but with Wu Wei , you fight fire with water".

There is a reason it's a classic. So, do yourself a favor and go read it.

My other favorite example of Wu Wei is Tim Duncan.

 Spent four mintues looking for a Wu Wei Tim photo and figured that was not "going with the flow"

 so I just gave up and clicked on a random one.

I've never seen a more patient or possibly unselfish player. The guy never cared about stats (at least his game never showed the usual flashes of selfishness displayed by many of the great ones). If Timmy was posting on the block he would wait to see what the defense would give him before taking action. If he had a weak player defending him, he would bully in. Stronger or athletic defender he might take a jump shot or try to draw a foul. If he had a double (or in his peak a quick triple) team, he would pass out and trust his teammates to knock down the open shot. Just recently Tim had an opportunity to complete a triple-double, as he was one assist short when he re-entered the game.  His quote after the game reveals a true wu wei attitude;   “I wasn’t trying to get it, it was just the flow of the game and the plays being called.”


It shouldn't have been a surprise that Tim and the Spurs have been called boring because they didn't force their offense or defense. They didn't overpower or overwhelm, they just reacted accordingly to their opponent's strategy and/or players.

Wu Wei is hard for many Americans to "get". We are taught to be "go-getters" and to "make a name for ourselves". We are told to create are our opportunities. Our dreams lay just beyond our reach, only waiting for us to get to work achieving them.

These myths often work against our very self-interest that they seem to be promoting. We take a career path or the first job offered because it's a good salary and we're trying to make something happen. Later, we find ourselves miserable because the career or job isn't a good fit for our personality. We force ourselves into relationships because it's what we're "supposed to do" and later find out we're highly incompatible with our mate.

One of my favorite quotes from the Dao De Jing shows that working for ourselves just leads to ruin:

"There is no greater mistake than following desire; There is no greater disaster than forgetting contentment; There is no greater sickness than seeking attainment; But one who is content to satisfy his needs, Finds that contentment endures."

So, if we can't trust ourselves to find happiness - who or what do we trust in to find happiness, purpose and meaning into our lives?

That will all be explained in part two.....if I feel like it.

One Week as A Muslim: Days 4 & 5

Days 4 and 5 have come and (almost gone).

I just have to admit it, I am not good at this.

I started off by missing my morning prayer on day four. It's been such a long and eventful two days, that I've even forgotten how that happened. I prayed at work my Dhuhr prayer (around 1:35) and was stung by ants crawling on the floor (the fiends!). I got home right at 5:00 and purposely did not pray because it was 5:00 and my daughters wanted to play and I had to prepare dinner and get them in bed by myself. I was back at for the last two prayers of the day.

Today, I AGAIN missed the morning prayer. This time the cat woke me up at 4:10 - I had to throw her in the garage and I thought, "just as I fall asleep my alarm is going to go off; what am I doing anyway?; I'm not really Muslim...I can make the prayer up at work". Just like that I shut off the alarm...

To my credit, I didn't fall asleep until after 4:40 (yeah, I keep track of stuff like that) and I did do my morning prayer at work. Even still, it felt like I was cheating.

I missed the afternoon prayer this time because I was CRAZY busy helping with registration. I felt guilty leaving my post...that's the simple truth. I should have but this time I thought, "It's not like I have any readers anyway". Um-huh, my internal voice actually said that. But I avoided the pepperoni pizza (boy, was I tempted - absentmindedly, I even had placed it on my plate...but replaced it with a dried up cheese slice).

But I haven't missed a prayer since (the house was briefly empty when I got home) I have to pray again shortly, but plan on doing so.

Look, maybe it's a little presumptuous but today I came up with a much better schedule for prayer (forgive me Allah)

Morning: Whenever you wake up
Mid-Morning: 10:25 (if you wake up after this point, you can make it up later in the day)
Afternoon: 2:25
((Mid-Afternoon Make-up (only if you missed the mid-morning prayer due to a late start): 3:45))
Early Evening: 7:25
Night: Before you go to bed

I like it because it would be spaced out a bit more and it would provide you time to pray at work, when you need it (at least when I need it most!).

Anyway, I'm not changing the game mid-stream just trying to think about what I would have set-up if it was all up to me.

Serious Reflection Time: So, what impact has prayer had on me so far?


It's hard to measure, although I have definitely prayed more than I ever have in my life. At least three times during the day I am making personal prayers to God. I have been focusing on our upcoming adoption and our child's birth mother - but also on our upcoming service project I am organizing.

It's made me even more appreciative than I already was....just reciting, "and my cup overflows" a few times a day is awesome. Reciting really does help you start to believe what you're saying. I thought the prayer might get remote or ritual-like but it has surprisingly stayed fresh. I really try to "feel" what I'm saying.

Never a big fan of even hinting at the "health and wealth" gospel - but I can truly say that this week has led me to realize that I believe "surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life".

Interlude from Joel Osteen: "Ya know it might not have worked for you, but it did for me...check out all this cool, expenisive leopard print stuff.

On the surface it sounds pompous or even arrogant but when I reflect on it; I find it to be true. In a literal sense, I will be a father of three children, I'm married to a wonderful wife and have a wonderful family (in-laws included). Furthermore, I've got some great friends, our church family is great and I love my job. I believe that even when these variables change....I will still be surrounded by love. Furthermore, I will always be journeying with God for the rest of my life. God's love will suffice through all the good and all the hard times to come. In the coming days I write up a little more commentary on these verses I've been reciting....I never thought just simply repeating words would do so much.

One Week As A Muslim: Day 3: Imagining "God"

After the total failure of last week, I was back in the saddle again as a "Muslim".

Once again, I was back up before dawn and found it surprisingly easier than before. I recited my prayer without the print out and was tuned in as if I didn't skip a beat (falling back to sleep is always a little bit of an issue but still not too bad).

While I've gotten better at my recitation - one aspect of the prayer gives me pause. During the prostration you are supposed to "reflect on the glory of God" or something like that. As described elsewhere it this is the nonverbal part of the prayer - the most vague - I have the hardest time with.

If you say the word "God" to most westerner's you usually get 1-2 images that come to mind. One is the classic old man with a beard in a white robe. The other image is the stereotypical image of Jesus. In my case, my image of God comes from the picture printed on the inside of my Bible I had as a child. Ya know the one, he's on the cross, nearly naked, looking like he's in pain - bearded, long hair, etc. When someone says, "God"; that's usually the image that comes to mind.

So at 4:58 in the morning I find myself prostrated trying to reflect on the glory of God...and I got....nothing. Sometimes that picture of Jesus pops into my head. Other times I picture photos from the Hubbell telescope. Otherwise, my mind acts like it does during meditation. Meaning, it's here or there but not really focused (I had a really good meditation session once - but that's a different post for another night).

In Islam, the depiction of God is prohibited. If you visit a mosque or Islamic Center - you'll find relatively bare walls with the only decoration being Arabic calligraphy with verses from the Qur'an. When you Google "Allah" a bunch of images of the word "Allah" come at you.

Example Above: Way too afraid to make a joke.

 Is this what Muslims see in their mind's eye when they hear the word "Allah"?


Also interesting is that images of the word "Allah" can be seen in the darnest places (much like the Virgin Mary) - "Allah" in the clouds, "Allah" in the water and my favorites, "Allah"on a piece of (disputed) fruit;  "Allah" on a cow.

Can't wait to see "Allah" & the Virgin Mary on same pizza someday.

Anyway, back on topic - I think Islam has the right idea. Humans are always trying to make God more recognizable, or familiar. In many ways, this can be a good thing but on the other hand, God can't be and shouldn't be put in a box. While I might believe God's consciousness or form was temporarily in human form - "God" transcends outside the realm of human existence. God is neither male nor female, body nor spirit - God transcends all earthly ideas of life itself - leaving humans with our limited imaginations of what God might be.

So, I'll be working on what to say, think or imagine in the coming days....in the end, I'd like to think God believes it's the thought that counts.