Peru Fragments: Part V: The Dream That Came True

In the summer of 2014 I taught a short-term study abroad program to Peru. Here is my fourth post of fragments on the trip. Here was Part IV.

As we were driving down from Misminay, many in our group fell asleep. I usually can't sleep in cars and this was no exception. Just listened to a podcast and enjoyed the view driving down the mountainside.

We arrived back in Ollantanytambo to catch the train to Aguas Calenties, the small town at the base of Machu Picchu.  We checked into our hotel room and went out for dinner at a nice place (I forgot the name of it). I had a stuffed fried rococo pepper. It was awesome. We had a nice dinner where we actually had a pretty focused "class" discussion for a good while.

This was one of my favorite meals of the trip. Note the rococo sauce near the top right of my plate, which just gave it that extra spice kick that I love.  

According to the forecast on two different weather apps, there was an 80% chance of showers the next day. This chance of rain was really, really bumming me out. I couldn't believe my one day at Machu Picchu would be potentially ruined. I tried to convince myself that it wouldn't be that bad. I had a poncho and umbrella, and it couldn't rain the whole time we were there. Right?

We called it an early evening as our goal was to arrive at the peak just before sunrise. Our wake up time was 4:30 or something insane like. The streets of Aguas Calenties are packed with restaurants, bars and hotels. Our hotel was situated immediately next to a nice looking pub. It is no exaggeration to say the people in that bar sounded like they were having the time of their lives. I'm not even joking. It was a piano sing-along bar and it just sounded so fun. Any other time, I would have been up for having a drink and checking it out except for the fact that I was trying to get rest and wake up before dawn.  Eventually, the music didn't matter, because I was exhausted. I woke up sometime around 2:00 in the morning and discovered they were thankfully closed. I was additionally thankful that I fell right back asleep.

We got up on time but I felt like we couldn't move fast enough to get down to the bus site. The whole group seemed strangely more lethargic as we entered what I knew would be our peak experience.   Thankfully, there were some morning clouds but nothing looked menacing. As we stood in line for the bus, dawn approached. I was a little perturbed because the idea was to be up on the peak as the sun came up, but I had forgotten just because it was light outside, it didn't mean the sun had peaked over the mountains.

Traveling up the mountain.

You can see the first ray of sunshine just peaking over the ridge of mountains on the right. 

How do you feel when a dream comes true?  

I found myself in this very predicament atop one of the world's most beautiful places. 

I was restless and unable to really pay attention as much as I would have liked during our 1.5 hour tour. After the tour, I found myself walking around aimlessly alone, looking out upon the most breathtaking vistas imaginable.  Exploring the buildings I had wanted to explore as a kid. I felt overwhelmed and alone. My colleague was busy walking with with a student who almost never left his side, but I didn't really want to be around anyone either. Looking back, this was one of the times I missed my wife the most. I wanted to share this moment with my best friend. 

I tried to soak it all up, but whenever dreams come true, it always seems like focusing on the event itself, is the wrong way to do it. I usually find myself practicing mindfulness at least a few times a day but being at Machu Picchu the experience seemed hard to pin down. The hype I had given this moment (from age 11) couldn't possibly match reality, could it?

I think I'm a little tired at just the memory of climbing all those ancient steps. 

As you can see, there was no rain. I don't think American weather apps do well outside the US. 

Your intrepid blogger (he's the one wearing the hat) 

It was a truly amazing experience but did it or could it live up to my own personal hype?

Nope.

I think it was impossible with a few thousand people around me, but it came darn close. There were moments of clarity and mindfulness that I won't forget and for that, I am thankful. After lunch at the restaurant on site (good but expensive) we took a hike to the Sun Gate. After days of walking, hiking and climbing mountains, this hike was another killer for my tired legs but even still, great. The Sun Gate was nice and I can say I hiked some of the Inca Trail. I also peed on it, cause I had to (don't worry no one was looking and it was in the grass).  

Looking from the Sun Gate to the main site, the road below on the right is the road the bus takes to the top. 

We stayed at in the park until about 4:00 PM, meaning we where there for about 10 hours. We descended down back into Aguas Calenties to grab a bite to eat, pick up our luggage and catch the train back to Ollantanytambo. Before we would, there's another story to tell but I'll save that for the next entry.  One day I'll finish this blog series, but at least I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Blissed Out

When was the last time you felt bliss?  Not happiness or contentment, but actual bliss.  Be sure to exclude sex because that’s too easy.

A recent episode of Radiolab explored this very question (although not with the sex qualifier).  In the show they discussed the story of Aleksander Gamme  - who had been on an  expedition in Antarctica.  As he traveled to his destination he left packages of supplies and occasionally food for his return trip.  As he made his way back he had forgotten at which of the drops he had left the food at. He was wondering if he had any food left and he was very hungry. That’s when this happened after he had not eaten in two days:

For those of you too lazy to watch the amazing video, he did find food in his last drop.  Cheezdoodles, to be exact and his response is classic. He is blissed out on junk food.  His expressions (especially those when he is just staring with his mouth agape in shock) are priceless.

Anyway, back to the question about bliss....when I first heard it, I just kinda pushed it in the back of my head as I was listening to the podcast and grading some quizzes.  Later on I starting thinking…when was the last time I felt “bliss”? I thought of the typical answers – when I got engaged?; at my marriage ceremony?; when my kids where born?  Nothing stuck though. Sure, I was happy in all of those moments but Cheezdoodle Bliss? No, not really.

It seems like if bliss can exist at all - it could only begin when your sense of self awareness becomes lost in a blissed-out moment.   In most big moments like getting married - you're too self-consciously aware of "the moment"  to be in bliss. I recently watched the DVD of our wedding and I look extremely uncomfortable and on the brink of tears.  Although I don't remember feeling exactly that way, I do remember being super-aware of everything like my brain was trying to record and store that moment forever. It wasn't exactly bliss.  

Then it came to me as I was driving home from work. I remembered the last time I experienced bliss. In fact, I could even recall the date (11/10/12) and even down to the exact moment.  

Here it was:





So you might guess I am an Aggie from watching the above video (class of '99).  The interception clinched an upset of the #1 team in the nation.  Texas A&M hadn't been this good in decades. When the season finished we were ranked in the top five for the first time since 1956.  When the season started most Aggies would have been happy with a winning record, which made everything that followed a little bit sweeter. Even before this particular game, I knew this team was special. When I witnessed the interception, I jumped up and down in my living room and laughed like a high-pitch hyena. My 6 year-old daughter told me that my laugh was "terrifying". Terrifying or not and as temporary as it was....it was...bliss. 

It struck me that sports offers these spontaneous, unconscious, self-forgetting, moments.  Isn't that what mystics enter in meditation, worship, prayer, etc. Religions offer individuals ways to subsume themselves into a larger consciousness or understanding.  You can forget and feel forgiven, come before the divine and forget your burdens, worries, fears, sins, insecurities and just...be. 

Whenever I am at church and I see people do this  I wonder - how can they be doing this? How do they turn off the part of their brain that feels foolish or self conscious? Granted I wasn't raised in a church that did this so that explains a lot. However, it's not just raising the hands in the air - it's everything. I always feel like the kid in class who doesn't "get it" (or maybe everyone else is just faking it). 

I've always craved to have a religious experience like that and yet my self seems to always stand in the way.  I'm over thinking, over analyzing and I just can't make my brain stay still. I could blame my culture and the fact I was raised on corn syrup, I have ADD (no, not really but maybe) or watched too many cartoons growing up, but I think this problem is larger than culture. Getting over ourselves is a problem all humans have encountered. You might even say that's why religious practices were created - to create possible fleeting moments of bliss. 

Today, we're less religious and more distracted. Maybe that's why there are so many sports fans and sex fiends -- we're addicted to the rush of feeling bliss. It's the only way we know how to forgot our selves.