One Week As A Muslim: Days 6 & 7

I finished up my week as a Muslim and I gotta say the ending of this experiment was a unmitigated disaster.

I would love to give you the blow by blow - but we spent the weekend in a whirlwind of cleaning and doing other stuff required by Father's Day activities that would make your little head spin. The truth is I can barely remember last Thursday, let alone Friday-Saturday (Sunday is actually pretty clear).

It ended with a few prayers on day six and zero, count 'em ZERO on day seven. Technically, it shouldn't even count. I suppose I didn't eat pork on Sunday.

If you consider the thinking, the writing, the planning, and the guilt it feels like I've been meditating on being a Muslim for freakin' month.

List of Things I Learned in one week as a Muslim

Pork is everywhere and more tempting than you might think.

It's hard to get up before 5:00 in the morning, and I consider myself kinda of a morning person

Kids screaming during prayers - makes it difficult to think.

When praying on the floor, check for ants or other bugs that bite.

Being a secret Muslim requires patience and good planning.


Seriously, when I get a little more time I want to write a little more reflective piece on my experiences.

So, I leave thee with bated breath, waiting upon my pontifications of wisdom and charm.

One Week as A Muslim: Days 4 & 5

Days 4 and 5 have come and (almost gone).

I just have to admit it, I am not good at this.

I started off by missing my morning prayer on day four. It's been such a long and eventful two days, that I've even forgotten how that happened. I prayed at work my Dhuhr prayer (around 1:35) and was stung by ants crawling on the floor (the fiends!). I got home right at 5:00 and purposely did not pray because it was 5:00 and my daughters wanted to play and I had to prepare dinner and get them in bed by myself. I was back at for the last two prayers of the day.

Today, I AGAIN missed the morning prayer. This time the cat woke me up at 4:10 - I had to throw her in the garage and I thought, "just as I fall asleep my alarm is going to go off; what am I doing anyway?; I'm not really Muslim...I can make the prayer up at work". Just like that I shut off the alarm...

To my credit, I didn't fall asleep until after 4:40 (yeah, I keep track of stuff like that) and I did do my morning prayer at work. Even still, it felt like I was cheating.

I missed the afternoon prayer this time because I was CRAZY busy helping with registration. I felt guilty leaving my post...that's the simple truth. I should have but this time I thought, "It's not like I have any readers anyway". Um-huh, my internal voice actually said that. But I avoided the pepperoni pizza (boy, was I tempted - absentmindedly, I even had placed it on my plate...but replaced it with a dried up cheese slice).

But I haven't missed a prayer since (the house was briefly empty when I got home) I have to pray again shortly, but plan on doing so.

Look, maybe it's a little presumptuous but today I came up with a much better schedule for prayer (forgive me Allah)

Morning: Whenever you wake up
Mid-Morning: 10:25 (if you wake up after this point, you can make it up later in the day)
Afternoon: 2:25
((Mid-Afternoon Make-up (only if you missed the mid-morning prayer due to a late start): 3:45))
Early Evening: 7:25
Night: Before you go to bed

I like it because it would be spaced out a bit more and it would provide you time to pray at work, when you need it (at least when I need it most!).

Anyway, I'm not changing the game mid-stream just trying to think about what I would have set-up if it was all up to me.

Serious Reflection Time: So, what impact has prayer had on me so far?


It's hard to measure, although I have definitely prayed more than I ever have in my life. At least three times during the day I am making personal prayers to God. I have been focusing on our upcoming adoption and our child's birth mother - but also on our upcoming service project I am organizing.

It's made me even more appreciative than I already was....just reciting, "and my cup overflows" a few times a day is awesome. Reciting really does help you start to believe what you're saying. I thought the prayer might get remote or ritual-like but it has surprisingly stayed fresh. I really try to "feel" what I'm saying.

Never a big fan of even hinting at the "health and wealth" gospel - but I can truly say that this week has led me to realize that I believe "surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life".

Interlude from Joel Osteen: "Ya know it might not have worked for you, but it did for me...check out all this cool, expenisive leopard print stuff.

On the surface it sounds pompous or even arrogant but when I reflect on it; I find it to be true. In a literal sense, I will be a father of three children, I'm married to a wonderful wife and have a wonderful family (in-laws included). Furthermore, I've got some great friends, our church family is great and I love my job. I believe that even when these variables change....I will still be surrounded by love. Furthermore, I will always be journeying with God for the rest of my life. God's love will suffice through all the good and all the hard times to come. In the coming days I write up a little more commentary on these verses I've been reciting....I never thought just simply repeating words would do so much.

Guilt and Loathing in The Lost Weekend As a Muslim

The whirlwind of days 3-6 are just about over (two hours and counting) and my "Muslim" faith didn't survive.

I have a truckload of excuses. We were getting ready for our massive garage sale fundraiser all day and all-night Friday (and believe me the work required was massive). I was literally doing something all day Friday-Sunday. There were no breaks and I managed 4 hours sleep on Friday.

I could chalk it up to bad timing....but really, the truth is, I've failed.

weird, huh? that's kinda how i felt though.

I haven't had one prayer since early Thursday evening or early Friday (I can't even remember it feels like years ago). When I wasn't busy - I could start to feel the guilt setting in. I've heard of Catholic guilt but I gotta say, Muslim guilt could be pretty bad. I could Google it, but I'm too tired. If I had readers, maybe they could look it up for me.

SERIOUS SIDENOTE: how do these bloggers do it?  I mean seriously?!!??

Saturday was the crescendo of it all. I was physically beat and I actually felt almost all of my near 33 years (on a daily level I feel between 27-29 and a half years).

I feel asleep on the couch reading right after I tucked our oldest in at about 9:00. I knew I wasn't waking up at 4:50 in the morning. I was already been deflated and defeated.

Sunday came and church and lawn work followed (as we were having people over and the back yard looked like a jungle)....anyway, today I went to work and faced the first day of registration on my feet for most of day.

I just keep thinking, "I can't believe I gave up on all this after TWO measly days". two - days and I was toast.

So, I am restarting this experiment tomorrow morning. It was definitely a rough patch. I could give up and call it a day...after all, this is a "fragment" blog. So, I am restarting day three tomorrow and submitted all over again (takes a deep breath).

One Week As A Muslim: Day 2

Day two was relatively successful. My prayers went off without a hitch (well, except the 8:30 PM) but that was a bit of foreshadowing to say the least.


During day two, I had my prayers down pat. I could recite most of it mindfully and really reflect on what I was saying. I could feel myself actually feeling....wait for it.... spiritual at times. A peaceful reassurance when reading Psalm 23; while a desire to submit and follow with the "Lord's Prayer".

At work, I found myself trapped furthest from the door at a packed-to-the-gills meeting (literally 75+ in a room meant for 25 or 30 at the max). I had to quietly get out before my afternoon prayer - which made for a slightly uncomfortable and more visible exit than I would have preferred.

I found an empty room again, but once again, found myself looking at the door, waiting to be "outed" as a secret Muslim (imagine how Obama must feel).

Little Known Fact: Our last 11 presidents have all been secret Muslims - "W" even kissed this guy - what a homo.

That evening I came home right at 5:00 and had to quickly prepare for prayer. This didn't go over too well. While my wife was and is extremely accommodating for such a weird guy - my 18 month old-daughter certainly doesn't get it. She came into the room as I was praying (unknown to my wife) - I continued to pray and placed her on our bed (she loves climbing on anything). When Kathryn discovered her, she took her out which; of course resulted in a screaming fit. Needless to say the rest of my prayer was rushed and not, as they say, "centered".

Topping the day off we ate at an "Persian" restaurant near our home (owned by Iraqi's). It was definitely fun and my daughters enjoyed watching strangely familiar music videos from the Middle East. It's like the late-80's-early 90's style music videos never really died...they just took root in a different part of the world.

Fact: This video was based on a real experince. If you see a person appearing as a sketch, you've just broken the fourth demension.

I totally forgot about the 8:30 prayer as I was immersed in baking cookies for our upcoming adoption fundraising garage sale. As I hit the sack late on Thursday, I was tired....little did I know my little successful run was about to be broken.

One Week As A Muslim: Day 1

After two missteps, my one week journey as a Muslim finally began today.

After my cell phone alarm had me up at 4:50 - I went to the kitchen sink to begin the wudu cleansing rituals. These rituals can only be described as, well, literally symbolic. While you physically clean yourself; the point isn't physical cleanliness but rather a spiritual cleansing before praying to God. I felt a little divided about wudu this early in the morning. On one hand, I like the idea of preparing myself before praying but then again its 4:50 in the morning and the process will be waking me up more than I would ever want to be.


I started with my hands, nostrils, mouth, face, arms (up to my elbows) and finally my feet (up to my ankles). All this was repeated three times. I later found out I was practicing Sunnah traditions, which are based on the Sunni Hadiths.  Admittedly, wudu did its job - I felt fresh and wide awake after I was done.

This would have been nice, but I stretch well - I hope the wife doesn't mind my feet near the kitchen sink! :)

I started my recitation (again, I am reciting from my faith tradition using the 23rd Psalms and the Lord's Prayer) and completed two rakats (two prayer cycles) before heading back to bed.

Of course, my body was ready to start the day. I probably didn't drift off until about 5:30. Thankfully, our oldest only got up at 6:30 and stayed in her "Quiet Time" for the full 30 minutes until 7:00AM. Needless to say I was ready for my coffee at that point.

I went along with my day as usual; I left for work around 8:00ish and checked emails, made a few phone calls, got ready for my class, etc. My class will be conflicting with the afternoon prayer (Dhuhr) as it runs on MW from 11:00-1:45. Dhuhr usually happens between 1:32-1:35 PM. According to tradition, it's okay that I'm a little late - I am just supposed to make it up as soon as possible. So, after class and answering a few after-class questions, I headed upstairs back to my office. I thought I would check my email and find a vacant room (thankfully not as difficult to do in the summer semester). I got sidetracked by a friend...and then I remembered that I was already late with my prayer duties. I headed to the men's room for my wudu.

As I began cleaning myself in the public restroom for Dhuhr I began to feel a little self-conscious for the first time in my journey. I was worried someone might walk in as I was washing my arms up to my elbows. No one came in - but it definitely put me in the position of a Muslim here in the states. I began to appreciate the tension created by participating in a different belief system than the dominant culture.

Direct Link: http://www.mattbors.com/2008/07/muslim-in-america.html

I explored an area of our building that had a number of empty rooms. As I began my prayers in the corner of a darkened room, I nervously keep peeking towards to door when I heard the noise of nearby doors opening and closing or people walking by. I half-expected someone to burst in and discover me with my shoes off, bowing in prayer in the corner. I started to turn a computer on in case someone came in so that I could create a facade that I was checking something on the computer. However, I determined to just tell the truth if I was discovered.

When I got home, my family was at the in-law’s house (just around the corner) which allowed me peace and quiet for the Asr prayer (a little after 5:00 PM). I was expecting them any minute and rushed the whole process (this was definitely my worst prayer of the day). I slacked further at Maghrib (8:30ish PM) when I was making cookies for our garage sale adoption fundraiser and completely forgot. I remembered when Kathryn came home and started about 15 minutes late.

Finally my Isha prayer was a breeze because not only was it on-time but I hadn’t broken any of cleanliness traditions – I didn’t have to perform my wudu! What a relief for the last prayer of the day. I was definitely tuned in more than the others – I wasn’t tired, rushed or nervous someone would discover me and I was finally beginning to memorize my recitations.

My first day as “Muslim” was relatively successful. I haven’t explored the spiritual side of my experience so far, but I thought I would have plenty of time to do that in the future blog entries (after all, this is only day one of seven). I’m ready for Day 2!

One Week As A Muslim: -1 & -2 day as Muslim: Complete and Utter Failure

I was ready to start my week as a “Muslim” early Monday morning.

(See the prior post if you are confused for the details).

Sunday night I found myself dead tired from a long weekend out of town.  However, I was determined to go forward with the plan.

I had my prayer rituals printed out. I had my scripture picked out (I went with the old standards – Psalms 23 and the traditional “Lord’s Prayer” more on this later this week).

After we got the kids to bed, we cleaned the kitchen (we had left it dirty when we left for Austin). Then I got ready for the next day (the first day of the summer session) and fired off some important emails.  When we finally got into bed it was after midnight.  I told my wife, “no pain, no gain” and set my alarm for 4:50 – 10 minutes before Fajr, the first prayer of the day. This would give me enough time to perform the ritual wudu – which is the ritual cleaning of the hands, face, mouth, nostrils, arms and feet.

I suddenly awoke at 1:30 at the sound of our oldest (4 years old) crying. I might have dreamt this because when I checked on her she was fast asleep in bed.  As I dragged myself back to bed I felt as though the like the Tired Stick and been beaten over my head. I was groggy and out of it and with little thought – turned off my alarm.

I felt bad but knew I wasn’t physically ready after a long weekend. I made plans for Tuesday to be the day. This time I turned on the alarm – I was ready to go.  This time I awoke sometime at 5:30 – my alarm had gone off but the radio was so soft (as to not wake the wife) it hadn’t done it’s job. I had overslept Fajr by 40 minutes! In Islam you can make this up by praying around the time of sunrise (Shorook) around 6:30 but 6:30 at my house is “Go Time” and there would be no time for me to pray.

So, I will begin the process again tomorrow. This time around I will be using my cell phone alarm...although now I know why an adhan is needed because you can't accidentally oversleep.

Experiment in Living # 1: One Week as a Muslim

So I have decided to embark on a little experiment in living. In a few days or weeks (whenever I feel like I'm ready) I will live like a Muslim for one whole week.  I’m not converting to the Islamic faith – my entire experiment will be through the lens of Christian belief and practice (i.e., instead of reciting the first chapter from the Qur’an, I’ll be reciting a chapter from Psalms). My goal is to embrace what being a “Muslim” is – to submit to God. Here will be my basic rules:


*Practice Cleanliness traditions such as wudu (as this relates to prayer).


* Pray five times a day as prescribed in the Qur’an during the prescribed times (this can change daily but usually lands around the following times: 5:20ish, 6:30ish, 1:30ish, 5:10ish, 8:30ish and 9:50ish). This includes trying to find time to pray at work or whenever I may be.  Most prayer traditions will be followed.    


*I will not consume pork or alcohol (I’ll be doing a bit of cheating; as strictly speaking , Muslims should not eat any meat not killed properly by another Muslim)


*I will (or we will) try to dine at one of our "Persian" restaurants that week..(this one is just for fun more than anything).

So, between now and then, I will be selecting some prayer verses I will be reciting, memorizing them and studying the physical movements of prayer. 

Should have an update in about a week...or at least the night before I start this crazy experiment in living.