Weezer's Tragic Girl

Note: This is a Weezer-centric post, consider yourself warned.

Weezer's Pinkerton was re-issued last month and I can heartily recommend it to anyone interested in finding out what 1990's rock music was all about. Pinkerton Deluxe serves as a testament to the world that the song writing of Rivers Cuomo of the 1990's was only surpassed (in my humble opinion) by that of the Beatles in the mid-60's. It's a crazy argument that will get it's own post someday.

Anyway, back to the task at hand. Last spring the online community learned that there would be a track on the Deluxe edition of Pinkerton that had been recorded but unbelievably forgotten about. This was a huge shock, as Rivers had meticulously documented just about every song he ever wrote onto a spreadsheet. Even song fragments and chord progressions got documented. Here was a song that seemed to come out of nowhere. An un-heard b-side of that era, Getting Up and Leaving was already legendary. This was a revelation.

Weezer in 1996 - Weezer's always had a thing for weird photo shoots but back then the douche factor much lower. 

The unearthed song was titled "Tragic Girl" and instantly there was suspicion that it was a new song or a fragment that was being re-recorded. Even the title was denounced as sounding "post-Pinkerton" (a common reference in the online Weezer community, usually inferring inferiority of anything after 1996).

After a few weeks we finally received confirmation from the band's sixth man, Karl Koch. He stated it was indeed a lost track that was recorded when he was out of town and just completely forgotten about. The song was touched up in 2010, but Karl hinted the changes were less than 5% of the total song. Most importantly he said the song was good (at one point claiming it was "god X 1000...you think I'm kidding").

What made this so tantalizing was that Cuomo during the Pinkerton-era was at his most ambitious, most confident and most free. It was a dream come true for a Weezer fan.

As the release day finally approached I kept trying to keep my expectations down, thinking it was more than likely about as good as a demo or b-side of the era (which, is actually, pretty amazing). I kept thinking that it can't be that good if it was forgotten about.

When I finally heard the song, it just about blew my expectations out of the water. It was everything a lost-Pinkerton track should sound like. On the first listen, I smiled as the drums kicked in (God, I've missed this type of sound on a Weezer record). The guitars are messy and the lyrics are (at times) amazing. The song structure is non-typical and the guitar solo and musical interludes are a breath of fresh air from the cookie-cutter song writing approach Weezer has typically produced lately (with a few notable exceptions on The Red Album).

(That was a lot of parentheses in one paragraph)

This isn't Weezer, I just found it Googling Weezer pictures. Just look at 'em - some random band.  I'm a pacifist and this photo elicits violence in me. I want to send them a comb for Christmas.

The song centers on a relationship that is ending. As with all of Pinkerton-era songs, the lyrics are brutally honest. However, in this case the narrator isn't as sympathetic in his presentation of himself as he is on the album. In Pinkerton, Rivers presents himself as at various times, creepy, horny, obsessive and weird but the main theme of the album is unrequited love. We feel bad for Rivers in most of the songs. Only on the album's closer, Butterfly does the narrator finally accept most of the blame for his relationship problems.

In Tragic Girl, Cuomo is up-front that this withering relationship that is mostly physical for him "Even as I anoint your door, I'm looking out for something more". In fact, he's "...crying too - because no one else touches me like you do". In classic Cuomo fashion, he feels bad about it all, but covers it up, "I'll try my darnest to be a bastard, I want you to think I don't care."

It's this duality of men that women will never understand. "Look, I'm using you, but I feel really bad about."

He goes on to say to the woman, "You're a tragic girl, you lead a tragic life, I'm just meant to be your latest tragedy". Rivers recognizes something inherently sad about her. Maybe he knows she's just had a dramatic, sad life. Maybe it's just this specific relationship that's tragic. The point is, he loves her physically but deep down, he knows that she's just not right for him.

The apex of the song has Cuomo lamenting, "This ain't no butterfly girl, this ain't' butterfly love, I'm gonna have to be your latest tragedy".

Here is where I am having trouble with the song - I associate butterflies with child-like innocence, beauty, and fragility. Wouldn't that be the epitome of a tragic girl? Is he saying, "Look, you might be fragile and tragic and all that, but this was never some sort of deep, meaningful relationship to me"? Maybe he believes she was never "innocent" to begin with...I'm unsure.

It's a beautiful song. It's sung with so much conviction that it sounds like it hurts. It's a mixed emotional bag of a self-loathing, living in denial of who-I-am, sex-obsessed, recluse/rock star life.

I recently read a review of Pinkerton Deluxe that claimed Rivers was a "creepy jerk" (or something like that). I suppose there are some creepy parts...but that's what I love about it. It was brave. He's honest about who he was and what he was experiencing. He did not give in to the temptation we have of just telling others about the good side of us. Rivers showed us who he was - warts and all.

In doing so, we related to who he was -- what guy hasn't ever been creepy at one time or a total jerk to a nice girl? What guy hasn't gotten a little obsessive about someone that rejected him? We all go through this. It's part of growing up.

Many in the Weezer community were reminded that this is probably the last we'll ever hear of the late-great band that was. I don't feel sad at all - I'm just thankful for a little more 90's Weezer than I ever expected to hear. I got over what I wanted Weezer to be a long time ago. Yeah, it's disappointing, but why focus on the negatives? Without "crappy" Weezer today, this would still be rotting on a forgotten tape somewhere.

Greatest Songs In the World, Part I: Across the Sea

I wrote this a long time ago for a friend. I wanted him to fall in love with the song so I felt I had to give the song a little context. Predictably, my essay didn't do it....I guess my original essay failed in its purpose. However, I still liked it enough to revamp it and share it on the blog. Enjoy.


We all have songs that we claim ownership of. They seem to embed themselves in our lives. Each time we hear these songs we time travel back to when we first fell in love with the song. Fourteen years after hearing this song for the first time, it still floors me. Weezer's "Across the Sea" is one of the best rock songs of all-time.

If you don't have this album, then get it.

You may be thinking I have framed my thesis in dramatic terms, maybe over-stepped the bounds of rock history. After all, years ago Rolling Stone released a list of the greatest rock n’ roll songs of all time and nary a Weezer song was even close on the list. Honestly, after the travesty of Radititue, any reasonable person who might be unfamiliar with Weezer's sophomore album, Pinkerton might think I am insane.

"Across the Sea" is Weezer's crowning moment with its closest competition coming from the incredible, ‘Say it Ain’t So’ from the “Blue Album”. On a purely musical level, it is satisfying. I love the drums, the bridge, the solo, and the fact that there's a piano hidden in all the noise. It's loud, textured and emotional. When you listen with headphones all the nuances shine though. Why can’t every album sound like this?

The strength of the song lies not so much in its lyrics (more on this later) but its theme. Cuomo's song displays pure, unadulterated, old-fashioned longing. Who can't relate to that?

“Across the Sea” is based on a true story. When Rivers was attending Harvard he started to attempt to write songs for the follow up to Weezer’s success debut album. Unfortunately, he came down with a case of writer’s block. Months rolled by with little to no songwriting until he received a letter in the mail from a girl in Japan. The first few lines of the song are exactly her letter, word for word. The lyrics are weird and frankly a little disturbing. But isn't it true that men become obsessive and a little odd about women? Later in his career, Cuomo grew away from personalized lyrics because he felt no one could relate to them....this was his first step towards the darkside.

Anyway, back to the lyrics. When I first heard the song in 96', the lyrics kept the song from "clicking" with me. I liked it, but it wasn't one of my all-time favorites.

A few years later, I was riding the stationary bike at the gym when the song came on. Suddenly the skies parted and as I pedaled I could finally discern the details behind all the noise. I could hear the aching of my own voice. I "got" it!

I was in a "relationship" where I was emotionally and geographically apart from my love interest. I wanted to scream, "Why are you so far apart from me?" I was longing for someone who might as well have been across the sea. I felt that even if I could touch her again, it wouldn't be right. For Rivers it was an innocent teen, a world away in Japan. This idealized version of love promised an end to both of our somewhat self-induced loneliness (I'm happy to report my "someone" was "of legal age" at the time!).

My lost relationship seemed out of reach and what I missed most were the little things, “words and dreams and million screams, oh, how I need a hand in mine to feel!" Due to what seemed a cruel or meaningless fate at the time, I was left alone – to wait and to remember. Even after my little soap opera escapade ended, the power of the song remained.

Our interpretations, our narratives are what keep songs as close to “alive” as an art object can be. But even this can fade. When I listen to the song today, I don't dwell on the details of my past. That aspect of the song is dead to me....

The song still remains alive because it expresses an even more universal feeling, the feeling of "Why me?" I'm secure enough in my masculinity (and I'm no emo guy either) that sometimes, when I'm in the right mood and I'm really listening - I still tear up a little listening to this song. "Across the Sea" poignantly shows the beauty behind suffering and longing.



By the way, the title of this blog entry implies there might be a part two - don't count on it, it's more a less a play on a later weezer song....