A Poem About Popeye

I have things I have to do, I have updates to give you, a random person on the internet (or more likely it's just me in the future reading this). 

That said, here's a poem I wrote a few months ago:

Popeye Determines to Overcome his Midlife Crisis After Reading a Book About Buddhism  

As the third panel comes, I wait for the joke,

But it’s just Bluto waiting to fuck me up.

I run towards the spinach to save the day

but I never seem to remember just why I’m running or why. 

“I am what I am, and that's all that I am”

But the truth is, I don’t know what I am.

I think I am done with this.

There aren’t enough panels for “what I am”.  

There are so many 

terrible/wonderful/beautiful/mysterious 

panels left to find out. 

The self is an illusion, 

I am done lying.  

Fun With My Scanner: Casper: Grown Up

Working on a update of fragments. Also thinking about finishing up my Peru trip blogs (just thinking about it though, so don't get too excited).

In the meantime, I was scanning some personal ephemera and documents and came across this little gem. It dates from 1996 or 1997. I drew this picture in church of all places and passed it to my friend nearby who wrote the note at the top of the page.  For those scoring at home, Casper is sporting a "666" on his forehead and his t-shirt reads "Pervert".

Now, on the surface, it's just a silly little drawing.  Ok, it's stupid, but I was 19 or 20, ya know.

What turned this from a throw-away to a keepsake is who wrote back to me. 

It was from my friend, Mikey who passed away a few years after this was written. Isn't it funny how something so meaningless can turn into a treasure? I don't have many notes from Mikey so everything I have from her is precious to me.  A simply piece of paper that was seemingly destined for the trash but somehow rescued and now it "lives" on a bit longer than expected.

This brings me to the idea of changefulness. Buddhists would call it maya; that is, everything is an illusion. Most especially time and the temporary things we fill it with. I know this all too well. Everything is ephemeral, nothing is permanent.  And that's another one of those facts about the universe I am still struggling to understand and cope with. 

Comparatively speaking from the cosmological scale, I am a sentient piece of dust on a slightly larger dust ball floating in this massive soup of galaxies.  Everything we come in contact with today or tomorrow will cease to exist. Including this world and the star it orbits. I understand that's a long way off but still, major bummer.

I'm not Buddhist, but I get the whole non-attachment thing. I get it so well, I don't want to embrace it. I don't want to get rid of my attachments (clinging or non-clinging, even if it does create suffering).  I follow a Vicktor Frankel/Camus/Agnostic-Theist, eventually Christian position on the universe (at least I am trying) so, I have to make due with what I am and what I do have (even if it is temporary).

 In the meantime,  I hold onto my silly little things, treasuring my ephemeral existence surrounded by temporary objects, smiling back on all the eventually forgotten memories. Hey, at least it will get you a cheap laugh from time to time.

State of Mind

Sometimes I feel worn out.  The kids are in bed. The dishes aren't done but I am.

I don't mean just physically but mentally and spiritually. Lately, my spiritual life feels like I am running in place in one of those huge hamster wheels.

My actions show that I feel like God doesn't mind if I miss a prayer (or two or three or four). I feel disconnected from it all. This life has ups and downs and all arounds, and right now I'm in one of those ruts.

Frequently, I find my mind wandering to the future, never satisfying with what's right in front of me. Too busy to just be. Many people would be surprised to hear me say that because I am "in the moment" for most of my life. This is true for sometimes in moments with my children I am almost brought to tears of joy or beauty. When I am alone though, my mind betrays me.

The truth is, the future isn't better. The future might not exist at all. Now is better than the past and the future. It's all we have. The plans I make are just preparation. They should not be a substitute for living. If you are familiar with the Buddhist concept of mindfulness you know I just cribbed all that from my little bucket of Buddhist knowledge.

God, help me to see what's right in front of me.

I wanted to litter this little post with quotes from the Buddha and scripture and add a cute picture or two but it would just be for my pride's sake and plus, it's getting late.

Being mindful will help me be open to being closer to who God wants me to be. When I do pray, here's what I pray for.

Faith
Patience
Love of others especially my enemies
For the poor and helpless
To help those in need
Those in conflict areas of the world
For the scared and sick
To be a servant of others
All these characteristics to be in myself and family
To be where God wants us to be.

Fragments Here, There and Everywhere

Talking about Buddhism in class today, I was discussing "healthy" attachments and "unhealthy" attachments, which led me to a discussion on stalkers. I fell into my odd habit of taking the voice of point of view I am talking about, (in this case "I know she loves me, if only she can understand how much I love her", etc.)  this led my students to laugh and made me remark that I might be performing my bit "a little too convincingly". I did note I thought every guy in the class had at least driven by someone's house after a breakup at least once. I said anyone who hasn't just "isn't romantic" - which someone said that that might be considered creepy, of which I replied the line between creepy and romantic is a very thin one.

Days like today remind me why I love teaching. I felt "on" like I haven't in a long time.

Thinking about why God created humans and thinking about why I had children...are there similarities?

Quickly read through two books the past week - The Crescent Through the Eyes of the Cross and the graphic novel, Persepolis. The first not too shabby - and in the context of evangelist Christian books - it's amazing. The author is a Arab Christian and he treats Islam with respect and dignity (that it deserves)  while also having a distinct Christian point of view. Wasn't sure if I was going to learn something about Islam but I did.


Persepolis was great - couldn't put it down - I will have to check out part two soon. I was interested in assigning this in my Intro to Humanities class or a Eastern Cultures class but I don't think it has enough on Iran or on Islam in the book...but highly recommended for graphic novel folks.

Hunger Banquet tomorrow...need my beauty rest. G'night to all.

Spiritual Masters; or The Dao of Yoda, Jesus and Buddha

The converging and diverging aspects of world religions fascinate me. I imagine when it's all said and done, I'll have quite few posts centered on comparing and contrasting aspects of the many belief systems. With this post I wanted to explore the idea of a spiritual master. The idea of a spiritual master (better known as a guru) is a Hindu, or more broadly, an Eastern concept. While those in the west might not be familiar with the terms, I believe we are more comfortable with the concept than we think. All spiritual masters have much to offer the world and use a familiar pedagogy.

A guru acts as a conduit to the divine for his followers and are thought to literally exude divine energy. Many believers claim they are overcome with feelings of love or peace just in the presence of these spiritual masters. Because of this fact many Hindu guru's are pampered and treated seemingly god-like. From the outside looking in, it might look like a cult of personality. I've witnessed the pedestal treatment personally and it made me feel, well, icky.

The whole washing feet with the hair - kinda "icky" am I right?

Jesus and Buddha were recognized as spiritual masters in their own life times and even after their deaths.  Their followers still seek their wisdom and guidance.

In contrast with the concept of seeking help from a spiritual master is America's emphasis on the individual. We believe humans don't need a "conduit" to the divine. Our belief systems tend to be egalitarian. We like to think, "You're no closer to God than I am". I am intrigued by the idea of spiritual masters because they challenge the idea that we can figure it out intuitively on our own.

Recently when thinking about spiritual masters, my mind instantly thought of one of America's most influential spiritual figures, Yoda.

The iconic image. 

This post will ignore any possible existence of a Yoda after 1985. I will be in denial for the rest of my life.

I don't think it was a simple coincidence that I was baptized after a sermon that used clips from The Empire Strikes Back with scenes that featured Yoda. George Lucas was well versed in Joseph Campbell and Eastern religion traditions...but Yoda transcends his creator's interests.  Yoda (at least pre-prequels) influenced a whole generation with his wisdom.

Using Jesus and Buddha as contrasts; I want to show that Yoda exhibits all the qualities of a successful guru. I don't mean to say that all their messages are the same (because they aren't). I want to show that their teachings share a commonality in their pedagogy and approach.

Spiritual Masters Clarify and Simplify

I think our natural tendency is to complicate things - we build up rules, regulations, rituals, traditions, definitions, etc. We create a theology that helps us "box in" the divine. In a positive sense, these constructs help us understand and think through the idea of "god" but on the other hand they also limit our understanding about what "god" is. Gurus do the opposite - they help illustrate eternal truths.

Buddha: " Hatred is never appeased by hatred in this world. By non-hatred alone is hatred appeased. This is a law eternal"

Jesus: "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"

Yoda: "You must unlearn what you have learned...there is no try; do or do not"

This is just the kinda of depiction Buddha would hate; but it's the INTERWEBZ, so the heck with it.... 

Spiritual Masters Believe the Power of the Ultimate is Accessible

Being "spiritual" is difficult for me. I was raised with the idea that God was "up in heaven". While I might have sung a song about God "living" in my heart - I definitely felt separate from the divine. Spiritual Masters reveal that the Ultimate reality is accessible for all - anywhere. Guru's realize the first step in your journey isn't to become educated, initiated or even holy - the first step is to be aware that right here, right now it is possible to recognize and participate in the truth.

Buddha: "Therefore....be lamps unto yourselves. Rely on yourselves, and do not rely on external help".

Jesus: "Once, having been asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God would come, Jesus replied, "The kingdom of God does not come with your careful observation, nor will people say, 'Here it is,' or 'There it is,' because the kingdom of God is within you."

Yoda: "(The Force's) energy surrounds us and binds us....You must feel the Force around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere, yes...."

Spiritual Masters Teach Non-Retaliation and Non-Aggression

Alright, so I said I was focused on pedagogy - I changed my mind mid-stream...so sue me. This theme happens to resonate with me. In the last 3-4 years I began to try to approach life with a peaceful, non-violent attitude. I find this supremely ironic because as a child I was the first to respond or  retaliate.I relished my revenge fantasies and even hatched successful revenge plots.  I was known in my circle of friends as a "hot-head" and have a list of stories about my lack of non-aggression. Thankfully, time, study and my spiritual life has helped mellow me.  This was the journey I had to take.  All spiritual teachers worthy of any study must address conflict in this manner. I'm sure I'll have more to post on this subject someday.

Buddha: "All tremble at violence. All fear death. Seeing one's self in others, one should neither strike nor cause to strike."

Jesus: "You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth. But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles..."

Yoda: "...Beware...Anger, fear, aggression. The dark side are they. Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny."

Personally, I gotta go with the North Koreans; they sure have it coming...

Detaching from the Spurs: Or How Buddhism Helped Me Ignore My Favorite Sports Team

One of the central tenets of Buddhism is it's belief that our suffering in life is caused by attachments. For example, you're attached to the idea of your car starting in the morning and when it doesn't - you suffer. The first step to removing suffering is to recognize suffering can be removed...(for those wondering these are the second and third "Noble Truths" of Buddhism).

Obligatory picture of the Buddha chilling

I came into this NBA season with high hopes. The Spurs looked to me (on paper at least) to be one of the 2-4 teams that could win the title. Boy, was I wrong....(maybe). Their big off season move (obtaining Jefferson for spare change) was a dud. Their improvements in offense was off set by poor defense. Of course there were a few injuries as well. Finally, they would follow up huge wins with inexplicable losses to terrible teams. Needless to say, they were probably pretty frustrating to watch this year.

I honestly wouldn't know though because I stopped watching after the second game.

I think I caught the 4th quarter of 2-3 additional games. That's it. That's all I watched. This is coming from the guy who actually bought the 12 disc "Spurs Dynasty" DVD set (yes, it's cool, and yes, it should have been put together better).

It's not like I purposely set out to detach...I just grew away from it all. We don't have cable, so most of the time it was easy to forget about the NBA almost entirely. I would catch highlights and read the paper but that was about it. Just going with the flow....

As the year has winded down, the Spurs improved, letting in small rays of hope around the Spurs Nation. Surprisingly, Hollinger (over at ESPN) has the spurs ranked #2 due to their point differential. Maybe somewhere in the dark corners of my heart I felt it too, but it wasn't the same....I had detached.

My fandom has given me years of pleasure, but more often than not, it has given me pain. I can never forget the adolescent heartbreak of 91', the crushing conference final slap down in 95' or the beat downs administered by the Lakers in 01' & 02'. Need I mention the worst of the worst? No, real fans know what I speak of.

The Buddha had it right....it's easier just to let go.

So, I sit typing on the eve of the NBA playoffs....feeling calm, serene and pleased to know that sports, while a fun distraction, are not important in the big scheme of things.

Of course, if they beat the Mavs - I'll have to rethink that whole attachment thing again.