Hey poem lovers!
I haven't posted an old poem here in a good long while. I was digging around in my old favorite poetry book and here's a poem I still quite like. I am pretty sure this was written late in college, trying to inspire myself to do something with my life. Because I can basically never stop (Excuse me, I suffer from GLS - George Lucas Syndrome)...I just added a few lines to make it "better".
and if they try to frighten me with tales of woe,
so be it I say,
for it is better to have lived
than to walk amongst the dead.
and if I fall and fail,
so be it I say,
for it is better to have fallen
than to be scared away.
and if they tell me I will learn to regret and only turn grey,
so be it I say,
for it is better to hope even if you've lost your way.
It's kinda got all my hallmarks...and honestly, there's still in my writing style today... it's a heart-on-my-sleeve, simple and, well, adolescent in outlook.
It just happens that way. I wish I could be deep, smart and moody (I'm just that way in real life).
Cheers to all of you in the nether-world of the internet, may this good will wishing find you well and may you day be easy and warm.
Tuesday, February 11, 2020
Wednesday, January 15, 2020
Fresh Start Fragments
It's been a good while since I've caught up with my imaginary readers on this crazy thing called life, here's the latest.
Yeah, we finally moved and all went well. It still feels like someone took all our stuff and we live in someone else's house. It will take awhile to feel like home. I have driven back into the old neighborhood on accident a few times and reach for a string for the closest light that is no longer there. Still, I like the new house. We got some space now and we ordered a foosball table. Oh yeah. That's a dream come true.
We were driving to dinner out one night and as we passed a sea food place, I was like, "Hey, how about sea food?" and H, our 7 year-old said, "Oh, I hate sea food, except fish, I love fish".
Here's some more kid updates:
C is in 8th grade and amazes me all the time with her humor and heart. She's so talented at playing flute and she's always working on a novel.
E is in 5th grade and getting too old. I love being weird with her, tonight I told her that when you meet someone with the same name as you, you exchange boogers and place their boogers in your nose. She didn't believe me. She's doing great in ballet and is in musical revue at the church theater this spring.
H had a hard time adjusting to the new house but is doing better now. He's loving our new neighborhood is full of boys and having fun playing outside. He's getting obsessed with football, but he knows he is not playing in middle school or high school. We're getting a Switch soon and I am very excited.
I started binging The Twilight Zone on Hulu (yes, the originals from the 60's). So good and weird and sometimes cheesy. Maybe I'll post my top ten when I'm done. Don't hold your breath.
Lots of excited stuff going on at work but I can't really share it here as I would prefer to remain as anonymous as possible (ya know, just in case some creeper is looking for me, still pretty sure if someone was actually motivated, you could figure out who I am).
Finally, I just realized in April, I will enter my tenth year of blogging. That's nuts. I'll list my favorite posts and have a proper retrospective when the time comes.
That's all for now, kids. Don't forget to double-knot your shoes and drink plenty of water.
Yeah, we finally moved and all went well. It still feels like someone took all our stuff and we live in someone else's house. It will take awhile to feel like home. I have driven back into the old neighborhood on accident a few times and reach for a string for the closest light that is no longer there. Still, I like the new house. We got some space now and we ordered a foosball table. Oh yeah. That's a dream come true.
We were driving to dinner out one night and as we passed a sea food place, I was like, "Hey, how about sea food?" and H, our 7 year-old said, "Oh, I hate sea food, except fish, I love fish".
Here's some more kid updates:
C is in 8th grade and amazes me all the time with her humor and heart. She's so talented at playing flute and she's always working on a novel.
E is in 5th grade and getting too old. I love being weird with her, tonight I told her that when you meet someone with the same name as you, you exchange boogers and place their boogers in your nose. She didn't believe me. She's doing great in ballet and is in musical revue at the church theater this spring.
H had a hard time adjusting to the new house but is doing better now. He's loving our new neighborhood is full of boys and having fun playing outside. He's getting obsessed with football, but he knows he is not playing in middle school or high school. We're getting a Switch soon and I am very excited.
I started binging The Twilight Zone on Hulu (yes, the originals from the 60's). So good and weird and sometimes cheesy. Maybe I'll post my top ten when I'm done. Don't hold your breath.
Lots of excited stuff going on at work but I can't really share it here as I would prefer to remain as anonymous as possible (ya know, just in case some creeper is looking for me, still pretty sure if someone was actually motivated, you could figure out who I am).
Finally, I just realized in April, I will enter my tenth year of blogging. That's nuts. I'll list my favorite posts and have a proper retrospective when the time comes.
That's all for now, kids. Don't forget to double-knot your shoes and drink plenty of water.
Tuesday, January 14, 2020
Poem For My Children
Advice is a dangerous thing. It's usually given for free and circumstances and individuals can vary wildly, rendering given advice useless.
Anyhoot, I am throwing caution to the wind. The poem came to me in two separate pieces over a 48 hour period. It might be a little smug and cloying but it comes from the right place, I hadn’t intended for it to be written for anyone in particular but it became “advice-cy” driven and halfway through, I knew what it was.
As always, your mileage may vary.
Anyhoot, I am throwing caution to the wind. The poem came to me in two separate pieces over a 48 hour period. It might be a little smug and cloying but it comes from the right place, I hadn’t intended for it to be written for anyone in particular but it became “advice-cy” driven and halfway through, I knew what it was.
As always, your mileage may vary.
For My Children
When the world calls out, with her sirens calling,
hold tight and laugh at her insignificance.
This meaningless piece of dirt has nothing on you.
When money whips you with its displeasure,
smile at its weakness, for all it can buy is future trash.
When the red tide comes in, give it the finger,
because there is good in this world and it’s easy to miss.
The chemicals buzzing in that brain of yours are as real as love,
as real as you and me.
Reality might be twisted in knots and puzzles,
but its mazes have their own rewards.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve found my way out,
so I admit, I’ve been lost more times than I can count.
I can’t tell you how to live with the knowledge of your impending death,
only that you must balance knowing you will die with living fully until that time.
If you wonder why things are the way they are, then you’re on the right track,
and if you know it’s better to be kind than right then I tip my hat.
My children, I only wish for sunlight on your days and moonlight on your nights.
May you dream with your eyes open and sleep with your hearts held tight.
Sunday, December 15, 2019
All That's Old is New Fragments
The fall is fading behind us and winter is now upon us.
Here in South Texas that doesn't mean much, except sometimes it gets kinda cloudy for 4 days in a row and a little cold and then we're back in the 70's or 80's for four more days.
Still, it's in the air and the holidays are here too. The lights, the excitement of the children, the holiday parties and the general bustling about of everyone as you travel around town. I like its distinctness from the rest of the year.
Here's some Fragments (some of them on the holiday season):
Ya know what my holiday promise is? I'm gonna make me some homemade Chex mix. Ya know, legit, Chex mix. I haven't had any in years.
I always liked holiday decorations. The fam and I put them out the day after Thanksgiving, I'm lazy so the whole idea is if you're gonna bother with this stuff, it might as well stay up for a good long while. It typically stays up until Ethiopian Christmas (1/07) - this year we are are set to move after 12/30, so its coming down early....but next year, we'll be back on regular schedule.
We lost our Elf on the Shelf this year. Holy Holiday Meatballs. I'm 93% sure it's my fault...it wasn't where I typically put it. The younger kids were really confused, but my sister let us borrow hers. I told the kids our Elf was had been pregnant and just had a baby. They didn't believe me, in fact my youngest already has really strong doubts about the whole Santa thing already (and did last year when he was six).
Oh yeah, looks like we're moving, just a little down the road. Good times. When I type "Good times" what I mean by that is that I hate the moving process and hope we don't move again for another 14 and a half years.
Coming soon: Our First Home Fragments. Are you excited yet?
Old White Man Pop Culture Fragments
The new Beck album is really great. I could never get into the last few album's despite their critical acclaim...so this was a welcome surprise. Here's a track I particularly love:
Finished up Man in the High Castle....it's good. Never understood why it had such low viewership while other stuff I think is okay/boring/etc. is the bee's knees. ?
Watching The Mandolarian. It's okay. Sci-Fi Fluff. It's nice to watch instead of doing housework.
That's it, I'm done. Don't forget to reward yourself with a long hot shower every so often. Good night all.
Here in South Texas that doesn't mean much, except sometimes it gets kinda cloudy for 4 days in a row and a little cold and then we're back in the 70's or 80's for four more days.
Still, it's in the air and the holidays are here too. The lights, the excitement of the children, the holiday parties and the general bustling about of everyone as you travel around town. I like its distinctness from the rest of the year.
Here's some Fragments (some of them on the holiday season):
Ya know what my holiday promise is? I'm gonna make me some homemade Chex mix. Ya know, legit, Chex mix. I haven't had any in years.
I always liked holiday decorations. The fam and I put them out the day after Thanksgiving, I'm lazy so the whole idea is if you're gonna bother with this stuff, it might as well stay up for a good long while. It typically stays up until Ethiopian Christmas (1/07) - this year we are are set to move after 12/30, so its coming down early....but next year, we'll be back on regular schedule.
We lost our Elf on the Shelf this year. Holy Holiday Meatballs. I'm 93% sure it's my fault...it wasn't where I typically put it. The younger kids were really confused, but my sister let us borrow hers. I told the kids our Elf was had been pregnant and just had a baby. They didn't believe me, in fact my youngest already has really strong doubts about the whole Santa thing already (and did last year when he was six).
Oh yeah, looks like we're moving, just a little down the road. Good times. When I type "Good times" what I mean by that is that I hate the moving process and hope we don't move again for another 14 and a half years.
Coming soon: Our First Home Fragments. Are you excited yet?
Old White Man Pop Culture Fragments
The new Beck album is really great. I could never get into the last few album's despite their critical acclaim...so this was a welcome surprise. Here's a track I particularly love:
Finished up Man in the High Castle....it's good. Never understood why it had such low viewership while other stuff I think is okay/boring/etc. is the bee's knees. ?
Watching The Mandolarian. It's okay. Sci-Fi Fluff. It's nice to watch instead of doing housework.
That's it, I'm done. Don't forget to reward yourself with a long hot shower every so often. Good night all.
Sunday, November 10, 2019
Warm & Cozy Again (Why I love Lord of the Rings)
Well, I'm back.
Back to reading The Lord of the Rings once again. I've read this book at least twelve times, more than any other book....and yet when I started to read it earlier this week, I still got a little excited.
Usually when I start reading The Lord of the Ring (LOR), it's usually the fall or winter. After all, it's a cold weather book. At least it feels that way to me. In the last decade or so, I usually wait about 2-3 years between readings after another decade or so of usually reading it once a year. I like to wait until the first real cold front of the season to begin. Most of the book is read late at night, next to a warm lamp, covered up cozily in bed. I usually read as long as I can until I drift off to sleep, sometimes with the book on my chest.
Just typing those words makes me happy.
With each re-read I deliberately read slowly, taking my time with the Tolkien's (at times) overly descriptive text. It's a slow book and I love it that way. I especially adore the beginning of the book and by the end of the book (yes, of course the appendix, too) I'll be glum at the thought of being finished. Usually what this means is that I will re-read a whole host of other Tolkien stuff, of course, The Hobbit, Unfinished Tales, sometimes referencing back to the something in the appendix of LOR and last time around I re-read The Children of Hurin and then, almost sputtering out of Tolkien overload, I usually break down somewhere in The Silmarillion and stop. Now you know why I do this only every 2-3 years...it becomes all engrossing.
The first time I read LOR, it was the late summer of 2001. I had heard the the movie was coming out that winter and I felt like I ought to see what all the hype was about. I heard it was boring, but it didn't deter me. I picked up The Hobbit first, not knowing what to expect. I was charmed after reading the first page. It felt like you were taken right into the fairy tale world and it just felt, safe, safe and homely.
After a few more weeks, I purchased a paperback version of LOR and while I was on the edge of my seat reading about the Black Riders, after Rivendell, the narrative seemed to slow down and I was a little frustrated. Then, I had a huge car accident that I was lucky to survive. My copy of LOR had been in my truck and it tumbled and flipped across the road just as much as my truck did. It was destroyed.
I was happy to be alive and being in graduate school, I was also extremely busy, so I did not immediately pick up a new copy. However, my best friend's mom was a huge Tolkien fan and she had found out that my copy had been destroyed in the accident and bought me another copy as a gift. It inspired me to finish it before the first movie came out. I still have this paperback version today and although some of the appendix is falling out, I feel like this little edition and I have a long history together. One day, it may fall apart on me, but until then, we're sticking together.
For me, The Lord of the Rings isn't just about the way it makes me feel, but the way it brings you into an almost fully formed world. An alien world that is just out of reach, and yet fully touchable. At times the narrative gets unwieldy, but it doesn't let you go. Some characters feel flat and fairy tale like, but others real and grounded. A mix of the a fantasy and at times not quite a real world (or maybe as the world should be). It's philosophical and a bit dry, other times it reads as a history narrative and other times, it's downright funny while other parts of the book are pure adventure...but it is always thoughtful and always detailed. Don't get me wrong, it has its flaws.
The most important flaw being Tolkien's use of race and 20th century "race theory" in the book. It's used to describe the differences between the "races" (elves, hobbits, humans, etc.) and even more disturbingly between the human cultures. It's sad and enraging and yet, it doesn't make me stop reading the book. Tolkien was a man of his times, he was ignorant but not quite a bigot. It reminds me the way I feel about Carl Barks. I'm conflicted and yet drawn to their art. Maybe I'm letting them both off the hook too easily but this is a debate for another time....
This fall or winter we may be moving and so I felt a strong need to be grounded and closer to a feeling of "home" more than ever. I'm glad I'm back once again for the ride.
Update from 2020: I ended up reading the Annotated The Hobbit, which is great but all my other Tolkien stuff is stuck at work because of the Pandemic (it's at work because of the move). To be honest, I have my Tolkien fill and I'll be ready for more in a couple of years.
Back to reading The Lord of the Rings once again. I've read this book at least twelve times, more than any other book....and yet when I started to read it earlier this week, I still got a little excited.
Usually when I start reading The Lord of the Ring (LOR), it's usually the fall or winter. After all, it's a cold weather book. At least it feels that way to me. In the last decade or so, I usually wait about 2-3 years between readings after another decade or so of usually reading it once a year. I like to wait until the first real cold front of the season to begin. Most of the book is read late at night, next to a warm lamp, covered up cozily in bed. I usually read as long as I can until I drift off to sleep, sometimes with the book on my chest.
Just typing those words makes me happy.
With each re-read I deliberately read slowly, taking my time with the Tolkien's (at times) overly descriptive text. It's a slow book and I love it that way. I especially adore the beginning of the book and by the end of the book (yes, of course the appendix, too) I'll be glum at the thought of being finished. Usually what this means is that I will re-read a whole host of other Tolkien stuff, of course, The Hobbit, Unfinished Tales, sometimes referencing back to the something in the appendix of LOR and last time around I re-read The Children of Hurin and then, almost sputtering out of Tolkien overload, I usually break down somewhere in The Silmarillion and stop. Now you know why I do this only every 2-3 years...it becomes all engrossing.
The first time I read LOR, it was the late summer of 2001. I had heard the the movie was coming out that winter and I felt like I ought to see what all the hype was about. I heard it was boring, but it didn't deter me. I picked up The Hobbit first, not knowing what to expect. I was charmed after reading the first page. It felt like you were taken right into the fairy tale world and it just felt, safe, safe and homely.
After a few more weeks, I purchased a paperback version of LOR and while I was on the edge of my seat reading about the Black Riders, after Rivendell, the narrative seemed to slow down and I was a little frustrated. Then, I had a huge car accident that I was lucky to survive. My copy of LOR had been in my truck and it tumbled and flipped across the road just as much as my truck did. It was destroyed.
I was happy to be alive and being in graduate school, I was also extremely busy, so I did not immediately pick up a new copy. However, my best friend's mom was a huge Tolkien fan and she had found out that my copy had been destroyed in the accident and bought me another copy as a gift. It inspired me to finish it before the first movie came out. I still have this paperback version today and although some of the appendix is falling out, I feel like this little edition and I have a long history together. One day, it may fall apart on me, but until then, we're sticking together.
For me, The Lord of the Rings isn't just about the way it makes me feel, but the way it brings you into an almost fully formed world. An alien world that is just out of reach, and yet fully touchable. At times the narrative gets unwieldy, but it doesn't let you go. Some characters feel flat and fairy tale like, but others real and grounded. A mix of the a fantasy and at times not quite a real world (or maybe as the world should be). It's philosophical and a bit dry, other times it reads as a history narrative and other times, it's downright funny while other parts of the book are pure adventure...but it is always thoughtful and always detailed. Don't get me wrong, it has its flaws.
The most important flaw being Tolkien's use of race and 20th century "race theory" in the book. It's used to describe the differences between the "races" (elves, hobbits, humans, etc.) and even more disturbingly between the human cultures. It's sad and enraging and yet, it doesn't make me stop reading the book. Tolkien was a man of his times, he was ignorant but not quite a bigot. It reminds me the way I feel about Carl Barks. I'm conflicted and yet drawn to their art. Maybe I'm letting them both off the hook too easily but this is a debate for another time....
This fall or winter we may be moving and so I felt a strong need to be grounded and closer to a feeling of "home" more than ever. I'm glad I'm back once again for the ride.
Update from 2020: I ended up reading the Annotated The Hobbit, which is great but all my other Tolkien stuff is stuck at work because of the Pandemic (it's at work because of the move). To be honest, I have my Tolkien fill and I'll be ready for more in a couple of years.
Tuesday, October 22, 2019
Pic Dump: Leftovers
Here's some leftover pics I had saved on my phone. Enjoy, or don't. See if I care, cause I don't care. I really don't. I actually kinda do hope you enjoy these.
Friday, October 11, 2019
Neglectful Fragments
I've been a bit neglectful on the blog. I would apologize, but there's no one to apologize to. I came down from a busy summer to (surprise) a busy fall.
I've started a few blog posts but never finished them. Some abandoned ideas that might come back: Ranking Spurs Championships, Ranking my favorite Nirvana songs, discussing the insanity of cartoon teeth (this is the one most likely to be written).
I'm in another community play but this time it will be my last one for awhile. It's "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest". I play Dr. Spivey. It opens this weekend and we have four shows. It's been great because it's not too big of a role as far as lines. Plays tend to eat your life, even in smaller roles, they take up time for rehearsal (weekends!), head space, thought space and your mind is always thinking "don't forget your lines!". I have a lot of acting with my face on stage when I'm not speaking, so that's been an interesting challenge, it's also been nice to work on a drama instead of a musical or comedy.
We've been getting our house ready to move, it's kinda awful, but we're confident showing the house well can net us an additional 10K. It's a seller's market down here, so even though it's fall...hopefully it can sell quickly.
Being a father will be the hardest and best thing I ever do but damn, it's tough.
We went to the beach a few weeks back...and...even though I hate beaches, it wasn't too bad. It was cloudy on the day we went too and that made me happy.
I often get random ideas to blog about but my motivation isn't what it used to be with the move and the play. Then, there's YouTube and I've been playing my SNES mini lately too.
Maybe one day it will return....or not. Even still, I have pretty much decided this blog is part of my life, for my life. (Distant cheers). It's just something I will turn to from time to time, a little scrapbook for my life. In the meantime, bake some cookies to make your house smell good and take a walk outside to feel the fall.
I've started a few blog posts but never finished them. Some abandoned ideas that might come back: Ranking Spurs Championships, Ranking my favorite Nirvana songs, discussing the insanity of cartoon teeth (this is the one most likely to be written).
I'm in another community play but this time it will be my last one for awhile. It's "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest". I play Dr. Spivey. It opens this weekend and we have four shows. It's been great because it's not too big of a role as far as lines. Plays tend to eat your life, even in smaller roles, they take up time for rehearsal (weekends!), head space, thought space and your mind is always thinking "don't forget your lines!". I have a lot of acting with my face on stage when I'm not speaking, so that's been an interesting challenge, it's also been nice to work on a drama instead of a musical or comedy.
We've been getting our house ready to move, it's kinda awful, but we're confident showing the house well can net us an additional 10K. It's a seller's market down here, so even though it's fall...hopefully it can sell quickly.
Being a father will be the hardest and best thing I ever do but damn, it's tough.
We went to the beach a few weeks back...and...even though I hate beaches, it wasn't too bad. It was cloudy on the day we went too and that made me happy.
I often get random ideas to blog about but my motivation isn't what it used to be with the move and the play. Then, there's YouTube and I've been playing my SNES mini lately too.
Maybe one day it will return....or not. Even still, I have pretty much decided this blog is part of my life, for my life. (Distant cheers). It's just something I will turn to from time to time, a little scrapbook for my life. In the meantime, bake some cookies to make your house smell good and take a walk outside to feel the fall.
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