Been awhile since I ya know, posted fragments.
Well, it finally happened. We received a referral call on June 28th, and quickly had our court date in Ethiopia on 7/23. It was awesome. So we are the proud parents of a little 4 month old boy. We will go back in 4-7 weeks to bring him home. Wrote a journal while away, and I will write about this at some point (ya know - international adoption, our adoption, our trip, etc. etc.)
On the list of things I love about the summer: cherries.
My wife and kids will be going far away for about 12 days. I am busily mentally preparing for what exactly I am going to do with myself. Personal freedom to do exactly what you want, when you want is hard concept to grasp once you haven't had for awhile. It will be strange.
Another thing I love about summer: Summer Classes, I had three classes this summer, and all three have been great. I love the students I've had. It's been a very enjoyable experience. They almost fool me into thinking I'm a good teacher.
Blog Ideas: China Fragments (about our 2004 trip), Ethiopia Fragments (see above), Jesus as Liberal and Conservative, Hinduism post, maybe, just maybe another Weezer post about a song of theirs I love, etc. I hope to get to some of these when my family is out of town. BOOK IT - August will be my most productive bog month EVAR. (well, at least I hope so).
2012 is more than halfway over...(crazy thought)....and it's been a slow reading year so far. I haven't felt that reading rush I usually get. I've taken it pretty slow and had some research mid-semester in the spring. Then, with our referral, there has been a dearth of adoption and Ethiopian reading. All this is to say I still need to finish one two more books before the school year begins to get back on track. I think I can do it!
Tons of reading on Islam and Christianity during the Middle Ages and ancient China philosophies (Confucianism, Daoism, Legalism and a little bit of Mencius thrown in there as well). Scattered research online and at the campus library, including large swaths of an anti-Islamic book I picked up for three bucks (The Legacy of Jihad - Bostom) that was primarily only primary sources so it was pretty damning. Let's be honest though, I could put together an anti-Christian book using sources from the same time period.The whole process was very enlightening and fun...I do enjoy mini-projects like that.
Here's the rest of the list (no authors unless I can remember off the top of my head, I'm too lazy).
Stories with Intent: A Comprehensive Gide to the Parables of Jesus - Wow. Amazing stuff if you're serious and ready for a long, academic but productive read.
Renting Lacy - Hit me like a ton of bricks, human trafficking is not easy to read about.
Dream Team - light reading for our trip. Enjoyable, but didn't agree with some of his "takes" at the end (little too reverential for my taste).
What the Bible Really Says about Homosexuality - Concise, well done, even though I think he undermines his strong points by making some completely unnecessary claims.
Adam, Eve and the Serpent - Pagels - Pretty good.
Lots of 80's Comics - especially Excalibur, Kazar, etc. big sale at the nearby used book store some for a quarter.
Essential Marvel X-Men # 3 - my first real foray into 80's X-Men (it was on sale) -- will do it again.
Currently Reading: Currently reading biography of Gandhi - so far, so good, The Kingdom of God is Within You (Tolstoy) and re-reading The Hobbit (wanted to wait until the fall but I am just too geared up for the movies!!!)
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Friday, July 27, 2012
Poetry Post: Moonlight
I discovered Li Bai and other Chinese poets sometime in 2004-2005 - I wrote this and then realized that I had ripped them off.
moonlight
my window blinds split the moonlight
into strips onto my legs
i lay warmed
by its pale blue light
happy in this solitude.
moonlight
my window blinds split the moonlight
into strips onto my legs
i lay warmed
by its pale blue light
happy in this solitude.
Saturday, July 7, 2012
The Pleasure and Joy of Alienation
If there's a feeling universal in adolescence - it's alienation. You feel it deep in your gut - you don't fit in. No one understands you. You're different.
Like many teenage males, I felt this way most of my adolescence. It became my normal. If I had known any better (and I was too much of an dillweed to have any good musical taste at the time) - I would have loved, absolutely loved the Beach Boys' "In My Room".
I command you, listen!
It's one of Brian Wilson's best and when I did discover this song in college, I did fall in love with it. The song is about retreating to one's room, cocooning away from the world to remain safe and secure. Contrast this idea with the later Paul Simon song, "I am a Rock", in which Simon narrates a tale of a self-imposed isolation because of his heart break. Wilson isn't alone because of someone or something that happened - he's alone, (I'm alone) because of who he is (who I am).
This is why the song succeeds so well. Sure, life events happen that can cause direct or further alienation but fundamentally, life is about overcoming alienation. From ourselves, others and God. At some level, to quote from Cobain, "all in all is all we are" - we are alone and have to figure things out that way. Wilson doesn't write as though the room is only a place of despair or sadness (although, where else is a teenage boy going to "do my crying and my sighing"?). His room is a place of comfort, where he can "lock out all my worries and my fears". He can be who he is without judgment.
Still there is a underlying somberness to the tune that can't be ignored.
As I have matured, I've come to terms with being different. Maybe it's me or maybe it's society, but I don't open up with people very often. I have close friends, but not many. I honestly think only two people in this world truly "get me". Maybe that's not that different from everyone else - but somehow there is always something that divides me from my family (politics and lifestyle), church (theology and politics), work (religion), life (everything). Simply put, I feel like an outsider. I'm okay with that too...and I suppose deep down, there's more outsiders than you'd think...
This year Weezer's excellent "Blue Album" turned 18. It was my first "favorite" album. When I bought the album (I had to wait about 8 weeks though Columbia House) - my first favorite song was "Buddy Holly". Then, it rotated to "No One Else", "My Name is Jonas", then it changed to "Say it Ain't So", "Holiday" and "The World Has Turned and Left Me Here", etc. etc. Every few weeks, I would change my mind. I still think this is the one album I wouldn't want to live without. It was the soundtrack to my 1995. I would argue it ranks up there with anything recorded in pop music, although most rock critics would say I am nuts.
No matter, it's a record that is "mine" in every sense of the word. Not only is it filled with catchy hooks and melodic guitar solos but the album is full of songs about...yep, you guessed it, alienation. All I had to do was look at the album cover close up for the first time - just four regular guys. I understood immediately, they were just like me - four dorky white guys.
This brings us to the album's ultimate statement on alienation, "In the Garage" - it's a clear reply to Wilson's "In My Room". If you've come this far, then go a little further and listen:
Rivers Cuomo paints a more detailed picture than Wilson. He's into Dungeons and Dragons ("12-sided die") , comic books ("Kitty Pyde and Nightcrawler ") and KISS (in a time when KISS was the antithesis of grunge music). He's a geek and it's front and center of the song.
It's clear the garage serves a similar purpose as Wilson's room, "it's safe" and "no one cares/laughs about my ways". It is a place hidden from judgement. While the song opens with the sad-souled harmonica and a dirge-like guitar, it won't stay this way. It is a rock song after all, so it packs a little more punch than a somber Beach Boys tune. Lyrically, the song also takes a more Emerson-like outlook:
"I've got an electric guitar
I play my stupid songs
I write these stupid words
And I love every one"
It's unclear if Cuomo thinks of the songs as stupid himself, if he's playing humble or if he's simply stating what he thinks others think of his songs - the point is he loves them. They are his.
Musically, the song builds with each verse, climaxing with a delightful guitar solo and a few rounds of the chorus sung again. It's in this section the background vocals are highlighted (wonderfully sung by the Sass-Master, Brian Bell). The last few lines are sung with conviction and with more oomph than before. It's here the song's feeling and intent becomes clear.
The garage isn't only a place to feel safe. It's embracing your inner-awkwardness. We can rock out in celebration of not fitting in. It doesn't matter what "they" think....the truth is, it's more fun to be yourself.
Like many teenage males, I felt this way most of my adolescence. It became my normal. If I had known any better (and I was too much of an dillweed to have any good musical taste at the time) - I would have loved, absolutely loved the Beach Boys' "In My Room".
I command you, listen!
It's one of Brian Wilson's best and when I did discover this song in college, I did fall in love with it. The song is about retreating to one's room, cocooning away from the world to remain safe and secure. Contrast this idea with the later Paul Simon song, "I am a Rock", in which Simon narrates a tale of a self-imposed isolation because of his heart break. Wilson isn't alone because of someone or something that happened - he's alone, (I'm alone) because of who he is (who I am).
All you have to do is listen to him speak. The guy is a genius, but it's clear he would have a hard time"fitting in" under any circumstances.
This is why the song succeeds so well. Sure, life events happen that can cause direct or further alienation but fundamentally, life is about overcoming alienation. From ourselves, others and God. At some level, to quote from Cobain, "all in all is all we are" - we are alone and have to figure things out that way. Wilson doesn't write as though the room is only a place of despair or sadness (although, where else is a teenage boy going to "do my crying and my sighing"?). His room is a place of comfort, where he can "lock out all my worries and my fears". He can be who he is without judgment.
Still there is a underlying somberness to the tune that can't be ignored.
As I have matured, I've come to terms with being different. Maybe it's me or maybe it's society, but I don't open up with people very often. I have close friends, but not many. I honestly think only two people in this world truly "get me". Maybe that's not that different from everyone else - but somehow there is always something that divides me from my family (politics and lifestyle), church (theology and politics), work (religion), life (everything). Simply put, I feel like an outsider. I'm okay with that too...and I suppose deep down, there's more outsiders than you'd think...
This year Weezer's excellent "Blue Album" turned 18. It was my first "favorite" album. When I bought the album (I had to wait about 8 weeks though Columbia House) - my first favorite song was "Buddy Holly". Then, it rotated to "No One Else", "My Name is Jonas", then it changed to "Say it Ain't So", "Holiday" and "The World Has Turned and Left Me Here", etc. etc. Every few weeks, I would change my mind. I still think this is the one album I wouldn't want to live without. It was the soundtrack to my 1995. I would argue it ranks up there with anything recorded in pop music, although most rock critics would say I am nuts.
No matter, it's a record that is "mine" in every sense of the word. Not only is it filled with catchy hooks and melodic guitar solos but the album is full of songs about...yep, you guessed it, alienation. All I had to do was look at the album cover close up for the first time - just four regular guys. I understood immediately, they were just like me - four dorky white guys.
I rarely watched MTV at the time so for the longest time I thought Brian Bell (far right) was the lead singer.
This brings us to the album's ultimate statement on alienation, "In the Garage" - it's a clear reply to Wilson's "In My Room". If you've come this far, then go a little further and listen:
Rivers Cuomo paints a more detailed picture than Wilson. He's into Dungeons and Dragons ("12-sided die") , comic books ("Kitty Pyde and Nightcrawler ") and KISS (in a time when KISS was the antithesis of grunge music). He's a geek and it's front and center of the song.
It's clear the garage serves a similar purpose as Wilson's room, "it's safe" and "no one cares/laughs about my ways". It is a place hidden from judgement. While the song opens with the sad-souled harmonica and a dirge-like guitar, it won't stay this way. It is a rock song after all, so it packs a little more punch than a somber Beach Boys tune. Lyrically, the song also takes a more Emerson-like outlook:
"I've got an electric guitar
I play my stupid songs
I write these stupid words
And I love every one"
It's unclear if Cuomo thinks of the songs as stupid himself, if he's playing humble or if he's simply stating what he thinks others think of his songs - the point is he loves them. They are his.
Musically, the song builds with each verse, climaxing with a delightful guitar solo and a few rounds of the chorus sung again. It's in this section the background vocals are highlighted (wonderfully sung by the Sass-Master, Brian Bell). The last few lines are sung with conviction and with more oomph than before. It's here the song's feeling and intent becomes clear.
The garage isn't only a place to feel safe. It's embracing your inner-awkwardness. We can rock out in celebration of not fitting in. It doesn't matter what "they" think....the truth is, it's more fun to be yourself.
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Top Summer Memories
I almost just wrote blog post that I already wrote last year. I was just going to write a list off the top of my head about what I "believed". Wow, I'm more redundant than I thought. Well, here's something else.
Top Summer Memories Off The Top of My Head
1. When I was 14, my friend Doug was over at my house and we walked about a mile to the nearest basketball court. It was July and hot as hell. We played one game and then sat in the shade and realized how stupid it was to play at 3:00 in the afternoon in July in San Antonio.
2. The summer after my freshman year in college, there was a week where my friend Eric's parents were out of town and we hung out there every day. It was so much fun, so many different people and friends came over, (only good clean fun, I'm sad to report) - late nights, video games, movies, personal drama, cute girls came over, cruises for junk food, I stole part of Taco Cabana sign, just lots of fun.
3. My 21st birthday (not clean fun, but fun nonetheless).
4. Waking up the first day of the summer and feeling so good.
5. Lots of grill cheese sandwiches at home with my sister.
6. Lots of TBS and WGN re-runs - Little House on the Prairie, Matlock, Leave it Beaver, I Love Lucy, The Brady Bunch, The Monkees, I was a little TV fiend at age 10.
7. My first two summers of college, almost every other day, we'd play basketball with a ton of guys after work. Good stuff.
8. Dancing with my friends at Midnight Rodeo on Thursday nights.
9. Eating at a hole-in-wall Taco place at 2:00 AM after going out with the guys. The place had like five tables...really. Reading the menu, I felt something on me. It was a roach crawling up my leg onto my crotch area. I yelled, "Oh Shit" (sorry kids) and stood up and swiped it away. It scurried somewhere towards the kitchen. We still ordered and ate there. What can I say? We were hungry and drunk.
10. The Wondrous Adventures of Blueguy - the summer after my senior year I created my TV show with my old toys. My friends loved it, they are mainly terrible (I still have them) but that's what made them so good at the time. The next summer I made a few sequels but the magic was gone. 10 total episodes were made. I think two of them were halfway decent.
11. On a church camping trip around 13, I asked for a sip of my friend Doug's newly opened 20 oz. Big Red, and proceeded to chug the whole thing. I have no idea how I did that or why he just watched in horror (all he had to do is just take it from me).
Top Summer Memories Off The Top of My Head
1. When I was 14, my friend Doug was over at my house and we walked about a mile to the nearest basketball court. It was July and hot as hell. We played one game and then sat in the shade and realized how stupid it was to play at 3:00 in the afternoon in July in San Antonio.
2. The summer after my freshman year in college, there was a week where my friend Eric's parents were out of town and we hung out there every day. It was so much fun, so many different people and friends came over, (only good clean fun, I'm sad to report) - late nights, video games, movies, personal drama, cute girls came over, cruises for junk food, I stole part of Taco Cabana sign, just lots of fun.
3. My 21st birthday (not clean fun, but fun nonetheless).
4. Waking up the first day of the summer and feeling so good.
5. Lots of grill cheese sandwiches at home with my sister.
6. Lots of TBS and WGN re-runs - Little House on the Prairie, Matlock, Leave it Beaver, I Love Lucy, The Brady Bunch, The Monkees, I was a little TV fiend at age 10.
7. My first two summers of college, almost every other day, we'd play basketball with a ton of guys after work. Good stuff.
8. Dancing with my friends at Midnight Rodeo on Thursday nights.
9. Eating at a hole-in-wall Taco place at 2:00 AM after going out with the guys. The place had like five tables...really. Reading the menu, I felt something on me. It was a roach crawling up my leg onto my crotch area. I yelled, "Oh Shit" (sorry kids) and stood up and swiped it away. It scurried somewhere towards the kitchen. We still ordered and ate there. What can I say? We were hungry and drunk.
10. The Wondrous Adventures of Blueguy - the summer after my senior year I created my TV show with my old toys. My friends loved it, they are mainly terrible (I still have them) but that's what made them so good at the time. The next summer I made a few sequels but the magic was gone. 10 total episodes were made. I think two of them were halfway decent.
11. On a church camping trip around 13, I asked for a sip of my friend Doug's newly opened 20 oz. Big Red, and proceeded to chug the whole thing. I have no idea how I did that or why he just watched in horror (all he had to do is just take it from me).
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Poem Post: I Groove
Written in the mid-2000's about an event in 1999 or 2000. Edited and published on my blog in 2012.
That's about it.
I Groove
I begin my strut to the dance floor covered in plastic tarp
the party crowd circles around me with their plastic cups.
As the strobe lights flash
everything's slowed down -
my name is chanted
and I feel good.
She lingers towards me and starts to dance
the crowd roars with approval.
I'd seen her on campus before
and I always stared.
She never once returned the favor even with a glance.
But here she is now - dancing with me.
The crowd, the chanting,(her beer?) brought her towards me.
We dance, and I groove like never before.
The song ends
and we part
as if it never happened .
But my groove
is still there.
That's about it.
I Groove
I begin my strut to the dance floor covered in plastic tarp
the party crowd circles around me with their plastic cups.
As the strobe lights flash
everything's slowed down -
my name is chanted
and I feel good.
She lingers towards me and starts to dance
the crowd roars with approval.
I'd seen her on campus before
and I always stared.
She never once returned the favor even with a glance.
But here she is now - dancing with me.
The crowd, the chanting,(her beer?) brought her towards me.
We dance, and I groove like never before.
The song ends
and we part
as if it never happened .
But my groove
is still there.
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Frumpy Fragments
Awhile back I saw this bumper sticker driving home from work: "The King James' Bible IS GOD'S WORD". I wondered if I should follow him and break it to him that the New Testament was written in Greek.
What is it with people naming their children after dead presidents? It's gotten so bad, we were at a children's fundraiser today and there was a boy named....get this... NIXON. I mean, the flat out, worst president of the last century. I just can't even fathom it. I mean, even if I liked the name, I wouldn't do it. To top it off (I know, what else can top that off??) - a child was named Cheney. So, we were at a party with a child named with the same last name as the worst president and easily the most villainous of vice presidents of all-time. Wow.
Here are names I have personally heard being used by new parents, some of which are from close friends or family.
Reagan
Carter
Ford
Nixon (today)
Kennedy
Grant
Jackson
Madison
Harrison
Taylor
Pierce
Waiting just waiting for a child to be named Bush. I hope it comes true.
Thinking about presidents we are just too presidentally-centered. I am all for re-thinking US money (including offing the penny altogether). We need to display more social reformers, artists, inventors, scientists, athletes, judges, senators, astronauts and other heroes. We need to honor Native Americans and our scenic landscape more than just the same dead white guys and the same white statues and buildings that honor the same dead white guys. There are creative ways of getting this done, I hope it happens at some point. I liked the Lewis & Clark stuff and 50 state quarter thing...so there is a little hope after all.
I was thinking tonight about what the percent of the population sing in their cars. I don't mean hum along or sing quietly - I mean, really belting out songs at the top of their lungs singing. I would be one of those people, although I get a little braver at night.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Summertime Fragments
Talking with my six-year old in the car the other day and I don't remember what we were talking about but she said, "Sometimes I wonder who I am and what I am doing?". I praised my little philosopher for asking such big questions.
I've been on "break" since last week but I don't feel rested and I haven't really had a break. Go figure.
Had an epic hour yesterday. I sold five old books at the used bookstore that I didn't want for five bucks (I got ripped off but ya know I just wanted to get rid of them as I need the shelf space anyway). Got 8 comics for $2.50 (80's Marvel). With my remaining money, I got two tacos for the exact amount leftover money in my pocket. It was like fate, man.
Summer's cool. We have our anniversary in June (and Father's Day) and both of our birthdays in July...so lots of excuse to go out on dates.
As expected, my grandma passed away last week....it went as well as those type things can go.
I sometimes get the desire to post links to cool articles and pics but think that it really wouldn't be that fun after all. Pic Dumps are enough for me.
Reviews of Stuff
Rockafire Explosion Documentary - 2.5 stars (out of 5)
The Avengers Movie - 3.5 stars (it's alright but damn, it's not worth the $8.50 or whatever it was for a ticket - that makes me want to never go back until The Hobbit in December unless I have a coupon)
Spurs Playoff Run - 5 Stars (I mean, the playoffs are about drama so they aren't really producing it but they are playing some amazing ball -- I hope they keep it up with no drama at all by kicking the crap out of the Thunder and Heat).
NBA Side note Part I: Can't say I think the Mavs are Lakers were very good this year but OKC impresses me. The team and it's fans are rabid. My gut is telling me this series (SA-OKC) could be a classic. Maybe like SA- Dallas 06 (can't say it worked out for us but the games were amazing - even if the refs were awful and gave the Mavs some critical calls). It's just got that vibe and hype going. But who knows? I hope this time the Spurs come out on top - they need Manu back in fifth gear for this series.
NBA Side note Part II : Every know and then I think about how scary the Heat or Celtics are (as they both actually play defense) and then remember how crappy both look against crappy, crappy teams). Seriously, Jazz would be at least the fifth best team in the East maybe the fourth and the Clippers, even with a hobbled team, are better than the Pacers.
Man on a Wire Documentary -4 stars (not even done with this one but it's a goodie).
Summer Weather - 4 Stars (hasn't been too hot yet)
Sno-cones from the place down the street - 5 Stars (Tiger's Blood with Cream)
That is all, proceed with the rest of your life.
I've been on "break" since last week but I don't feel rested and I haven't really had a break. Go figure.
Had an epic hour yesterday. I sold five old books at the used bookstore that I didn't want for five bucks (I got ripped off but ya know I just wanted to get rid of them as I need the shelf space anyway). Got 8 comics for $2.50 (80's Marvel). With my remaining money, I got two tacos for the exact amount leftover money in my pocket. It was like fate, man.
Summer's cool. We have our anniversary in June (and Father's Day) and both of our birthdays in July...so lots of excuse to go out on dates.
As expected, my grandma passed away last week....it went as well as those type things can go.
I sometimes get the desire to post links to cool articles and pics but think that it really wouldn't be that fun after all. Pic Dumps are enough for me.
Reviews of Stuff
Rockafire Explosion Documentary - 2.5 stars (out of 5)
The Avengers Movie - 3.5 stars (it's alright but damn, it's not worth the $8.50 or whatever it was for a ticket - that makes me want to never go back until The Hobbit in December unless I have a coupon)
Spurs Playoff Run - 5 Stars (I mean, the playoffs are about drama so they aren't really producing it but they are playing some amazing ball -- I hope they keep it up with no drama at all by kicking the crap out of the Thunder and Heat).
NBA Side note Part I: Can't say I think the Mavs are Lakers were very good this year but OKC impresses me. The team and it's fans are rabid. My gut is telling me this series (SA-OKC) could be a classic. Maybe like SA- Dallas 06 (can't say it worked out for us but the games were amazing - even if the refs were awful and gave the Mavs some critical calls). It's just got that vibe and hype going. But who knows? I hope this time the Spurs come out on top - they need Manu back in fifth gear for this series.
NBA Side note Part II : Every know and then I think about how scary the Heat or Celtics are (as they both actually play defense) and then remember how crappy both look against crappy, crappy teams). Seriously, Jazz would be at least the fifth best team in the East maybe the fourth and the Clippers, even with a hobbled team, are better than the Pacers.
Man on a Wire Documentary -4 stars (not even done with this one but it's a goodie).
Summer Weather - 4 Stars (hasn't been too hot yet)
Sno-cones from the place down the street - 5 Stars (Tiger's Blood with Cream)
That is all, proceed with the rest of your life.
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