I got back from Northern (the North of) Ireland again a few weeks back. When you return home from a meaningful trip, there is always a hangover, a jetlag of the soul.
Here's a poem I wrote about my trip. It is untitled.
What does it mean to be at Corrymeela?
To inhabit a world of possible hope.
I have learned a thousand ways of being, a thousand ways that share the same path.
I could be the Irish woman who knocked on everyone’s door, seeking peace.
I could be the South African working with the poor, forgotten children in a township.
I could be the traveling American minister with more questions than answers.
I could be the Afghan who works in an Italian restaurant in Lithuania.
I could be the Kazak student full of certainty and the confidence of youth.
But I am not.
I am just me.
I go back home the way I came, a little different, much the same.
Reflective and confused, awake but bleary-eyed as ever.
I do what I do because it's the path in front of me.
As an academic, I view my "years" as framed by the academic year. This framing comes despite teaching every summer, full-time, every year I have been full-time. Having three kids reinforces this framing.
Personal Fragments
This year was crazy busy with my additional duties at work, I was released from some of my teaching load to help with the other stuff I do on campus, which was great. It was suggested (in a speculative fashion) I do this full-time....which sounds great, in theory, but giving up a tenured position doesn't sit well with me. Then again, another person at this meeting said, "We have trouble getting rid of bad employees! Don't worry about it too much"....Time will tell.
I am also going on a workshop around the US South again and taking some students to Northern Ireland. It should be a lot of fun. I might post some pics of Northern Ireland with some commentary but don't get too excited, I might not.
This year I have really tried being more present every day. I am partially succeeding. Even a simple walk outside, a sip of coffee, and a laugh with my child feels better this way. I ain't Zen yet but I'm doing alright.
I bought one of those little devices that has thousands of games on them. Deleted some of the worst roms, added a few missing and added a ton of Mario hacks. Awesome move, do some research, get a good one and enjoy.Two Big Thumbs up.
One day last week I turned in all my pennies and change (about 25 bucks) and blew it all at a pinball joint and some tacos. It was so fun to "play hooky" and just hang out playing pinball for an hour. Incredible. Also, two big thumbs up.
I loved playing Godzilla and Indiana Jones but I really loved playing Congo. What a terrible movie and a great pinball machine!!
I have planned a Film Festival next week for the family, a few friends and C's BF. All are invited to the all-day event that will start at 7:30 AM and go non-stop until early the next morning (sometime after midnight). I think I will post about that experience the week after.
I had a few beers with an old friend about a month ago. That was great. I love that guy. I actually drank quite a bit less this year, not that I had a problem, but it kinda lost its appeal (so did taking Delta 8 and 9, which I wasn't a big fan of and I am kinda done with THC products at this point). Most of my drinking is limited to having one at dinner at a restaurant or if I am offered one at a friend's house.
This year was a year of transitions, my wife went back to full-time teaching, and....it was kinda a disaster. Of course, she was great, she's a hard worker and a caring teacher but she was stressed and this school was not a good fit for her. It was the first time she was teaching students who were forced to be in a music class. She will be moving jobs to a different school but it is a dream environment working as a co-director with a friend (and she will make more money). Super excited about this move!
I tried to read more this year but it didn't really work out (I blame YouTube). I read Arabian Nights, Kafka's The Trail (amazing), The Motorcycle Diaries, I am Legend, a book that reprinted a ton of old Spurs articles and of course, a slew of old comics. I am sure I read something else but that's all I can remember in this moment. I just started reading Wool and so far, I am impressed!
Interruption of Personal Fragments for some Spurs Fragments:
I never talked about winning the lottery last May on the blog. My son and I watched the lottery together and when the Hornets came up #2, I started whooping and screaming, it was unbelievable. E told me later she thought somehow the family had literally won the lottery. The Spurs somehow did it again, I understand the Lakers, Celtics, Warriors and Bulls have more championships and blah, blah, blah, but I have to think God likes the Spurs a little bit too. Wemby did not disappoint. I had placed his floor at like 15-17 ppg, 7-8 rebounds, 2-3 blocks and I was glad he went above that,and in less than 30 minutes a game. Now, let's hope we strike gold again. I am so excited for the next chapter of the Spurs history.
Okay, back to Fam Fragments
H started 6th grade this year and boy, he's embraced middle school life. He loves vintage shoes and fashion, wears too much cologne and holes up in his room more often than I like. He did well in choir but hates the director, so that's done (maybe). He's been playing soccer a lot but will be wanting to play football next year, which we reluctantly agreed to (and hope he quits after middle school). He continues to be smart, curious and always asking us questions that he could spend the night, start a business, buy more shit that he said he was going to save, "So, hear me out....." We are going to miss hearing his quick footsteps come down the stairs one day, in a rush to go play outside with the neighbors down the street. In the fall, H and I were walking around the block together when a man said, "Is this your son?" My heart kinda stopped but being that he is Black and I am white, this isn't a completely random question, even still my heart stopped. Had he done something when he was playing outside (on a Saturday when we barely see him in the house)?? "Yes" "I love seeing him and other kids play when I get home from work! I love seeing the lemonade stand, the bikes, etc. you just don't see enough kids outside playing these days". I breathed a sigh of relief.
E started HS and excelled. She's been loving choir, and earning amazing awards in competitions as a freshman. She loves HS and choir and just earned two academic awards last night. Typically I take her to school in the mornings as she has an early choir that starts before school so her older sister can't take her. That means we have spent a lot of time together this year. Sometimes we're quiet and I'm listening to my music (usually to stop her from singing some musical in the car), sometimes we're chatty and friendly and occasionally we pick her friend Wade up to school. She's worked so hard on music this year and it's paying off. Sometimes she still rolls those eyes and can give a little attitude but she has a hear of gold with her homemade cards for teachers, friends and even her mom and I. Good memories for a great year for E.
C was is graduating high school in a couple of weeks and I am full of pride, excitement, nostalgia, happiness, and a healthy dose of sadness.
She had a great year, she quit marching band to focus on debate and her job but ended up quitting her job (got a new one but barely works more than once every other week) and downshifting her debate schedule to prioritize her very own advocacy non-profit....which is crazy amazing. She is following her heart and learning a lot of lessons. I have been able to help a bit here and there and she has a heart for justice. She also has a serious boyfriend as well. He's a great guy but it's too early to tell what will come of it, I am a little uneasy about the possible fallout of all this, as you start to think crazy things at this age and don't realize there should be no hurry to move in or get married. The world is different though, the rent is too damn high.
Back in December, I found myself alone in the house one Saturday morning. I was washing dishes, listening to music or maybe a podcast when I received a notification on my phone. It was my good friend Google Photos, and it told me it put together a slide show of my oldest, C. I decided to take a quick break from my kitchen duties and watched the slide show. By the time it ended, I was in tears, sobbing.
I guess what I am saying is no one said watching your kids grow up would be so hard.
There's something tantalizingly hard to describe the experience....remembering your own senior year and the choices you made that lead to the creation of the adult version of you. There's a lot at stake in these next few years, she knows it and we know it.
That's life in a nutshell. I love my life and I wouldn't trade it for anyone else's (although I do wish my salary was double what it is). Stay cool if you're in the heat and don't forget to water that plant outside!
Whoops, I basically had this finished last summer but forgot to post it. So, here it is a year late (I don't think anyone else cares, so you shouldn't either).
Last year the San Antonio Spurs celebrated their 50th anniversary with a 50-part docu-series chronicling the history of the team entitled The Ring of the Rowel.
Yes, you read that correctly, it is a FIFTY-part docu-series.
The series produced a total of over 13 and a half hours of footage. It's an impressive piece of work for the in-house production team that included hours of writing, conducting interviews, searching for archival footage, and editing the whole thing into a proper narrative. The series goes above and beyond what most teams do for their anniversaries.
The Spurs franchise had to believe that if they didn't tell the story of one of the most successful sports franchises of the last fifty years, no one would....and it's just as likely no one will give a full review of this excellent series, so why not me?
The Spurs wisely released the videos out of chronological order. This allowed them to slowly release the most popular videos throughout the year, rather than in one clump. This also made the experience a little more fun as each week, fans would eagerly wait for the next episode in complete mystery of what would come next. Many of the videos themselves are more thematic than chronological. For example, there is an episode on the Spurs-Lakers rivalry that covers the early 80s rivalry as well as the 2000s rivalry with Kobe and Shaq. However, most of the episodes are chronological, so if you watch them in the order the Spurs released them, it can be a bit of a discombobulated experience.
Some kind soul has put together a chronological order of The Ring of the Rowel on YouTube. If you haven't watched any episodes, this is the way to do it. Just search it up on YT. Some of the videos are nearly impossible to put in proper chronological order but having a proper chronological order is impossible because of the thematic nature of the series. If someone was insane enough, they could edit the entire 13 + hours and make a giant single documentary.....but you would be insane to even think such thoughts (I just thought of it).
The series focused on the players, but there were episodes on ownership, the buildings the Spurs played in, and even the Coyote (which was surprisingly very good). Last year, former owner Red McCombs died, and it felt like they randomly created a video just for him, even though much of that episode ended up being recycled from a later (or chronologically earlier) video.
Here are some of my favorites:
"Origins" - Entertaining and informative, I honestly learned a lot.
"Ice Man Cometh" - Of course, I love the old footage, and I loved learning about the insanity of the trade that brought Gervin to SA.
"Merging" - like "Origins", very informative but also fast-paced and informative.
"Our Furry Friend" - Surprisingly interesting. I had forgotten that the Coyote had once been kicked out of a game.
"Miracle Man" (Sean Elliott) - Possibly my favorite episode, and although I love Elliott, it's not like I am his biggest fan. I admit the interchange between Elliott and Pop had me shed a tear.
"71" - this is the best thing I have ever seen or read about on David Robinson's 71-point game. Although it seems like in today's NBA 70 is increasingly becoming the new 60-65, in 1994, it was quite the feat. Great interviews with Coach Lucas and Gervin (who was an assistant coach this year), and it included unseen footage from the locker room after the game (hey, look, Madonna)!!!
As you can tell, my favorites were primarily older stuff, but that's because I am a bit of a Spurs nut-case and an expert in the Tim/Tony/Manu era.
If you're a Spurs fan, you really need to watch all of the episodes! The quality is outstanding, and this is a big but, this series is an "official documentary". This means some major stories that did NOT get told because some of these stories were a wee bit unsightly. After all, a "squeaky clean" team like the Spurs doesn't want to tarnish its own myth-making.
If this were a perfect world, here would be the stories that should have been covered but didn't for one reason or another:
Alvin Robertson
It's clear that this guy seems like a messed-up dude, but does that mean we should forget his record-shattering career?
Robertson is one of three players in NBA history that had a quadruple-double (and he was on the Spurs when he did it).
While on the Spurs, he was a 4-time All-Star & the NBA DPOY in 1986.
He is the only player to have 300 steals in an NBA season
Robertson averaged over 3 steals a game, which has only been done ten times (and he did it three of those ten times with the Spurs)!
There isn't a need to get too deep into his off-court troubles, but we should admit that some of his on-court play was historically great.
Dennis Rodman
I would argue Rodman was an idiot with the Spurs, but I also think he might have been at his athletic peak in his time with the Spurs. Rodman played on two crazy, zany years as Drob's sidekick. Both seasons had plenty to remember, and I think framing this imaginary episode about the relationship between Robinson and Rodman, one of the league's most bizarre duos of all time, would have been interesting.
Just start the episode with this:
There were so many interesting things that happened, and at the very least, we got a cool Secret Base Beef episode out of it:
The 1994-1997 Spurs Era and Gregg Popovich's firing of Bob Hill
In 1997, Pop (as the Spurs' GM) fired head coach Bob Hill and installed himself as coach. This insane move wasn't EVEN MENTIONED in the Pop episode.
This bold move by Pop should have been a whole episode. The episode should have begun by honoring that great WCF team, following their rise and fall to the Rockets. At the time, Pop firing Hill seemed like an egotistical and cruel move, right as Robinson was recovering from injury.
Even in the episode that was centered on other coaches the Spurs have had, Bob Hill isn't even mentioned! Hill has been basically whitewashed from Spurs history, which is sad. Until Pop came along, he was easily the Spurs' most successful coach, to not even mention him at all seems unnecessarily mean and petty.
In retrospect, firing Hill was absolutely the right move. Spurs fans held it against Pop until at least 2003. I didn't even really like Pop until 2005ish.
The Spurs-Lakers rivalry got an episode, but the Spurs have had many rivalries that deserved a similar feature. The Jazz could be put in there, but that rivalry was largely limited to the largely the 90s.
Here are some highlights of each of the rivalries' match-ups above that could have been featured:
Spurs-Mavs - Tim v. Dirk, playoff matchups in 2001, 2003, 2006, 2010, and 2014, Tim had his career high of 53 in an OT game, Cuban talking shit about the Riverwalk, acquiring Finley (his journey from being cut from the Mavs, signing with the Spurs, losing to the Mavs in 2006 to finally winning the chip in 2007 with the Spurs might have been a good framing device).
Spurs-Rockets- Hakeem v. David Robinson, 1995 Conference Finals loss, a huge game in 99 (Elie game-winner), Tracey McGrady scoring a million points in less than one minute, Manu blocking Harden and winning WCSF in 2017.
Spurs-Suns - Barkley closing down Hemisphere on a buzzer-beater, Tim's first playoff series in 98, the 2003 match-up (Marbury's buzzer-beater in game one), 2005 and 2007 WCF matchups (both legendary), and Nash's Sun's eventual win in 2010.
The Rise and Fall of the Kawhi Era
I know this seems too fresh for some, but it is definitely one of the most important stories of the last few years in the NBA. The producers didn't have to make anyone look bad but to ignore the topic seems to be petty and flat-out silly.
The guy was a defensive player of the year for the Spurs (twice), our Finals MVP of 2014 and he also led us to a 2017 WCF and the brink of what could have been something special. I don't like the guy, I think he is a certified weirdo, but the fact he didn't get a focused episode on him, left a bad taste in my mouth. It is an inevitability that his number will be in the rafters one day.
Yeah, Secret Base has us covered here too. :)
What's next?
Honestly, probably nothing. I can't imagine the cost and effort this took to produce it, but I would love it if the team released the unedited (or lightly edited) interviews of all these folks that they did interview. It would be a treat for super fans and surely not that difficult to pull off. Some of the interviews barely scratched the surface.
If someone is reading this who has any connection to the Spurs media team, reach out to me, I will help produce the next series at a deep discount from other consultants. lol.
Anyway, if you like the Spurs, you need to check out this underrated and amazing series.
To be clear, when I say "everyone" I mean no one, probably just me in the future, happening to be scrolling into the past, revisiting the good old blog. So, hello future me!
I am working on two huge blog posts, most of which have been worked on in various forms for the past few months but could just never get around to finishing them. The longer one is a post on the 2013 Spurs team and it included re-watching their playoff run, so, it's taken a good while. I would like to say it's been worth the wait, but really, no one's been waiting for them.
So, it's coming soon....? Sometime in the next year for SURE.
In the meantime, I was perusing my Google Photos app tonight and thought, why not make it a blog? Here are some random photos from the last few months of my life.
Last fall, our little kitty Kirby never came home he was almost two years old. He was basically my cat, he loved me the most and everyone knew it. I finally caved and we got a new kitten this past summer. We named her Wemby, after ya know, Wemby. I guess I finally like her more than I used to I can be stubbornly loyal. I still miss the Kirbster though. This photo was taken this past Saturday.
I'm ready for mushrooms, just gotta find someone I trust to get some and find someone I trust to watch me as I take them.
Does this mean I have to write a blog post about this dumb shit? I kinda want too and kinda hate the idea.
Just a meme I sent my buddy.
So this bumper sticker was on a van in front of me last month. If you can't read it, it says "hey babe, i farted". I don't know why any reasonable human would get this bumper sticker. Nonetheless, I support this bumper sticker and it made me happy.
I was reading a small reprint of Peanuts and sent this one to my oldest daughter C. I dunno, I like it.
We were in downtown SA a few weeks back and I saw this mural. Just makes me love SA a little more.
I was almost attacked by a bobcat in Colorado.
I saw this frozen waterfall in Colorado. Cool!!
As part of our winter trip was also visited Meow Wolf. This little piece spoke to me.
That's all for now folks, stay warm, stay dry and enjoy a hot chocolate with marshmallows before the spring comes!
Edit 2024: Well I found this unfinished draft. I am pretty sure I wanted to take a look at 4-5 shirts but two shirts will just have to be where it ends....
Apparently, the people that lived at our current address must have received a catalog from a company called "The Lighter Side". Inside, however, something dark, very dark lurked. Barf-inducing t-shirts. Yeah, let's take a look. Here are some t-shirts worn by "REAL AMERICANS" they might be wearing right now!
Check out this macho shirt. That's right folks, we don't run from a fight, oh, HELL NO.
When 12 dudes decided to use airplanes for murder, we didn't run, NO SIR. Instead, we will spend at least $2.7 trillion over twenty years on war (that was in 2017).
Yeah, those terrorists that attacked on 9/11 got us good but we sure showed them. Sure, they were dead. Sure, they wanted us to bumble into a decades-long war, but we sure showed them....something.
But that's not all, it's not all about money. After all, we RELOAD!!! The result would be over 7,000 US troops dead, hundreds of thousands of Iraqi & Afghani civilians dead, hundreds of thousands more severely injured, hundreds of thousands traumatized, millions more would suffer the loss of a close family member or friend and don't forget, tens of thousands more to die by suicide as a direct result of their service or the trauma suffered during our twenty-year plus war on Iraq and Afghanistan.
Yup, good thing we didn't run, that sure would be a God damn shame.
The arrogance on this t-shirt is something to behold and it explains the way people who would buy this shirt see the world: full of danger, criminals, and the certainty that they know better.
I sure as hell don't like guns they kill about 40,000 Americans a year but you don't have to like or dislike guns to know that your house is much safer WITHOUT a gun in it than it is with it. I know this first hand from personal experience in our family.
If you have a gun in your house you are more likely to have an accidental shooting or murder in your home. This has been seen in study,after study, after study.....The fantasy of saving your family from someone trying to break into your home is a powerful narrative but life is more boring for most of us.
In fact, the gun in someone's home is much more likely to be used for suicide by a family member than in home defense action. Half of US gun deaths are suicides. But of course, no, those things wouldn't happen to you, just couldn't happen. We know 17 of the 20 states with the highest gun death rates are dyed-in-the-wool Republican states. More guns and ease of access to guns equals more deaths and more shootings. It's not that difficult to figure out, but it's a point often challenged.
The narrative of saving the day is so powerful it plays to ideas of masculinity and a media obsessed with danger, violence, and crime. In many ways, gun ownership becomes a conservative self-own.
If guns kept us safer, then our death cult country would be safer than our industrialized peers and that's not what the data shows us. We've been fooled, conned, and bamboozled into signing up to the notion that we can't change the way things are....and that the only way out of the problem is more of the problem.
I was going through my old art portfolio last night and I really noticed how the phases in my life correlated with style in my art. I thought I would share a few of the pieces and reflections here. Here they are in chronological order.
Untitled - 2000 (acrylic)
This is one of the oldest paintings I still have. I don't think this is a particularly good piece but also, there's a reason I never trashed it either. I guess I kinda like it. This was done in the Spring of 2000, in my last semester of college. My roommate had moved out the year before and while I briefly had a roommate in the summer, I couldn't find another roommate. One of my closest friends had died in 1998, my girlfriend dumped me and I was a real piece of work. Lonely and yet hopeful for the next season of life to begin.
Keep in mind that College Station, TX had one of the lowest cost of living rates in the nation. My rent for a two bedroom, 1.5 bath and it was only $500 a month. This was a pretty good apartment too! I miss the 90s. Anyway, this meant I had a whole other bedroom that was sitting empty. I began to use it as an art studio and started to tape up my best work on the walls as if it were an exhibit hall. It was a unique time in my life, I briefly wrote about somewhere on this blog....but when I look back on that time, this painting makes a lot of sense. It was a time of self-discovery, chaos, and a bit of danger. This character seems to exhibit all those qualities.
Untitled - 2006-2009 (??) (printer ink)
This next piece was done in the mid-2000s. At this point, I was married and had a kid or two. We had recently had our printer break, so we were left with a ton of printer ink that wouldn't fit in the new printer....so, it was either the trash or art! At this point in time, I had kept busy by working, having babies, and maintaining our first home..... and I hadn't created art in a long time. The results were experiments in the garage because I was too impatient to find something to catch misplaced ink. I used a wet sponge and random tools on each of the pieces. Some of the paint found its way to the concrete floor and the stains were still there when we moved out over a decade later. Some of these paintings are bright like this one but most are dark. They are a bit moody but this was purely a chance event, the main memory of this art was pure experiment. A lovely time of life that was busy but also a time of experimentation and purity.
Untitled, 2012-2015 (?) (acrylic paint and ink)
The last piece came from the early 2010s, maybe as late as 2014. If the last piece was just random experimentation, this next piece is its polar opposite. When I was bored, I would often draw these maze-like structures, usually on the margins of notes, ever since college. The design would grow around the notes and other doodles. It was just fun to do. I decided I should do a whole piece of my maze structures one day. This is on a single sheet, maybe a 12X10, so it's not too big but it's not small either....it was painstaking and time-consuming work. After the kids were tucked in, I would sit in the kitchen and build the maze in pencil, trace in ink, and later I colored it in red acrylic paint with the smallest brush you could buy. Sure, I could have used a red pen....but there was something extremely satisfying about using the brush. It was an act of relaxation that yet, it doesn't quite look relaxing at all. I hold only lovely memories of those days and yet they were exhausting. A simple painting that took hours of effort. No doubt, we had a deceptively simple life but a life that took hours of love and patience to make it work.
Time flies. It's been almost two years since I wrote a "Confucius Didn't Say That!" blog post. To be honest, people searching for Confucius quotes and/or their veracity amounts to basically 90% of the traffic on my little home on the internet. So, if that describes you, welcome!
It's time once again to take another trek into the wacky and weird world of fake Confucius quotes. Today, we will be digging into two fake Confucius quotes that focus on roads or journeys.
Quote # 1 - "Roads were made for journeys, not destinations" - Confucius
This implies the destination is actually more important than the journey. That is, don't stray too far from home, dilly-dallying, because your most important obligations are back home. Travel should serve a purpose (the destination) not an end to itself.
This makes much more sense coming from someone that lived in ancient China, travel wasn't seen as a tool to learn more about oneself and in relation to others. The fake quote "reads" as more of a privileged, modern perspective. From a Confucian perspective, life wasn't about finding yourself or forging your own path to success or self-realization. Life was best understood as the striving to live an ethical life within a framework of clear relationships.
If you're looking for a Confucian spin on the idea of living one's purpose, maybe a selection from 7:34 might fit the bill:
"The Master said: “I dare not claim to be a sage or a ren (humane) man. But I strive for these without being disappointed, and I teach without becoming weary. This is what can be said of me...."
Usually at this point in my discussion of the fake quote, I end up trashing it, making fun of it, etc...but I actually like this quote. It resonates well with my 21st-century American soul. It's a good reminder to stop and appreciate the ups, downs, and the adventure that is life. The meaning in our lives comes not from the accomplishments, status or achievements, but in how we live between the "destinations".
Quote # 2 - "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step" - Confucius
As a part-time Confucian blogger (never thought you'd see that in writing, huh?), I was perusing the web for fake Confucius quotes. I saw this one and clicked the link, only to receive four pop-up ads telling me my laptop was compromised and had a virus. It felt a bit ominous, but it felt like a sign I should investigate this fake quote further.
Upon another quick search, I found out this is an actual ancient Chinese quote but of course, it's NOT from Confucius. It's actually from the Dao De Jing.
If I was a better blogger, I would give you a little background on Daoism and compare and contrast its philosophy in regards to its rivalry with Confucianism, etc., etc. but I'm not going to do that, too much to do, too little time.
A journey of a thousand miles starts with one step.
Contriving, you are defeated;
Grasping, you lose.
The sage doesn't contrive, so she isn't beaten.
Not grasping, she doesn't lose.
When people are carrying out their projects
They usually blow it at the end.
Basically, the quote and context speak for itself, this isn't rocket science. The quote reminds us to be patient and recognize that even big projects and goals begin with very small beginnings. I couldn't find an exact match for this idea but I did find this Confucius quote about the importance of patience:
[15:27] The Master said: “Clever words disrupt virtue. Lack of patience in small matters leads to the disruption of great plans.”
Well, folks, that's two more fake Confucius posts down, a thousand more to go. But remember dear readers, this blog isn't about destinations but the journey, and every blog of a thousand posts begins with single post.
