Birthdays give us a chance to reflect on how much we have changed and grown but when you get down to it, there's a lot about myself that hasn't changed. If my past self met my current self (and the universe didn't implode) then those two guys would have a lot in common and could go out for pizza
I'm trying to get back in the swing of blogging and it's been awhile, so here's another list of useless information.
Here are 10 Things that Haven't Changed About Me:
1. I still have a weird sense of humor (think MST 3000 & "Tim & Eric")
2. I still drink too much soda and tea (and now coffee too)
3. I still always try to remember my dreams first thing in the morning.
4. I still day dream about how different life could be (the good, the bad and the nightmares).
5. I still sing out loud around the house, make up songs, whistle, hum, play air guitar or drum on my legs or the on the counter/ table all the time. Yes, I am still married, I don't know how I haven't driven her mad with my singing.
6. I still love peanut butter way too much.
7. I still love comic books, weezer and the Spurs.
8. I still surprise myself when I look in the mirror and remember just how white I am.
9. I still get the Inspector Gadget theme song in my head.
10. I still stay up too late, usually not accomplishing much of anything.
BONUS
11. I still write on the blog and have an obscene amount of grammatical errors! Yeesh.
Monday, July 24, 2017
Sunday, July 23, 2017
Quote of the Day
"I shall pass this way but once; any good that I can do or any kindness I can show to any human being; let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again."
- Stephen Grellet
Sunday, July 16, 2017
Home Again, Back to Reality
Well, I'm back.
I was away for 24 days from home in Ireland and London but most of my time was spent in Northern Ireland. I loved my time there in a land full of contradictions. Of violence and of peace. Of beauty and despair.
In other words, I felt at home.
It's really hard to even put into words what the experience was like.
We spent two weeks at Corrymeela. Corrymeela is a peace center in Ballycastle, which is on the Antrim coast and beautiful beyond words. It's on a cliff side facing Rathlin Island and you can see Scotland on a clear day. I would sneak out at random times during the day and just stare out at the ocean and take it all in. However, Corrymeela isn't just beautiful because of the location but because of it's mission and the people that help make it happen.
On my last night at Corrymeela I was treated to clear evening and a sunset. The sun finally said its final goodbye a little before midnight. I just keep walking in circles to take it all in.
Now I am home again, and slowly (but surely) coming back down into real life. Kids screaming, work, bills to pay, ya know, reality. It's not bad, it's just normal. Actually, I couldn't wait to get home. Those last 3-4 days were tough on me. I was ready to see my wife and kids.
I am already working on a travel blog but until then....here is a poem I wrote while I was at Corrymeela. In fact, this was one reason how I knew what I was experiencing was having an impact on me...I started writing poems again!
Enjoy.
We were at Corrymeela one night,
after the Shabbat prayer,
When the Zimbabwean began to sing…
We sang as Israelis, Rwandans, Americans and Egyptians.
We sang as peace teachers, peace believers, peace dreamers, peace makers.
We were at Corrymeela one night,
when it occurred to me,
could we wrap this moment into a package and share it with the world?
I was away for 24 days from home in Ireland and London but most of my time was spent in Northern Ireland. I loved my time there in a land full of contradictions. Of violence and of peace. Of beauty and despair.
In other words, I felt at home.
It's really hard to even put into words what the experience was like.
We spent two weeks at Corrymeela. Corrymeela is a peace center in Ballycastle, which is on the Antrim coast and beautiful beyond words. It's on a cliff side facing Rathlin Island and you can see Scotland on a clear day. I would sneak out at random times during the day and just stare out at the ocean and take it all in. However, Corrymeela isn't just beautiful because of the location but because of it's mission and the people that help make it happen.
On my last night at Corrymeela I was treated to clear evening and a sunset. The sun finally said its final goodbye a little before midnight. I just keep walking in circles to take it all in.
 |
I am already working on a travel blog but until then....here is a poem I wrote while I was at Corrymeela. In fact, this was one reason how I knew what I was experiencing was having an impact on me...I started writing poems again!
Enjoy.
We were at Corrymeela one night,
after the Shabbat prayer,
When the Zimbabwean began to sing…
We sang as Israelis, Rwandans, Americans and Egyptians.
We sang as peace teachers, peace believers, peace dreamers, peace makers.
We were at Corrymeela one night,
when it occurred to me,
could we wrap this moment into a package and share it with the world?
Sunday, May 28, 2017
Sum-sum-summer time Fragments
It's been a long time, so here are some summery fragments
The school year came and gone (almost) and now I am a father to a soon-to-be middle schooler and a my youngest starts kinder in August!
(Insert obligatory reference to how time files and how mind-blowingly crazy that is).
The Spurs lost to Golden State in the conference finals. Bummer, but given the injuries to Leonard and Parker, completely painless from a fan perspective. I hope the Warriors lose. There is lip-service paid to the last 20 years of the Spurs run, but I don't think anyone will really appreciate it until it's too late. Just unbelievable work ethic and luck. 20 years in playoffs, 10 conference finals appearances, 6 finals appearances and 5 championships is astounding.
I am two weeks away from going to Ireland/UK and getting excited but also overwhelmed at all the stuff we need to get ready and plan. I will have a travel blog at some point when I get back. It will be one week with the love of my life and another two in Northern Ireland on my own as part of my graduate program.
I am recording a 11-12 part story for the kids (as I did for Peru in 2014) with music, sound effects, different voices, etc. They take about 3 hours per 8 min. episode, which means I have my work cut out for me in the coming weeks (late nights, here I come). The worst part is finding music to fit my vocals.
Started reading The Brothers Karamazov. I dunno, something about turning 40.... I look forward to grad school ending and being able to really read again.
Started thinking about centering my Intro to Humanities course on sci-fi (only one section). Maybe down the road.....
Going to teach an apologetics course at my church in the fall. Last winter I did one for the high school, I look forward to updating the curriculum and getting better discussions. I may also add a few more weeks of material. Fun stuff for a nerd like me.
Still no word on my study abroad to India (largely because the person in charge of getting it done is incompetent).
I keep hearing 90's music in commercials. Glad people are making money but gosh that makes me feel a little sad on the inside.
I saw Guardians in the Galaxy 2, it's okay, I liked it okay. It's was A.O.K.. Good, made me laugh a few times....so pretty okay.
I think I liked Moana better.
I love being a dad but sometimes I want to vomit hearing the screams.
That's all for tonight. Pet your pet a little extra today and without telling anyone, go to the grocery store and buy one of those little ice cream cups and eat it there. When you get home, tell no one and feel good about your little secret (I've done before and it's very thrilling). Also, it helps that my grocery store has a little cafe and has spoons.
Fare thee well!
Saturday, April 1, 2017
The Lost Forest at 40
I used to have a lot of friends. In fact from my senior year of high school until my mid-30's, I probably had too many friends to keep proper track of. If you will indulge me, think of my friends as a large forest.
There were a good share of small brush (casual friends), trees (good friends) and some older, tall friends (friends I had for years, some since I was a child).
But now that I'm pushing 40; things have changed. It's true that people move and people change. Also, there's our familial duties and responsibilities. It's hard to be good friends with anyone, when everyone is so busy with work and their families. I have made all the excuses in the world about this phase of my life being "natural" or "normal" but I've noticed what used to be a robust forest is now barren with only few decaying trees around me.
One by one, year by year, I lost trees. At least one was a tree lost in a lightening strike, but most died due to a drought or neglect. Most of my "new" friends are shrubs and are pretty much destined to be just that. I have a hard time connecting to anyone really.
Here's the run down:
One friend I used to hang out with in graduate school days but he moved away soon after he was married and we had nothing much in common anyway. He moved back a few years ago but as I said we never really had much in common to begin with except beer. But the beer was good, man.
One friend got mad at me because of a political argument in 2006 and he has refused to forgive me even though I never made a personal remark during in the argument. I have repeatably asked to be forgiven for any insult implied and explicitly stated over the years to apologize....all to no avail. However, I am done asking as he obviously isn't worth the effort or time.
In 2010, I told one friend we were adopting from Ethiopia and he was like, "Oh". Then we proceeded to talk about Obamacare and got into a fight. We have spoken since then but he lives in another city and it's never been the same since then. I don't think it's personal, but then again, I don't really know. I lost his phone number years ago and he never calls or texts. I don't think I've seen him in at least 6 years. He occasionally likes photos I post of my kids on FB.
One friend cannot be bothered to leave his family or ESPN. Even to maintain friendships. I saw him at his father's funeral 3 years ago and that was the only time I had seen him in the six years. I did exchange congrats for his Cubs win in the World Series. I also deleted one of his comments on one of my FB posts about race and police brutality back in the fall. That's pretty much our relationship....nothing.
I lost contact with another friend (he was never a big talker anyway). He moved away, I lost his number and he never contacted me on FB or my phone and I never contacted him. Now it would just feel awkward and I have no idea what we would talk about.
One couple that both my wife and I liked at church moved to another state two years ago. We really liked them. We visited them last spring break (and again in the summer on the way back home from a trip) but again, we won't be seeing them much in our day-to-day lives.
Another couple that we love at church is moving to Brazil in the winter. The husband is one of two men I have actually connected with at church (the other one is described above and already moved).
My best friend at work is moving to the west coast this summer to be near his partner. I am really bummed about that. I have other friends at work, but he's the one I joke around with the most and we both share a love of free food. It just won't be the same.
Another is still a friend but we haven't been in contact at all since the summer (they were invited to the Xmas party but his kids were sick). The last time I saw him in person was a lunch last spring. He is the one friend that even read this blog at one time but again, he's busy with church family and family family and I suppose there just ain't much time left over. There's really no hard feelings on many of these friendships, but it's hard to say they are friendships when I never talk to most of them.
I do have one friend, my former best man at my wedding. We do actually talk and even occasionally hang out, but it's not often. He's really my only "active" friend.
Another friend lives in NYC and he visits when he is in town, but that's only a few times a year.
I do have a good friend at work but she is female and I can't be having drinks with her late at night or watch a Spurs game with (she's not much of a sports fan). I can never really get too close with a female anyway as I know I don't want a "best" female friend, as I am married. Hey, I ain't no Mike Pence here - we have gone to lunch, but there has to be boundaries and I respect them.
I have a bunch of friends at work and church who I am friendly with, but I am not really, "real" friends with. I like many of these people but there's always something there to separate them from becoming a good friend. I am a weird guy, so I can't really blame them.
So my big forest is gone and some of the new trees that had been planted are being ripped up and moving out of my forest.
I know all of this sounds pathetic, and it is....but sometimes a guy has to vent into the void (ya know, the internet). A void that will go on for nearly forever, but still a void. And the good thing about a void is that it just takes it.
It's a strange place to be but I can't complain all that much.
I am in love with the love of my life and I have three amazing kids. I love my job and I like most of my co-workers. My parents and in-laws are alive and healthy and my family is in decent financial shape. Oh yeah, we belong to a church that loves us.
I do have a few friends left....and some of those decaying trees could get healthy again. My forest is not in good shape, but I have hope spring will come some day.
 |
There were a good share of small brush (casual friends), trees (good friends) and some older, tall friends (friends I had for years, some since I was a child).
But now that I'm pushing 40; things have changed. It's true that people move and people change. Also, there's our familial duties and responsibilities. It's hard to be good friends with anyone, when everyone is so busy with work and their families. I have made all the excuses in the world about this phase of my life being "natural" or "normal" but I've noticed what used to be a robust forest is now barren with only few decaying trees around me.
One by one, year by year, I lost trees. At least one was a tree lost in a lightening strike, but most died due to a drought or neglect. Most of my "new" friends are shrubs and are pretty much destined to be just that. I have a hard time connecting to anyone really.
Here's the run down:
One friend I used to hang out with in graduate school days but he moved away soon after he was married and we had nothing much in common anyway. He moved back a few years ago but as I said we never really had much in common to begin with except beer. But the beer was good, man.
One friend got mad at me because of a political argument in 2006 and he has refused to forgive me even though I never made a personal remark during in the argument. I have repeatably asked to be forgiven for any insult implied and explicitly stated over the years to apologize....all to no avail. However, I am done asking as he obviously isn't worth the effort or time.
In 2010, I told one friend we were adopting from Ethiopia and he was like, "Oh". Then we proceeded to talk about Obamacare and got into a fight. We have spoken since then but he lives in another city and it's never been the same since then. I don't think it's personal, but then again, I don't really know. I lost his phone number years ago and he never calls or texts. I don't think I've seen him in at least 6 years. He occasionally likes photos I post of my kids on FB.
One friend cannot be bothered to leave his family or ESPN. Even to maintain friendships. I saw him at his father's funeral 3 years ago and that was the only time I had seen him in the six years. I did exchange congrats for his Cubs win in the World Series. I also deleted one of his comments on one of my FB posts about race and police brutality back in the fall. That's pretty much our relationship....nothing.
I lost contact with another friend (he was never a big talker anyway). He moved away, I lost his number and he never contacted me on FB or my phone and I never contacted him. Now it would just feel awkward and I have no idea what we would talk about.
One couple that both my wife and I liked at church moved to another state two years ago. We really liked them. We visited them last spring break (and again in the summer on the way back home from a trip) but again, we won't be seeing them much in our day-to-day lives.
Another couple that we love at church is moving to Brazil in the winter. The husband is one of two men I have actually connected with at church (the other one is described above and already moved).
My best friend at work is moving to the west coast this summer to be near his partner. I am really bummed about that. I have other friends at work, but he's the one I joke around with the most and we both share a love of free food. It just won't be the same.
Another is still a friend but we haven't been in contact at all since the summer (they were invited to the Xmas party but his kids were sick). The last time I saw him in person was a lunch last spring. He is the one friend that even read this blog at one time but again, he's busy with church family and family family and I suppose there just ain't much time left over. There's really no hard feelings on many of these friendships, but it's hard to say they are friendships when I never talk to most of them.
I do have one friend, my former best man at my wedding. We do actually talk and even occasionally hang out, but it's not often. He's really my only "active" friend.
Another friend lives in NYC and he visits when he is in town, but that's only a few times a year.
I do have a good friend at work but she is female and I can't be having drinks with her late at night or watch a Spurs game with (she's not much of a sports fan). I can never really get too close with a female anyway as I know I don't want a "best" female friend, as I am married. Hey, I ain't no Mike Pence here - we have gone to lunch, but there has to be boundaries and I respect them.
I have a bunch of friends at work and church who I am friendly with, but I am not really, "real" friends with. I like many of these people but there's always something there to separate them from becoming a good friend. I am a weird guy, so I can't really blame them.
So my big forest is gone and some of the new trees that had been planted are being ripped up and moving out of my forest.
I know all of this sounds pathetic, and it is....but sometimes a guy has to vent into the void (ya know, the internet). A void that will go on for nearly forever, but still a void. And the good thing about a void is that it just takes it.
It's a strange place to be but I can't complain all that much.
I am in love with the love of my life and I have three amazing kids. I love my job and I like most of my co-workers. My parents and in-laws are alive and healthy and my family is in decent financial shape. Oh yeah, we belong to a church that loves us.
I do have a few friends left....and some of those decaying trees could get healthy again. My forest is not in good shape, but I have hope spring will come some day.
Friday, March 31, 2017
Hello from my fragmented World
Well, I haven't been able to blog at all this semester because.......the usual (family, work, school, life, also Nintendo). My graduate program has a two week break and then I strap in for one more class (and the capstone class in Northern Ireland in June).
The further I have been away from blogging the more I feel like I have nothing to write about, nothing to say, nothing I want to say. Every blog ends due to ennui....
But not this one. Not yet. I have posts in my head.
Fragments on Video Games.
Fragments on my Senior Year
Fragments on Weezer (about time)
More thoughts on comic books, specifically my love affair with with 1975-1991 Marvel comics (yes, 1991).
More thoughts on friendships and getting older.
In the meantime, here are updates:
I finally got a NES Classic. It's been great and I love the fact my five year old, H and I play Zelda together. It's been a great bonding thing.
My 11 year old, C, started her own photography business. Incredible. She's already gotten 3 gigs of her own.
E, my 8 year old has these fascinating, detailed art/crafts/cards/stories, there's almost a new project everyday. She's also obsessed with Amazon's Just Add Magic, watching every episode, over and over and over again.
C and H had birthday parties.
We went camping during spring break. It was pretty great.
I applied to lead a study abroad to India for summer of 2018. My colleague that went to Peru with me is moving away, so I had to find someone new. I am bummed he is moving but I think I found a person I can work well with and not be annoyed with. I was just happy I could find anyone that gives a hoot. We find out in April (I hope) or at the latest, May.
I am looking forward to my travels this summer and I am looking forward to my 40's to be full of travel. To India in 2018 (fingers crossed), maybe Brazil (friends are moving there), possibly India again and then....who knows? Maybe back to Peru or a European Study Abroad with my last old friend remaining. Who knows? But I won't be sitting on my hands waiting around.
All this to say is life is pretty good and pretty busy. Turns out I have some time on my hands this weekend and I may get the writing itch.
But if I don't, I won't.
Until next time, don't forget to take out the trash and be sure to call your Mom this week (she misses you).
The further I have been away from blogging the more I feel like I have nothing to write about, nothing to say, nothing I want to say. Every blog ends due to ennui....
But not this one. Not yet. I have posts in my head.
Fragments on Video Games.
Fragments on my Senior Year
Fragments on Weezer (about time)
More thoughts on comic books, specifically my love affair with with 1975-1991 Marvel comics (yes, 1991).
More thoughts on friendships and getting older.
In the meantime, here are updates:
I finally got a NES Classic. It's been great and I love the fact my five year old, H and I play Zelda together. It's been a great bonding thing.
My 11 year old, C, started her own photography business. Incredible. She's already gotten 3 gigs of her own.
E, my 8 year old has these fascinating, detailed art/crafts/cards/stories, there's almost a new project everyday. She's also obsessed with Amazon's Just Add Magic, watching every episode, over and over and over again.
C and H had birthday parties.
We went camping during spring break. It was pretty great.
I applied to lead a study abroad to India for summer of 2018. My colleague that went to Peru with me is moving away, so I had to find someone new. I am bummed he is moving but I think I found a person I can work well with and not be annoyed with. I was just happy I could find anyone that gives a hoot. We find out in April (I hope) or at the latest, May.
I am looking forward to my travels this summer and I am looking forward to my 40's to be full of travel. To India in 2018 (fingers crossed), maybe Brazil (friends are moving there), possibly India again and then....who knows? Maybe back to Peru or a European Study Abroad with my last old friend remaining. Who knows? But I won't be sitting on my hands waiting around.
All this to say is life is pretty good and pretty busy. Turns out I have some time on my hands this weekend and I may get the writing itch.
But if I don't, I won't.
Until next time, don't forget to take out the trash and be sure to call your Mom this week (she misses you).
Wednesday, January 4, 2017
The Latest Late Fragments
I'm back.
At least for now.
I was meaning to write as soon as the fall semester ended but then before I knew it the holidays had come upon our home. There were choir and music programs, holiday parties and the we instituted a winter cleaning and re-arranging of the kid's bedrooms. I almost had less time on my hands than I did during the semester. Now, with the kids back in school, I can exhale a little. First world problems, I know and I am NOT complaining.
The fall semester went by in a flash. I am halfway through my graduate certificate program and I held down my full time teaching duties without being a terrible professor (well at least not too terrible, as I am still employed).
I was busy but it honed me to use my time wisely. Now, when I look back over the years at falling behind with my grading all while just having my familial and job duties, I just have to wonder....what was I doing with my time??
Hint: Youtube and the internet
And no, I am not capitalizing internet.
Here's the kid update. C was elected to the 5th grade student council and now plays the cello, E (2nd grade) joined the school choir and has gotten a lot more mature this year (less fits, easier for her to soothe herself), H (age 4) played soccer and when he was playing attention, the best or second best player on the field, he is also OBSESSED with Pokemon.
Pokemon cards, Pokemon TV shows, trading cards, pretending we are Pokemon, saving up his pennies and talking about buying Pokemon, Pokemon, POKEMON POKEMON.
At work, I applied for promotion, which took hours and hours of getting my digital portfolio ready. Thankfully, some of the ground work had been done in the spring. I also hosted a Black Lives Matter speaker as well. I didn't need to have too many signs up as I was having 5-6 classes coming to the event, but I put a few up outside my office. We had to replenish the signs over 8 times. Yup, folks, racism is a alive and well in 2016. The event itself went well enough though with standing room only!
Every night before bed, even if I was behind with my graduate reading I would read The Name of the Rose. It was slow, kinda boring and comforting. If you like dense, going off on odd historical tangents, and books that are a tad boring books, I recommend it.
Since the break, I read though a bunch of old comics (yay), A Smithsonian Book of Comic-Book Comic, The Man in the High Castle (because we love the show), and skimmed through What If? (by the xkcd comic author). I am reading a book about Confucianism now. It's great to just read.
I've booked most of my flights for my wife and I this summer. We will be visiting Dublin & Belfast (and parts many places between) and London. We have an old friend in London, so that's awesome when you have a local around to help. Then, my love flies back home after a week and I go up to Ballycastle in northern, Northern Ireland for another two weeks for my capstone class. I heard it's class from sun-up to sun-down, but a former student (and friend who did this program last year) said they advised the program director to ease up and allow some free time. I can hope they heeded his advice.
Now, I've got to get busy planning a study abroad to India, becausel, what else am I going to do? When I turned 39, back in July, it really gave me a sense of urgency in what I want to do with my career. I found a willing colleague, so why not? Life is short and the world is full of adventure.
I'll try to blog again before I am back at work as I really want to finish up my high school memories series before Father Time eats more memories. I might even check in from time to time before I leave for our trip. Then, I will definitely be updating the blog with all the nutty details of our travels.
Well, back to reality and time to sweep up. Whoever you are, I hope your holiday season was well and you are able to reflect on your life and be thankful for something, even if it's small.
At least for now.
I was meaning to write as soon as the fall semester ended but then before I knew it the holidays had come upon our home. There were choir and music programs, holiday parties and the we instituted a winter cleaning and re-arranging of the kid's bedrooms. I almost had less time on my hands than I did during the semester. Now, with the kids back in school, I can exhale a little. First world problems, I know and I am NOT complaining.
The fall semester went by in a flash. I am halfway through my graduate certificate program and I held down my full time teaching duties without being a terrible professor (well at least not too terrible, as I am still employed).
I was busy but it honed me to use my time wisely. Now, when I look back over the years at falling behind with my grading all while just having my familial and job duties, I just have to wonder....what was I doing with my time??
Hint: Youtube and the internet
And no, I am not capitalizing internet.
Here's the kid update. C was elected to the 5th grade student council and now plays the cello, E (2nd grade) joined the school choir and has gotten a lot more mature this year (less fits, easier for her to soothe herself), H (age 4) played soccer and when he was playing attention, the best or second best player on the field, he is also OBSESSED with Pokemon.
Pokemon cards, Pokemon TV shows, trading cards, pretending we are Pokemon, saving up his pennies and talking about buying Pokemon, Pokemon, POKEMON POKEMON.
At work, I applied for promotion, which took hours and hours of getting my digital portfolio ready. Thankfully, some of the ground work had been done in the spring. I also hosted a Black Lives Matter speaker as well. I didn't need to have too many signs up as I was having 5-6 classes coming to the event, but I put a few up outside my office. We had to replenish the signs over 8 times. Yup, folks, racism is a alive and well in 2016. The event itself went well enough though with standing room only!
Every night before bed, even if I was behind with my graduate reading I would read The Name of the Rose. It was slow, kinda boring and comforting. If you like dense, going off on odd historical tangents, and books that are a tad boring books, I recommend it.
Since the break, I read though a bunch of old comics (yay), A Smithsonian Book of Comic-Book Comic, The Man in the High Castle (because we love the show), and skimmed through What If? (by the xkcd comic author). I am reading a book about Confucianism now. It's great to just read.
I've booked most of my flights for my wife and I this summer. We will be visiting Dublin & Belfast (and parts many places between) and London. We have an old friend in London, so that's awesome when you have a local around to help. Then, my love flies back home after a week and I go up to Ballycastle in northern, Northern Ireland for another two weeks for my capstone class. I heard it's class from sun-up to sun-down, but a former student (and friend who did this program last year) said they advised the program director to ease up and allow some free time. I can hope they heeded his advice.
Now, I've got to get busy planning a study abroad to India, becausel, what else am I going to do? When I turned 39, back in July, it really gave me a sense of urgency in what I want to do with my career. I found a willing colleague, so why not? Life is short and the world is full of adventure.
I'll try to blog again before I am back at work as I really want to finish up my high school memories series before Father Time eats more memories. I might even check in from time to time before I leave for our trip. Then, I will definitely be updating the blog with all the nutty details of our travels.
Well, back to reality and time to sweep up. Whoever you are, I hope your holiday season was well and you are able to reflect on your life and be thankful for something, even if it's small.
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