Saturday Night Special: The Bends

There was a time in the 90's when I knew just about everything that was going on the alternative music scene.  My depth of knowledge was quite shallow but it was wide. My knowledge of the history of rock/pop music was extremely poor as well.  I knew about bands, when albums were coming out mostly due to the fact that I was a DJ at our college station so it helped me keep in the “loop” of the college music scene.  

Looking back, my ability to have an educated taste was at an elementary level. This doesn’t stop anyone from having opinions though, and it didn’t stop me.  I knew what I liked and I was picky as hell. To make matters worse, I was always on the look out for sell-outs or poseurs. I figured if something made it really big and wasn’t “rock out with your cock out” then it was lame.

Anyway, when I discovered The Bends shortly after it was released, I liked it. Not deeply or intensely but I knew what I liked and I liked this. I eventually grew to love the album.

Lots of people like radiohead. I am happy for them but for me, radiohead begins and ends with The Bends. After this, they lost their ability to truly rock.  There’s worse bands out there but they ain’t my cup of tea anymore. This song shines for me on a great album. I really could have almost picked any song on this album (except “Fake Plastic Trees” as by definition, I am supposed to pick “rocky” songs for my Saturday Night Specials).

So, I feel like this is introducing the Beatles to someone, but surely, there is someone like me when I was in college. They might just be discovering the history of rock music....maybe, just maybe this is their introduction to wade a little deeper out away from their own comfort zone.  Probably not, but ya know the thought is nice.

Poem Post: Visiting Grandpa

I feel like I am making up for lost time with the blog. Here's a poem I wrote in 03-04 around the time my mother's father passed. It's a sad little thing but it captured my thoughts at the time.

visiting grandpa


i found him trembling in room 504

i remember thinking he looked like a defeated Indian chief

his face looked sad, brown and weathered

i combed his hair

and spoon fed him lunch

his bruised hands held mine

i am sure he doesn't know who i am

vast sadness filled those halls

with or without,

we all die alone.

The Story Teller

I often never finish or follow through on my creative plans.  Even the art projects, written projects, etc. I do complete seem to take inordinate amount of time. Nothing comes easy for me, but then again, I am a lazy man.  Hence, the whole title of this blog, I think I wrote this all before....this brings me to my latest endeavor, storytelling.

I’ve always been a story teller for my kids, stories in the car, stories when we're stuck in public somewhere boring, you get the picture.  But my specialty are bedtime stories.  Since we brought our son home in September, I've had nary a night off (if I did have the night off for the girls, the story was told before their Mom tucked them in). In fact, I am working on basically the same world and characters since September. We’ve had all sorts of adventures; being taken prisoner by trolls (who wanted the main character's toenails, of course), hiding from witches, being caught in a goblin's snot net and generally adventuring in a fantasy world - think of it as Lord of the Rings-lite for ages 5-9.

Soon after starting these stories, I found myself on a Sunday afternoon, drawing a map of the entire world we had explored including areas we had yet to "visit".  It struck me just how much fun I was having creating this little world, even without the kids.  After a few more weeks of storytelling, I ran out of room on the map. At Christmas, my oldest daughter bought me a poster board and map pencils so I could draw the whole map out.   

Cute story, eh?

I was happy to start but then I realized what I was up against.  It took me well over a month to complete,  including coloring the map in map pencils. I usually worked at least a 1-2 hours a day and at times closer to 4 hours in one day. It basically became my life outside of parental duties and work. Every morning the girls would ask to see what I had worked on the night before.  

The finished map

 

Now, the wonderful aspect about the map was that it helps write the stories themselves.  Once you have the geography and culture decided on, then it’s just letting your characters interact within the framework of your world.  I estimate it took me a tad over 48 hours to finish  the map. The night I finished I took it in to get laminated and hang it on the girl's wall. 

All this is to say, I have been harboring dark, conceited little thoughts about publishing these stories in some capacity.  If it took me over a month just to complete the map how long would it take me to finish one page, let alone one chapter of a book I would be actually happy with? I don't even read children's literature, at least not this type.... I can't even write a blog post without finding numerous grammatical errors or unclear wording. Do I want to devote all my free time to working on something that holds no promise of success?  If I do finish, I would have to search for a publisher and likely be rejected countless times, maybe even face rejection for years?  Do I want to risk the fact that the likely outcome is, well, nothing tangible....

I’m not looking to get rich. I don’t care about that stuff, but I’ve always harbored the fantasy of getting paid to come up with silly ideas. I suppose this whole idea is silly (but it’s not as cool because I didn’t get paid for it).  

Sometimes I feel like God has pulled me in five different directions. Each direction offers completely different risks, outcomes, advantages and disadvantages.  Eventually, I will have to pick a path and hope for the best.  For now, I’ll just keep being the story teller before bedtime.

Fragmentaional Re-start

This could have been just another abandoned blog.

 A quick Google search tells me 95% of blogs eventually get abandoned but ya know we're all going to become "abandoned" someday. I was talking about someone's health issues at church awhile back and some old man said, "You know, I don't think any of us are  getting out of here alive!" I re-use that line all the time now Love it. 

After all the readership is pretty much zero and I am pretty busy with life in general. 

However, there is a part of me that enjoys writing for the sake of writing and then preserving it. It's an ego thing and at the same time a hobby. It has allowed me to explore topics somewhat privately with a public benefit.  No, not in the way of comments or discussions, as I think I've had three actual comments from folks I don't know (btw - thanks very much kind people!).... However, several times in my own conversations with people or in the classroom, I have found myself repeating something I wrote on the blog. That's something I have found useful. 

So, for whatever the reason, I am back and hope to be back on a regular schedule. There is much to update on, and much to tell, but for now, just the fragments:

 Anyway, we got back in September from Ethiopia with our son.

H is wonderful. When he came home he was a little over six months home and he is the sweetest little guy around. He has a pleasant disposition and more prone to smile than fuss. He is interested in just about everything but especially people.   As for his adjustment, although he came to our transition home in Ethiopia malnourished and gained weight there for two months, he was still severely underweight for his age when he got home.  However, he has grown by leaps and bounds and is at or above his peer group for development in speech and physical development. He is one smart booger.

Here is the list of things he loves:

Music and dancing, hitting toys onto everything, shoes, remote controls, phones, anything with buttons,  blocks, sticking leaves and small things he finds on the ground in his mouth, being picked up by Daddy and squacking like a bird when he sees something he wants (usually shoes or phones).

We had a wonderful honeymoon period that lasted almost a whole month before things started getting difficult.  Not soul crushing difficult, but your normal family-transitionally stuff. It was (and is) a challenge that is a daily struggle.  The lack of sleep caught up with us, the stress of being “on” with three kids,  our other kids (especially our new “middle child”) to having a baby brother. We'll make it though.

Upcoming blog posts: Jesus as Spider-Man, Spider-Man as Christ

Hopeful Fragment  Blog Presents:One More Pointless List: 

Things I like about the Winter 

(Important Note: we live in South Texas)

Beautiful, cool and crisp mornings (but not cold)

Rainy, Freezing, Really COLD Days (I mainly like these because they make feel like “Whoa – it’s winter out there” and the fact that I know it will last at the MOST for four days in a row and then we’ll be topping out in the low 60’s again soon)

Bundling up in Bed

The sun is up early in the mornings. I like that.

I like having hearty chili on a cool/cold night.

Hot coffee in the morning on the way to work to help warm up my hands

That’s it fair readers I hope to write sooner rather than later. Take heed of the north wind and know spring is on its way (at least at some point).

I'm Back

So I will write a proper blog soon (maybe tonight)

In the meantime, I will never watch this scene from Indiana Jones the same way. You see I feel this way every time I put the baby down in the middle of the night. The slightest movement, the misecule movement of my arm and EYES WIDE OPEN (or a hearty little scream). Then you have to hold him for another 10-20 minutes, hoping you didn't wake him up for one of those nightmare marathon rocking sessions. 

Does it make it more fun to put the baby down at night thinking I am on an exotic adventure at a dangerous locale?  

Not really, I am usually just worried, stressed and usually really, really tired. 

So, until later tonight or tomorrow or the next night, etc. I bid thee adieu. 

Oh yeah, our new little boy is awesome, in case no one was wondering as no one reads this! 

newsy fragments

We finally got our phone call to pick up our son a few weeks back. This is amazing news for our family not so good for the blog.

Our trip was outstanding no major troubles and I had chance to have a few miniadventures of my own as well. Of course I will blog about it at some point. I typically use our bedroom PC to blog but our little guy will be sleeping in our bedroom for the foreseeable future so...I'm on my kindle fire. Holy crape this ducks writing on this (not making this up....thats actually the way i typed it out).

I know there are people who type on this type of thing all day...but this ain't happening often.

We have three kids now. It's hard.....but ya know not too terrible ....yet. So....I won't be posting for awhile....until then keep your face clean, roll your windows down when driving and have that extra cookie....you deserve it. Fare thee well..

My Kid's Camera

Our oldest child loves taking pictures. It might have something to do with the fact that we taken about 2.1 million pictures of her since birth. Her grandfather bought her a kid's camera (Hello Kitty) awhile back. It takes crappy pictures, but she loves it.


Like most children's art, my daughter's photos are brimming with boldness, purity and innocence. Children take risks with their art - they create it not for art to one-up another artist or for art's sake but because it's fun. 

They don't have much to compare their own art to, so they are free to do what they want without over-thinking. Children can teach us to trust our inner guide and to remind us the joy of creation.
Or maybe she just takes lots of pictures and some are bound to look halfway interesting to her father.

Full Disclosure: I am not posting these photos believing they are some kind of artistic revelation. However, I never undervalue children's art. There's a painting my youngest did a few years ago that I need to get framed - it's more evocative and beautiful than a lot of modern art I've seen.

This is her great grandmother on her mother's side.  Ok, so there are lots of blurry photos in her batch...part of it is she's a kid, the other part is the crappy camera.  The red shirt brought something out in this one that I liked.  It looked more Monet-like than the other blurry shots.  You still see grandma's smile and the woman on the right makes for an interesting contrast.

This is our cat. She sits here for much of the day. C took a ton of photos of the cat....mainly with the cat looking irritated but this one is nicely framed...and...it's not blurry! That's a minor miracle.

Never a dull moment when you're a kid with a camera.

             It's wonderful to see the kid's prospective on life. I also liked the garage reflected back into the car.

This was a nice one of our youngest.

Self Portrait. She did a few of these, so she knew what she was doing.

These last two are taken in our church. You forget how big the world was when you were a kid. I loved this shot as it brought back memories of being small.