Spiritual Masters; or The Dao of Yoda, Jesus and Buddha

The converging and diverging aspects of world religions fascinate me. I imagine when it's all said and done, I'll have quite few posts centered on comparing and contrasting aspects of the many belief systems. With this post I wanted to explore the idea of a spiritual master. The idea of a spiritual master (better known as a guru) is a Hindu, or more broadly, an Eastern concept. While those in the west might not be familiar with the terms, I believe we are more comfortable with the concept than we think. All spiritual masters have much to offer the world and use a familiar pedagogy.

A guru acts as a conduit to the divine for his followers and are thought to literally exude divine energy. Many believers claim they are overcome with feelings of love or peace just in the presence of these spiritual masters. Because of this fact many Hindu guru's are pampered and treated seemingly god-like. From the outside looking in, it might look like a cult of personality. I've witnessed the pedestal treatment personally and it made me feel, well, icky.

The whole washing feet with the hair - kinda "icky" am I right?

Jesus and Buddha were recognized as spiritual masters in their own life times and even after their deaths.  Their followers still seek their wisdom and guidance.

In contrast with the concept of seeking help from a spiritual master is America's emphasis on the individual. We believe humans don't need a "conduit" to the divine. Our belief systems tend to be egalitarian. We like to think, "You're no closer to God than I am". I am intrigued by the idea of spiritual masters because they challenge the idea that we can figure it out intuitively on our own.

Recently when thinking about spiritual masters, my mind instantly thought of one of America's most influential spiritual figures, Yoda.

The iconic image. 

This post will ignore any possible existence of a Yoda after 1985. I will be in denial for the rest of my life.

I don't think it was a simple coincidence that I was baptized after a sermon that used clips from The Empire Strikes Back with scenes that featured Yoda. George Lucas was well versed in Joseph Campbell and Eastern religion traditions...but Yoda transcends his creator's interests.  Yoda (at least pre-prequels) influenced a whole generation with his wisdom.

Using Jesus and Buddha as contrasts; I want to show that Yoda exhibits all the qualities of a successful guru. I don't mean to say that all their messages are the same (because they aren't). I want to show that their teachings share a commonality in their pedagogy and approach.

Spiritual Masters Clarify and Simplify

I think our natural tendency is to complicate things - we build up rules, regulations, rituals, traditions, definitions, etc. We create a theology that helps us "box in" the divine. In a positive sense, these constructs help us understand and think through the idea of "god" but on the other hand they also limit our understanding about what "god" is. Gurus do the opposite - they help illustrate eternal truths.

Buddha: " Hatred is never appeased by hatred in this world. By non-hatred alone is hatred appeased. This is a law eternal"

Jesus: "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"

Yoda: "You must unlearn what you have learned...there is no try; do or do not"

This is just the kinda of depiction Buddha would hate; but it's the INTERWEBZ, so the heck with it.... 

Spiritual Masters Believe the Power of the Ultimate is Accessible

Being "spiritual" is difficult for me. I was raised with the idea that God was "up in heaven". While I might have sung a song about God "living" in my heart - I definitely felt separate from the divine. Spiritual Masters reveal that the Ultimate reality is accessible for all - anywhere. Guru's realize the first step in your journey isn't to become educated, initiated or even holy - the first step is to be aware that right here, right now it is possible to recognize and participate in the truth.

Buddha: "Therefore....be lamps unto yourselves. Rely on yourselves, and do not rely on external help".

Jesus: "Once, having been asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God would come, Jesus replied, "The kingdom of God does not come with your careful observation, nor will people say, 'Here it is,' or 'There it is,' because the kingdom of God is within you."

Yoda: "(The Force's) energy surrounds us and binds us....You must feel the Force around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere, yes...."

Spiritual Masters Teach Non-Retaliation and Non-Aggression

Alright, so I said I was focused on pedagogy - I changed my mind mid-stream...so sue me. This theme happens to resonate with me. In the last 3-4 years I began to try to approach life with a peaceful, non-violent attitude. I find this supremely ironic because as a child I was the first to respond or  retaliate.I relished my revenge fantasies and even hatched successful revenge plots.  I was known in my circle of friends as a "hot-head" and have a list of stories about my lack of non-aggression. Thankfully, time, study and my spiritual life has helped mellow me.  This was the journey I had to take.  All spiritual teachers worthy of any study must address conflict in this manner. I'm sure I'll have more to post on this subject someday.

Buddha: "All tremble at violence. All fear death. Seeing one's self in others, one should neither strike nor cause to strike."

Jesus: "You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth. But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles..."

Yoda: "...Beware...Anger, fear, aggression. The dark side are they. Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny."

Personally, I gotta go with the North Koreans; they sure have it coming...

Coming Attractions

Before I finish my final thoughts for "One Week As a Muslim" I wanted to do a little brainstorming for the blog.

Way Cool Cliche Blog Image

Really on the Back Burner (somewhat completed or conceptal ideas floating around)

Pondering Pac-Man (this is an existential comic strip I have going but I don't have a scanner, so it will have to wait until I figure out how to best post it, yes, it "stars" Pac-Man and the whole gang)

Daoism: Wu Wei Concept

Experiments in Living, Part II (ideas involve mediation or fasting, maybe something else)

Spiritual Masters (currently abandonded but slowly thinking about it)

The Four Stages of Accepting the Wiggles (really - denial, anger, acceptance, happiness)

An untitled essay, part autobiographical- part philosophical on comic books

and finally, more recycled poetry from my past (it's too easy)

Ideas (just that, vague ideas)
Our cat, Rollo
Joel Osteen
The Beauty that is Costco

Things I'll Never Write About
Rhinos
Rainy Saturday Afternoons
American Idol
Glue and its relationship to Horses
Asparagus
Ghost hunting and Ghost "busting"

One Week As A Muslim: Days 6 & 7

I finished up my week as a Muslim and I gotta say the ending of this experiment was a unmitigated disaster.

I would love to give you the blow by blow - but we spent the weekend in a whirlwind of cleaning and doing other stuff required by Father's Day activities that would make your little head spin. The truth is I can barely remember last Thursday, let alone Friday-Saturday (Sunday is actually pretty clear).

It ended with a few prayers on day six and zero, count 'em ZERO on day seven. Technically, it shouldn't even count. I suppose I didn't eat pork on Sunday.

If you consider the thinking, the writing, the planning, and the guilt it feels like I've been meditating on being a Muslim for freakin' month.

List of Things I Learned in one week as a Muslim

Pork is everywhere and more tempting than you might think.

It's hard to get up before 5:00 in the morning, and I consider myself kinda of a morning person

Kids screaming during prayers - makes it difficult to think.

When praying on the floor, check for ants or other bugs that bite.

Being a secret Muslim requires patience and good planning.


Seriously, when I get a little more time I want to write a little more reflective piece on my experiences.

So, I leave thee with bated breath, waiting upon my pontifications of wisdom and charm.

One Week as A Muslim: Days 4 & 5

Days 4 and 5 have come and (almost gone).

I just have to admit it, I am not good at this.

I started off by missing my morning prayer on day four. It's been such a long and eventful two days, that I've even forgotten how that happened. I prayed at work my Dhuhr prayer (around 1:35) and was stung by ants crawling on the floor (the fiends!). I got home right at 5:00 and purposely did not pray because it was 5:00 and my daughters wanted to play and I had to prepare dinner and get them in bed by myself. I was back at for the last two prayers of the day.

Today, I AGAIN missed the morning prayer. This time the cat woke me up at 4:10 - I had to throw her in the garage and I thought, "just as I fall asleep my alarm is going to go off; what am I doing anyway?; I'm not really Muslim...I can make the prayer up at work". Just like that I shut off the alarm...

To my credit, I didn't fall asleep until after 4:40 (yeah, I keep track of stuff like that) and I did do my morning prayer at work. Even still, it felt like I was cheating.

I missed the afternoon prayer this time because I was CRAZY busy helping with registration. I felt guilty leaving my post...that's the simple truth. I should have but this time I thought, "It's not like I have any readers anyway". Um-huh, my internal voice actually said that. But I avoided the pepperoni pizza (boy, was I tempted - absentmindedly, I even had placed it on my plate...but replaced it with a dried up cheese slice).

But I haven't missed a prayer since (the house was briefly empty when I got home) I have to pray again shortly, but plan on doing so.

Look, maybe it's a little presumptuous but today I came up with a much better schedule for prayer (forgive me Allah)

Morning: Whenever you wake up
Mid-Morning: 10:25 (if you wake up after this point, you can make it up later in the day)
Afternoon: 2:25
((Mid-Afternoon Make-up (only if you missed the mid-morning prayer due to a late start): 3:45))
Early Evening: 7:25
Night: Before you go to bed

I like it because it would be spaced out a bit more and it would provide you time to pray at work, when you need it (at least when I need it most!).

Anyway, I'm not changing the game mid-stream just trying to think about what I would have set-up if it was all up to me.

Serious Reflection Time: So, what impact has prayer had on me so far?


It's hard to measure, although I have definitely prayed more than I ever have in my life. At least three times during the day I am making personal prayers to God. I have been focusing on our upcoming adoption and our child's birth mother - but also on our upcoming service project I am organizing.

It's made me even more appreciative than I already was....just reciting, "and my cup overflows" a few times a day is awesome. Reciting really does help you start to believe what you're saying. I thought the prayer might get remote or ritual-like but it has surprisingly stayed fresh. I really try to "feel" what I'm saying.

Never a big fan of even hinting at the "health and wealth" gospel - but I can truly say that this week has led me to realize that I believe "surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life".

Interlude from Joel Osteen: "Ya know it might not have worked for you, but it did for me...check out all this cool, expenisive leopard print stuff.

On the surface it sounds pompous or even arrogant but when I reflect on it; I find it to be true. In a literal sense, I will be a father of three children, I'm married to a wonderful wife and have a wonderful family (in-laws included). Furthermore, I've got some great friends, our church family is great and I love my job. I believe that even when these variables change....I will still be surrounded by love. Furthermore, I will always be journeying with God for the rest of my life. God's love will suffice through all the good and all the hard times to come. In the coming days I write up a little more commentary on these verses I've been reciting....I never thought just simply repeating words would do so much.

Bad Advice From A Dog

My father in-law wore a t-shirt yesterday entitled, "Good Advice from a Dog" - with the usual advice you might think of, like, "Stay loyal", etc. That got me thinking that if dogs could actualy give us advice; most of it would, in fact, be terrible. Without further fanfare....

Bad Advice From A Dog

When meeting someone for the first time, smell their crotch - When hungry, consider your own poop - Freedom is running next to cars as they drive - If the spirit moves you, drag your nasty self all over the floor - If you're owner goes away, and you're nervous, tear shit up - The best form of complimenting a friend is to hump their leg - Tempting smells from the trash need to be investigated - Bite fleas & ticks, take dirt baths frequently - Go ahead, lick your balls

Obligatory "Wacky Dog" Photo for "Wacky" blog post.

Reflective Aside:  When I stop to think about it, it's funny to think that as I have gotten older I have progressively disliked dogs with each passing year for no particular reason I can currently think of. 

One Week As A Muslim: Day 3: Imagining "God"

After the total failure of last week, I was back in the saddle again as a "Muslim".

Once again, I was back up before dawn and found it surprisingly easier than before. I recited my prayer without the print out and was tuned in as if I didn't skip a beat (falling back to sleep is always a little bit of an issue but still not too bad).

While I've gotten better at my recitation - one aspect of the prayer gives me pause. During the prostration you are supposed to "reflect on the glory of God" or something like that. As described elsewhere it this is the nonverbal part of the prayer - the most vague - I have the hardest time with.

If you say the word "God" to most westerner's you usually get 1-2 images that come to mind. One is the classic old man with a beard in a white robe. The other image is the stereotypical image of Jesus. In my case, my image of God comes from the picture printed on the inside of my Bible I had as a child. Ya know the one, he's on the cross, nearly naked, looking like he's in pain - bearded, long hair, etc. When someone says, "God"; that's usually the image that comes to mind.

So at 4:58 in the morning I find myself prostrated trying to reflect on the glory of God...and I got....nothing. Sometimes that picture of Jesus pops into my head. Other times I picture photos from the Hubbell telescope. Otherwise, my mind acts like it does during meditation. Meaning, it's here or there but not really focused (I had a really good meditation session once - but that's a different post for another night).

In Islam, the depiction of God is prohibited. If you visit a mosque or Islamic Center - you'll find relatively bare walls with the only decoration being Arabic calligraphy with verses from the Qur'an. When you Google "Allah" a bunch of images of the word "Allah" come at you.

Example Above: Way too afraid to make a joke.

 Is this what Muslims see in their mind's eye when they hear the word "Allah"?


Also interesting is that images of the word "Allah" can be seen in the darnest places (much like the Virgin Mary) - "Allah" in the clouds, "Allah" in the water and my favorites, "Allah"on a piece of (disputed) fruit;  "Allah" on a cow.

Can't wait to see "Allah" & the Virgin Mary on same pizza someday.

Anyway, back on topic - I think Islam has the right idea. Humans are always trying to make God more recognizable, or familiar. In many ways, this can be a good thing but on the other hand, God can't be and shouldn't be put in a box. While I might believe God's consciousness or form was temporarily in human form - "God" transcends outside the realm of human existence. God is neither male nor female, body nor spirit - God transcends all earthly ideas of life itself - leaving humans with our limited imaginations of what God might be.

So, I'll be working on what to say, think or imagine in the coming days....in the end, I'd like to think God believes it's the thought that counts.

Guilt and Loathing in The Lost Weekend As a Muslim

The whirlwind of days 3-6 are just about over (two hours and counting) and my "Muslim" faith didn't survive.

I have a truckload of excuses. We were getting ready for our massive garage sale fundraiser all day and all-night Friday (and believe me the work required was massive). I was literally doing something all day Friday-Sunday. There were no breaks and I managed 4 hours sleep on Friday.

I could chalk it up to bad timing....but really, the truth is, I've failed.

weird, huh? that's kinda how i felt though.

I haven't had one prayer since early Thursday evening or early Friday (I can't even remember it feels like years ago). When I wasn't busy - I could start to feel the guilt setting in. I've heard of Catholic guilt but I gotta say, Muslim guilt could be pretty bad. I could Google it, but I'm too tired. If I had readers, maybe they could look it up for me.

SERIOUS SIDENOTE: how do these bloggers do it?  I mean seriously?!!??

Saturday was the crescendo of it all. I was physically beat and I actually felt almost all of my near 33 years (on a daily level I feel between 27-29 and a half years).

I feel asleep on the couch reading right after I tucked our oldest in at about 9:00. I knew I wasn't waking up at 4:50 in the morning. I was already been deflated and defeated.

Sunday came and church and lawn work followed (as we were having people over and the back yard looked like a jungle)....anyway, today I went to work and faced the first day of registration on my feet for most of day.

I just keep thinking, "I can't believe I gave up on all this after TWO measly days". two - days and I was toast.

So, I am restarting this experiment tomorrow morning. It was definitely a rough patch. I could give up and call it a day...after all, this is a "fragment" blog. So, I am restarting day three tomorrow and submitted all over again (takes a deep breath).