Poem Post: The Wall

It's been awhile since I've posted a poetry post, so, this one's for you, you wacky poetry fans!

(Wait! come back, it's a short one, I promise!....hello?..... anyone there?)


.......(ahem).......


the wall
I can't seem to find a torch to carry  
or a willing ear 
but my silent wall is waiting like always
It's still here
waiting when no one else does
carrying its burden like an old friend would.


This was written in 2004 (but of course, modified just a tad right now).  This was written in the era when I was running out of things to write about. I am unsure if I meant "the wall" to be literal (as in I was talking to myself) or the "blank wall" of the computer, waiting to receive my thoughts on the screen.  

From 1995-2002,  I had used poetry as a form of self reflective therapy. Poetry was a safe place for me to communicate my thoughts and feelings without having to actually share them with anyone.  I know that sounds so dysfunctional, but it worked at the time.  Often, I would listen to music and riff off a lyric or theme and just let my writing wander here, there and everywhere.  Sometimes I would even uncover deep dark feelings I would have had  trouble articulating even to myself without the use of poetry.  At one point, I was writing almost every night and it was a lot of fun, to boot.

However, once the emotional turbulence over relationships and career were over, I found myself struggling to find my voice as a poet. I was happy with life and found little to write about. I was also busier, I was working more hours and needed to tend to my new marriage. I tried writing about politics but it felt wrong (well, there's one I am quite fond of, that I will share one day).  So, this poem reflects how I saw writing itself - as my sounding board to my life that was trusty but fading away with adulthood.