A) When we ask a loved one what they think (when we're really asking for approval)
B) Advertising
I mean, we expect it.
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| I hate Burger King. About 8 years ago I swore I would never eat it again. Then I was stuck at an oil change place about a year ago and the free Wi-Fi at the next door Burger King enticed me. I got a drink and then I was hungry and I decided how bad could fried processed chicken be? It was awful, never again!!!!! |
As long as the exaggeration is not egregious, I'm cool with it. It could be pointed out that the above example would be "egregious" but no one goes to fast food not knowing what they are getting into. I know they are trying to sell their crap, they exaggerate, no biggie.
I was shopping for a used car several years ago and the ad that was placed said the interior was in "perfect condition". I thought, "Well, maybe they are really trying to say, 'it's really well maintained'". So I test drive the thing only to find the back seat completely ripped up (from the looks of it, from a fountain pen). I mean the car sucked anyway, but it made me a little angry. BECAUSE HE LIED.
This all brings me back to comic books, and really, what doesn't bring you back to comic books anyway??
With a few exceptions I don't really read new comic books. I pretty much collect mid 70's to very early 90's. However, I doubt anything has really changed. In the summer I bought a stash of comics and noticed a trend. There were a lot of misrepresented covers on these particular comics.
As anyone will tell you the MOST important thing about the comic is the cover. A good cover and the comic will sell itself without anyone even cracking it open. I've bought many a comic that had an amazing cover but the story sucked. So, the temptation is there, you know, to let us say, fib just a little on what actually happens inside the comic. Ya know, just a teensy bit. So, let us explore some examples:
Example # 1 Marvel Fanfare # 2 (1982)
This is such a cool cover (it's a wrap-around actually). It's colorful, it's action packed and it's actually honest. I mean these dudes fight the X-Men for a few pages. Pretty much sets up who the heroes and villains are in the story and reveals one of the major plot points.
I picked up this for a two bucks at the used bookstore. This is such a classic comic: wonderful art, a colorful rehashing of the previous storyline, lots of exposition (that works) and of course the action, and finally a cliffhanger ending. The thing I hate about new comics is the emphasis on art. They have these wonderful scenes but it takes all of 5 minutes to read the damn thing that costs 4 bucks! Makes no sense. In earlier eras, they packed action but also lots of conversations and exposition. Maybe I just like old stuff. The comic has a nice 10 page Hawkeye story too.
Honesty Level: FOUR STARS (out of four stars)
Example # 2 Shogun Warriors # 2 (1978)
Let's get this out of the way. This is a stupid comic. I have a high tolerance for dumb comics and this one blew away all of my expectations. There was one cool part where the old "Mr. Miyagi" guy reveals an underground training tunnel but that just leads to a boring and totally unnecessary scene, in which the new robot bodies can show off their "powers" by destroying training equipment.
Anyway, back to the topic at hand - the battle portrayed above DOES NOT HAPPEN. In fact, as indicated above, not much of anything happens except a huge set-up for a battle that DOES NOT HAPPEN.
Apparently only one of the huge "robots" had seen any "action" the issue before and the other two were introduced in this issue (remember, in all-important, under-ground cave training action). So the "leader" of the Shogun Warriors (that's the big dumb robot-looking things) goes to fight some huge, generic MUD MAN (that he already faced last issue). He fires one shot at the MUD DUDE, saves a train that was going to fall off the bridge that the MUD GIANT had demolished. Then, the MUD FIEND splits into three giants: FIRE MONSTER, WATER-GIANT-TROLL and still, the huge MUD THING. Other two "good guys" show up, and.....ISSUE OVER.
Honesty Rating: 1 STAR (out of 4 Stars).
One star because the comic actually did introduce new characters as portrayed on cover and technically, they did join the battle -- but it just didn't start yet.
Example # 3 Web of Spider-Man #16 (1986)
Okay, this cover looks intriguing. You got a scary dude with a hat on and a reaper-thingy. Then a buff white dude with a pitchfork with SPIDEY'S MASK ON IT!?!? Looks like maybe a serial-killing red-neck cult is involved. Wait a sec ---DOES SPIDER-MAN DIE!?!?! Also, note not ONE but two HUGE promotional boxes. This is a warning sign. The more boxes, the crappier the storyline inside the comic.
Inside the boxes, it's a pure hyperbole - otherwise known as lies. These are evil lies told to children to rip the 75 cents from their little stubby fingers. The lie is so good but your eyes might not be - so here's the content of the box at the bottom of the cover:
"If you buy only ONE comic this month, face it, True Believer -- THIS is IT!"
I know, I know, this is a set-up storyline (as the other promotional thing tells us it's the first in a series of a new storyline). And no one, not even a 7 year-old is going to think they are going to kill Spider-Man. But still....
The spooky red-neck guys do chase down a mother and child (the cover seems to show two adults) but there is NO SPIDER-MAN to be seen. This all happens in the first two pages. Then the huge set-up begins - Peter Parker getting crapped on for a few pages (of course) and then Parker and another reporter (Joy Mercado) go out on location to an small Appalachian town where some weird stuff is going on. The locals don't like the reporters, Peter and Joy fights off a gang of dudes and then they hide, they are quickly discovered, get captured, and then are led to an underground secret hide-out. Peter escapes, changes to his Spidey uni, beats up a couple of guards in four panels and on the last page (full-page reveal) some dude named Magma is behind it all. That's it. Pretty boring.
No scary encounter with spooky red-necks.
Spider-Man doesn't lose his mask, nor is he in any real danger.
Finally, the plot is pretty garden-variety for comics (the whole small-town gone weird or small town population missing thing is a common trope).
Honesty Rating: 0 STARS (out of 4 stars).
I know the editor was in a quandary as there is nothing in the plot that was really that exciting. At all. However, using a generic cover could have worked (just Spidey flying through the air or something cool like that). However, the hype of the boxes on the cover are just inexcusable.
So, there ya have it. One more reason not to trust anyone attempting to sell you something.
I could go on and on with a few more examples but then I would get bored and not be writing at my top level and I wouldn't want to disappoint you and lie about something now would I?
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