How I Met Your Mother V: The Timing of Fleeting Feelings (2001)

There are times in life that you think you can "will" things to change.

You think you can love someone so much that they will have to love you back. That evening in late 2000 didn't change anything with Marie. I was told it was only a "fleeting feeling". Later I told Marie that, "everything in life is in the timing and we had everything but the timing". For whatever reason, that night just wasn't enough to change her mind. I was right about one thing though- timing was everything. I just didn't know how blessed I was in that department.

That winter and spring (2001) I was busy with substitute teaching and graduate school. The summer came but the magic and fun of 2000 couldn't be re-created. Philip now had a steady girlfriend in Doris and we only went to Midnight Rodeo about 5-6 times the entire summer (and with a notably smaller crew). However the summer of 2001 was different. I started gaining confidence in asking other women to dance at Midnight Rodeo. I dated a couple of girls that summer and even though neither worked out; they only emboldened me to do things I never dreamed about doing before. I even asked for the number of a checker at Barnes & Noble (I did score the number but after one odd phone conversation it seemed well enough to leave it at just that). I remained hopeful that I would find love - maybe it was just around the corner.

If the Marie Saga seemed to have come to inglorious end, your mother's own drama was just heating up. Her boyfriend Rick was back in Baton Rouge but JJ was here in San Antonio. Kathryn and JJ saw each other a few times as friends but it became clear that he wanted her back. Kathryn was having doubts - maybe JJ really was the guy for her?

In July, Rick came into town for Kathryn's birthday. JJ asked me if he thought he should send flowers to Kathryn's house for her birthday. I didn't think that much of it really, so I said "sure". Rick had already had issues with Kathryn's friendship and contact with JJ. When the flowers were delivered, Rick was furious. He blew up at Kathryn and said she should have given the flowers back to the delivery man. He was losing his cool and from my vantage point, this made JJ look even better.

I found myself in a conundrum. I was Kathryn's friend but I was also loyal to JJ. I wasn't real impressed with what I was hearing about Rick but I didn't want to trash the guy either. Of course most boyfriends aren't thrilled when an ex-boyfriend is sending flowers. He had every right to feel defensive. When I spoke to your mother I parsed my words carefully when the topic of Rick or JJ came up (which was often). Deep down, I really wanted to see Kathryn get back together with JJ. After all, I might not have gotten my girl back but I could work the case for my friend.

The year before it had felt like Kathryn was my confidant. This year our roles had reversed. We trusted each other enough to share each other's deepest fears and concerns. Besides all the serious stuff, we just liked hanging out together. Somehow on my birthday I found myself alone (no, seriously I don't know how this happened).  I was watching TV in my room when Kathryn called to see what I was doing for my birthday. I told her I was just watching TV but it was clear that this was going to be unacceptable. Within minutes she picked me up and took me to dinner at Chili's. You see I loved your mother before we ever kissed. I loved her as friends do.

Kathryn and I visited Eric one night when he came into town to visit his parents. The seasonal and holiday get-together's at the Schmidt house were becoming few and far between as more and more of the crew found themselves moved away, married or otherwise preoccupied with life. I don't remember the exact circumstances but we found ourselves talking on the tailgate of my truck under the stars in front of the Schmidt's house. We were talking about Rick and JJ again when Kathryn started to cry. I ached for her as I helped dry her tears. That moment has always stayed with me.

Kathryn only had a few days before she was going back to Baton Rouge. It was the last real weekend of the summer and we found ourselves going to Leon Springs Dance Hall with Danny and Jenny. We had a great time and danced all night. We knew each other's gait and every move; we really were dance partners. It was a little odd because this night felt like a double-date, as Danny and Jenny were already romantically involved. As much as I was trying to deny it, I liked the way it felt. It was getting late and as the hall was clearing out - we all started for the door. I don't remember whose idea it was but we decided for one last dance of the summer. 

The dance floor was practically cleared as we began to dance to a slow song. We danced underneath the always on Christmas lights and as we did;  it seemed something was different. The slow dance had brought out something in both of us; a tension that had never quite been there before. I had tried to deny this feeling because Kathryn was already confused between two guys. Besides, I was JJ's friend - this just couldn't happen.

There are moments in life that make you feel almost electric almost more alive than usual. For me, this was one of those special moments. Much later, I came to find out that it was during this dance, for the very first time your mother thought of me as possibly "more than friend". She told me it was only a "fleeting feeling" but we already know how important those can be.  That last dance of the summer was the real start to how your mother and I fell in love.

How I Met Your Mother Part IV : Two Steps Forward, One Step Back (1999-2000)

My last year in college (1999-2000) proved to be a lonely one. All my close friends graduated in the fall and I couldn't find a roommate in the spring. I learned what real solitude was and I found out it isn't all that bad (at least in small doses). I was discovering myself by exploring the arts - I turned my roommate's room into my art exhibition hall of my paintings (mainly badly done abstract art). I also was turned on to great music (The Beach Boys, Bach, Nirvana, etc.), watched a lot of Woody Allen movies and wrote love-sick poetry.  Sometime late that fall I found out Marie had a boyfriend at LSU. In some ways I reveled in the heartbreak, channeling my loss into the art I was creating.

Summer was approaching and Marie let me know she would be spending the summer in Dallas with her sister. I was bummed but a little bit relieved. Marie's parents lived two streets down from our house so I was always running into her. When she was in town, I found that even driving by her street I was tempted to give her a call. I told myself I was ready for a new start in life (even if I didn't totally believe myself).


Quick Note: Did your dad ever date other people besides your mother and Marie? The answer is yes but let's just let those stories be forgotten.  


In May I graduated and moved back home to go to graduate school in San Antonio. My friend from A&M Jeff had moved back to San Antonio in the fall and he suggested we go to Midnight Rodeo on it's Wednesday's "College Night". I wasn’t thrilled with the prospect of going to a country dance bar but I had to admit the club was absolutely huge and this meant there would be tons of cute girls. Jeff brought his friend Toby and I brought my friend Philip to the club. We were there early and hung out along the sides of the large, circular dance floor. Sure there were "normal" people like us, but at least a third of the men were wearing cowboy hats. This just wasn't my style....but it just so happened that one of those "cute girls" at the dance hall that night was your mother.

Kathryn was there with Christina and Jenny (yes, both from the choir crew and you all know Jenny today). We introduced everyone and we had a great time that night. This pairing worked for both groups; the guys had cute dance partners and looked cool hanging out with girls (think of it this way, if we are already hanging out with cute girls, then the other women must think these girls were on to something). Meanwhile, the girls got non-aggressive, semi-normal dance partners and the protection from creepy guys by hanging out with us. In fact, we had so much fun we made it our weekly get together every Wednesday.

I hadn't planned on dancing at the club that night as I didn't exactly know how to two-step (the standard country dance). Kathryn was patient enough to teach me that first night how to dance the two-step. She was gentle and encouraging with my clumsy effort. I loved dancing with all of the girls in our group but Kathryn soon became my "dance partner" out of the group. She gave me advice and encouraged me to ask other women to dance.

This was when Kathryn really became a true confidant to me. We were finally becoming real friends and not "friends in passing". She knew my past and she was finding out even more about me from Jeff and Philip. Sure I was attracted to her but I had already ceded her to JJ in my head.  I didn't know all the details but I knew they had feelings for each other and whatever they had was...well...complicated.  Besides, JJ was my friend and I didn't want to step on my friend's toes, even if I was dancing with his girl.

Within a few weeks my friend Jeff asked for Kathryn's number from me. I thought about it, "Why would you need her number...Ooooooh, I see..." He was going to ask her out. I was in shock but played it off as best I could. There was no doubt about it, I felt a little weird about the whole thing. It seemed like she danced with me more than anyone else, I mean wasn't it clear that we were the ones with the connection?

Jeff and Kathryn dated for the last two months or so of the summer. It wasn't anything serious (they both said as much) but I was still silently jealous. What could I do?  One weekend in July I even managed to go on a double-date with Jeff and Kathryn with friend of Kathryn's, Heather. We had a good time but Heather and I weren't a good match.   

Those Wednesday nights were a blast. Youth is a wonderful thing and we celebrated being young that summer (maybe even a little too much). There was dancing, hi-jinks, late nights that spilled into the early morning, more dancing, late night tacos, and lots of laughs. But it all had to end eventually. In August, Kathryn and the girls headed back to their respective schools, Jeff moved to Tennessee and Philip got his first "real" job out of college. It just wasn't the same. The rest of us (myself, Toby and Philip) even stopped going out on Wednesday nights all together.

Meanwhile at LSU, Kathryn started dating a guy named Rick. She seemed to be happy at first, so I was happy for her. I got Marie updates from Kathryn (remember, they were roommates) and I gave Kathryn updates to JJ here in SA. It was a little dysfunctional informational pipeline. That fall it became clear to JJ that he missed Kathryn and he wanted her back. He and I were in the same boat, as Marie was still dating her boyfriend, Clinton. It's true that misery loves company but we were becoming really good friends outside drying each other's tears. JJ and I would often meet up at Sonic for drinks and have long conversations about love, women, sports, pop culture, and life in general. In the fall 2000, I became convinced JJ was the right man for your mother.

Sometime in the fall Marie came back into town. We even went out to dinner which felt weird as she had a boyfriend. I didn't mind at all though, after all, we were just "friends". We had been keeping in sporadic communication that fall, but I was playing the long game.  This meant being patient and not making any rash decisions. I was going to try to play it cool and be the friend even though I was a mess underneath it all. You might wonder if I had any intentions of being her friend and the honest answer was no. I wasn't going to aggressively flirt with her but my goal was to show her that we still had something between us. 

My first semester of full-time graduate school was tough but still a success. Christmas was on its way and that meant everyone was coming back into town. It seemed like momentum was building towards the Christmas party for both JJ and I. Kathryn had been hosting Christmas parties at her house since 1996 - and most everyone from our old gang would be there. The Christmas parties were always so fun and this year was no exception.

As the party was winding down, many of us wanted to go to Midnight Rodeo to dance. Your mother stayed at the party with JJ while a contingent from the party (along with Marie and I) went to Midnight Rodeo.  I don't remember a lot about Midnight Rodeo but I was putting the skills your mother taught me to task. Marie and I danced for much of the time and this time everything felt right (although maybe that was just the beer). She drove me home and I found out the truth in the cliche -"breaking up is hard to do".  We embraced and kissed. This was the moment I had been waiting for. It vindicated all my heartbreak and feelings I had for Marie. It was true, we were meant to be after all.

How I met your Mother: Part III: It was the Worst of Times (1999)

It was 9:00 AM on January 1, 1999. I was driving home from Elizabeth Trevino's New Year's Eve party and I was on top of the world. After much communication between Marie and I in the fall of 98', we had gotten back together in December and it felt like everything was going my way. We had a great time at the party with the whole choir crew and I remember thinking as I drove home, "So far, this year has been perfect". Little did I know my world was going to be crashing down around me in the coming year.

In just a few short weeks, on Friday, February 12th - Mikey died in a car accident. Most everyone from the choir crew was able to make it back to San Antonio from their various universities to the memorial service and funeral. It was all so terribly sad. Mikey was the glue of our little circle of friends - her passing made the group feel closer than ever before. One of the best things I can say about Mikey was that she was an individual - she was her own person. Those of us who loved her still miss her.

Sometime that terrible weekend, Marie suggested she thought it would be a good idea if we weren't an exclusive couple anymore. She thought it might be good for us to see other people as it seemed to her that we were getting too serious. I was shocked - not only at the thoughtless timing of the idea but that this was even happening all over again. In March my Mom was diagnosed with an aggressive case of breast cancer. In that 2-3 month period I had never felt so much anger and sadness in my life.

It wasn't all bad though. That spring I ran for Student Body President (as a joke/protest candidate), my friend and roommate Doug and I had our first and last "real" college party and we usually had a blast at doing whatever hi-jinks we were up to. Nonetheless, all my fun still couldn't mask the sadness I had inside.

Your mother and I weren't in contact much at all that semester. I think she had her own long-distance relationship drama as JJ (who was at Texas State). That summer I went to school and worked in College Station. I didn't come in town all that much as I had to occasionally work on Saturdays. Sometime during the summer I made it back into town to see friends and visit the folks.

Our friend Danny was moving into a new apartment and it seems like he solicited just about everyone he knew to help. After we finished the move, we ordered pizzas and hung out at the new place. Eventually a movie got put on, but I was restless and wound up in the kitchen talking with whoever was there. At some point Kathryn came in to get a drink and we talked for the first time in a very long time. I remember sliding around on my socks as spoke (although this may well be wrong, because, after all,  I'm found of sliding around in my socks at all times). During our conversation I was reminded that Kathryn was (and is) just an all-around good person. Surprisingly, I felt at home with her even though the past few years we hadn't really talked much at all.

Because your mom is such a sweetheart she listened to me as I unloaded to her about my heartbreak over Marie (no, of course I wasn't over her). She even told me Marie still spoke about me at LSU and this gave me much needed hope. For the first time, it dawned on me that Kathryn could be getting me good intel from LSU. I could have a spy on the "inside" in the fall!

That school year Kathryn and I emailed each other a few times and we spoke a little more often. Generally, we sought out each other's company a little more at our group's social functions. A new friendship was forming, one that we both could have never imagined would wind up being so important. We were going to best friends one day.

OCD Fragments

Figured I would write some Fragments...it's been awhile.

Finally finished my Star Trek The Next Generation marathon (of which I had probably seen 15-20% of the episodes). I started in early August and finished in the middle of January. I was actually quite sad to end it all - knowing that I would never see a "new" episode again. I will have to write about it soon. Kinda scared to start another rewatch (mainly due to getting sucked in and what my wife would do).

No, she wouldn't be verbally angry at me but she would be so saddened our house would explode and that would be bad because I want all of us to live.

Started writing on the Qur'an, some hadiths and the gospel of John. That is forthcoming but taking a backseat to my personal history obsession I am on right now. 

If I had regular readers, at this point I would apologize as it has been pretty self indulgent lately. I have more general stuff planned, if you (non-existent audience) care. But since you don't exist, you get no apology.

On a serious Ramones kick. I can't stop listening. It helped emusic sent me another free subscription. Weird. I love Rocket to Russia, Leave Home and The End of the Century the most thus far.

Okay, so it's one of their big ones but damn if it's not awesome:



Ya know what's weird --PBS Kids has a promo with "Blister in the Sun" music playing in the background. Uh...kinda creepy. Someone snuck that one in there.

Started keeping track of the money I find on the ground this year. So far, 45 cents. Not too shabby and pretty lucky. I don't know that this tells you about me. Earlier this year I tried to keep track how many days I brought a jacket to work. I know, I know - OCD. But I always forgot so I stopped. I can get obsessive about stuff, luckily it's harmless stuff.

Today, I started working out for the first time in years - the last time I regularly worked out was 2003. I just want to get some definition and not get heart disease and die.

Wanting to buy a Kindle Fire (fighting guilt and shame for buying a new product - seriously).

Poem Post: In the City

Dig, dig, dig, working like a little historian in my old files and remembering so much that I had forgetten. Reading through mainly (bad) poetry, I discovered this little gem I had forgotten about from 2001. Enjoy (or not).

In the city

echoes heard on the street
thieves and thugs hide from the heat
the beatnik punks hunched over like chimps
the heroin hooker and her coke head pimp
they spend the night coldlamping with creeps
walking along the hell-lit streets
the drifters huddle because it's cold
the schzio bum is dying alone
you pick up your pace....and hurry home.

Notes from College

So I have been writing a series of posts on "How I Met Your Mother" and this led me to digging through old files (digital and physical) and got me interested in creating a proper timeline of events, even events outside the realm of the HIMYM posts.

Couldn't help but laugh at my notes from my senior history seminar from 2000. My senior seminar was on historical fiction - we were able to select any time period in history and create a story on it. The idea was great - I had a great time and learned a lot working on my story. However, I didn't learn very much during our class time. During class we spent much of our time discussing various historical fiction that he had assigned for us to read. I remember the class being very slow and our prof being partially disabled. It was awkward at times. Judging from these notes, I guess we didn't stay on-topic very well.

I had a little fun with my notes this particular day (timing awkward pauses) and our professor enjoyed talking about drugs. What a waste of a class.

From February 29, 2000. Some of the notes I am unsure of the meaning...

Need a pay-off scene (for our story) / PJ walks in / Tastes in books / Silence - 35 seconds / Weather? / More Silence 59 seconds / Battle of Honey Hill / Complaint of 10 page paper length / Challenge of tears / Silence - 23 seconds / Amphetamines / Ritalin Use / Fighting Ritalin girls / Selling extra Ritalin/ Silence - 35 seconds / Sprite bottle tricks /Questions over class schedule? / Joking of quitting / Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire? TV Show / New shows / A story/ Silence / Good feeling about this class / Hard tests? / Teacher evaluation / Bad grad student / Logistical nightmare of a prof quitting in the middle of a semester / T.A.S. / Silence / Coast Guard pranks / turn in paper /end

How I Met Your Mother, Part II : Lessons Learned (1995-1998)

For as long as I can remember I wanted to fall in love. I had dated a number of different girls but I felt like I had never really made that deep connection. Maybe it was a false sense of expectation or maybe I watched too many movies but I dreamed, even yearned to fall in love. I have a notebook full of bad poetry to prove it too.

Well, every dog has his day and one rainy summer night, it finally happened.

Like most good love stories, the beginning of our relationship was quite unexpected. I was attending a community musical (The Mikado) with Eric, Mikey and her boyfriend BJ to see a number of our choir friends perform, including your mother. After the play was over, the whole crew talked and we made plans to eat at IHOP. After dinner a few of us hung out at the Eric and Mikey's house to watch a movie. I sat on the couch and ended up talking for hours over a People magazine with a very cute girl.

Sure we had known each other before that night, but this time something was different. Most girls I had dated didn't seem to have strong opinions and the dates I went on felt awkward (surely it wasn't me that was the awkward one, right?). While this wasn't a date - it was very, very intriguing. I drove home that night excited about the possibilities. I didn't know it but I had just fallen in love for the first time.

This, of course, was not the night I fell in love with your mother - that wouldn't be for awhile.

It was 1997 when Marie and I started dating. This was my first "real" relationship and I was happier than I had ever been. Marie and I shared a wonderful summer that was a boon to my notebook as it was now being filled up with love poems. We shared an ability to deconstruct anything and anyone. Our conversations reveled in discussing minutia, the mundane and the design flaws of restaurants. It was a Seinfeld fan's dream come true. The one complication that hung over the summer was that I had just been accepted at Texas A&M and would be leaving in the fall.

Meanwhile, your mother was in a relationship with our mutual friend, JJ. Do I have to even say it? Yes, he was part of the choir crew as well.

Note: This choir crew was a loosely organized group. It wasn't a tight knit group although at times, it could be. Between, 1995-2000, we had about 12-15 consistent members without accounting for the various additional boyfriends or girlfriends and a rotating cadre of guest stars who would enter our group for seasons at a time.  I would say only a few times a year would the group be all together.  As incestuous as it all sounds, I was the only one (besides your mother) who seriously dated more than one of the members of the group. Looking back I am surprised there wasn't more dating from within the group. 

JJ and Kathryn dated for a long time. They were great together. I loved both of them as friends and I remember thinking that they would be one of those couples that would be married shortly after college.  They seemed to get along so well.  Marie and I even went out on a double date that summer with the lovely couple (both your mother and I have vivid memories of this date at Carraba's).

While we were happy in our own little worlds, your mother and I can barely have said to have a friendship from late 1995- 1998. Of course we were friendly but we usually only saw each other at parties or at the Schmidt's house during a break from school. I do have one distinct memory of talking with Kathryn at the Schmidt's house one Christmas break in 1996. Most of the guys were throwing a football outside but Kathryn and I chatted on the couch for about half an hour. It was the first time I realized that Kathryn had changed since we had dated. She seemed different.  She didn't seem so much like the "goody goody" label I had placed on her. She was a real person - and cute.  

Well, that magical summer of 97' finally came to an end. Marie and I decided to try the "long distance relationship" otherwise known as sure-fire failure to all people under the age of 21. We maintained our relationship during the fall semester and I visited a few times throughout the fall. In retrospect I think I didn't visit as often as much as I should have. During the holidays, we were reunited and we (seemingly) had a great time - I was still in love.

At the famous annual Christmas Party (1997).  

By February (1998) - something changed for Marie. She didn't like the long distance between us but the bigger issue was she had the hots for some lunk head at the gym. So, my first foray into love had fizzled out. For the record the guy from the gym had an abnormally large head (having said that he could probably tie me into a pretzel had I ever told him that to his face).

I was devastated. The night we broke up was the night before a geography exam. I was living in the dorms on campus and I shared a room - I was going to have to cry somewhere else. I walked around aimlessly on the dark campus trying to make sense of it all and sniffle in the cold. I visited the chapel for the warmth but I soon realized I still had to study. I went straight to bed and bombed it the next day. Don't let it be said your father isn't a romantic.

Thus began the long (and very annoying) Saga of Marie (pending trademark). You see this wasn't the end of our relationship - it was only the beginning of an on-again-off-again romantic relationship and then the not friends-best of friends-maybe friends that kiss and then not friends at all thing. I will spare you the details, but some will be forthcoming as they are necessary to understand how your mother and I finally starting dating again. Later that spring Marie and Kathryn decided to attend LSU together in the fall of 1998.

While the Saga of Marie continued, so did life. I liked my new life at A&M but I still felt a little bit like the odd man out.  I was still adjusting to my new life with a whole new set of friends in College Station.  However, in the summer of 1998 and continuing into the fall, I changed. I had been evolving ever since my senior year in high school but now I fully loosened up to the possibilities of who I could be. It was as if I had finally let the up-tight, conservative, know-it-all Neil finally be put to rest. I was having a blast but I just couldn't put Marie behind me.

Sometimes in life there are roads we have to take before we find our redemption. I could have never been the man I was for you mother without my experiences with Marie. For all the drama and pain, I owe Marie a debt of gratitude. She taught me so much about myself and about what I wanted from a serious relationship. More importantly, she made me believe I could be loved back and was worthy of romantic love.

I don't necessary believe in destiny (although maybe you could sell me on a destiny-lite with a strong dash of free-will --but get back to me on that in a decade or two). What I do know is that we always have choices. Choices on how to respond and what to do when we hurt. Chances are someday you will have a broken, messed up, heart-breaking relationship.  I don't wish it on anyone, but often that's part of growing up. I hope you put in the work to find the meaning for yourself. Just remember, every heartbreak has to end sometime.

Pic Dump # 3

Saving random JPEGS, because someone has to.....

How I Met Your Mother Part I: False Start is the Right Start (1994-1995)

My wife and I recently celebrated our 10th anniversary of being a couple. The memories are getting hazy...so I decided to write a little about how "we" came to be.
Sometimes the most important moments of your life happen when you're not ready. You see I don't remember the first time I met your mother.

Well obviously, this post is not about the show. But after starting this post my wife got hooked on this show on Netflix. One of the few shows that actually makes me laugh out loud.

It must have been in the fall of 1994, maybe in the Marshall High School choir room or maybe at the Schmidt's house. If there's a place where our story turns, it turned at our mutual friend's Eric and Mikey's house. I was best friends with Eric and your mother was good friends with his younger sister, Mikey.

I wonder what that moment was like - I wish I could be a fly on the wall and watch that moment unfold. I wonder if we spoke for longer than a few moments or if there was a spark in either of our eyes (probably unlikely in both cases). However, we'll never know and if there's a lesson to be had in this section of the story - it's that life doesn't always work out the way you plan. And maybe that's the beauty of it all.

In 1994 I was a senior in high school and Kathryn was a freshmen. I had hated high school up until that point. I don't think I would have quite verbalized it that way, but I was secretly miserable. Eric talked me into joining choir that year and I am glad he did.  I was welcomed into a tight knit group of great guys. I would like to tell you it's because they were charmed by your dear old dad but the truth is Eric was the ring-leader of the "men's" choir and I was his best friend. Choir made me feel like I belonged. I had never felt that way at school before.

I remember hanging around in the choir room and music hallway after school. Bunches of students would show up and we would hang out and talk. I was good friends with Mikey  and with Mikey came more contact with cute underclassmen girls. This might come as a surprise to you, but your father was no ladies man (commence laughing)....so my appearance after school in the music hallway made sense. Usually Eric would take home a car load of students and I usually took 1-2 people home as well.

I have at least one distinct memory of taking Kathryn home at some point in the fall.  Maybe this was the first time I really thought she was cute...I don't know why this particular time stands out in my mind. I do know I ended up taking Kathryn home often as we lived in the same neighborhood. By late 1994 or early 1995, I liked your mother quite a bit. I don't remember if I asked Mikey to get the low down or if she asked Kathryn on her own. All I remember I wasn't going to ask Kathryn out without already knowing the answer. I figured Mikey was putting the good word in for me with Kathryn as well. When I got the "go-ahead" I asked Kathryn to a Valentine's Dinner at Fiesta Texas (a fundraiser for our "Project Graduation") and of course, she said yes.

As there was a choir group performing, many of our mutual friends were going. So it felt more safe to make it a double-date, we went with Mikey and her friend, Chris Locke.  We crammed all four of us into my little Toyota truck (which could legally and safely only sit three). I have a picture from this first date but I will not post it because let's just say no one is required to completely embarrass oneself on the internet.  Suffice to say in these days I had "Conan O'Brien" hair before it was cool (oh wait, it never was, was it?).

yes. just imagine this do' on an awkward teenager wearing the best from Mervyn's. it's really sad to think with a few minor adjustments for fashion sense, attitude and hair style my life in high school would have been a lot less painful (and the pictures less cringe worthy).

I don't remember very much of the date itself, except being nervous and getting lost on the way home in the fog underneath I-10. I do remember that Kathryn stayed right next to me in my bucket seat even though she could have easily moved over once we dropped Chris and Mikey off. I kept my arm around her even though I was shifting gears about every 10 seconds. I remember thinking the date went well as I drove home that night.

We never got to a second date though.

I remember walking to a few classes with Kathryn and driving her home but I don't remember that much after that first date. Within a week or two of our first date Kathryn got mono and she had to stay home for 2-3 weeks away from school. She told me I didn't call her very often  which of course, I will respectfully deny. The next time I saw her (at a church function at my church - Kathryn attended because of Mikey) we somehow "broke up". I'm not real clear why this was done but I do remember the break up came via  Mikey. I remember being pissed off about it because we never really kissed but otherwise, I just moved on with my busy senior year.

I liked Kathryn but honestly I was a little relieved by the "break up". The whole time we were dating I felt a little embarrassed that I was dating a freshmen. It wasn't that Kathryn was immature or that I was beneath dating someone younger - I felt embarrassed by perceived peer pressure. Yes, that's right. Perceived peer pressure. No one made fun of me, no one said I shouldn't date Kathryn but I felt that people would think it was pathetic for a senior to date a freshmen (hmm...okay, maybe objectively it was but that's another point). It took me a long time to learn that other people's opinions are a terrible gauge of who you should like. If you like someone for who they are then don't worry about what other people think.

This "embarrassment" of dating lower classmen girls didn't stop me from dating a sophomore a few weeks later but ya know, an age difference of one year matters in high school.

Later in the year, we both tried out for the school musical, The Music Man. We even read lines together and had a lot of fun. Neither of us got the supporting roles we read for but we landed minor roles. I was one of the "Train Salesmen", part of the main chorus and a dancer while Kathryn was also in the main chorus and a dancer.  As fate would have it, we even ended up being paired as dance partners!  I think both of us toyed with the idea of getting back together but then I started flirting with another cast member that put an end to that.

The summer came and by then we had both moved on to different interests.  At the time I didn't think much about our dating experiment. It seemed like we were a better fit to be friends anyway.  We were just too different. This brings me back to the idea of how life works out.  You see in this first part of our journey, this "false start" was the right start for us. It was perfect because, well, every story worth telling needs a bit of drama and it gave us just enough, just a small glimpse of the other person.

That second date and first kiss would come but it would take almost seven long years to get there.  

Truck List

My first car was a 1986 Toyota Pickup. It was a tough little truck and fun to drive. I created a lot of memories in that truck.

Looked just like this. Funny how one can see so much personality in a plain white truck.

I drove the truck for six years (1994-2000) and before we gave it away to charity (it was un-driveable), I cleaned out the cab and discovered something quite like a time capsule. It seemed at the time I should write it down....so, here it is (with a few explanations).  Honestly, my current vehicle is usually pretty messy even to this day.



An amazing amount of ATM receipts and bank deposits slips

1 Gatorade bottle with water in it

1 Willy Wonka poster (torn and bent, I have no idea how I got this)

1 plastic cup from Sibisa (on campus cafereria at TAMU)

Numerous glass shards

1 AA battery

1 roll of clear tape

1 roll of duct tape

1 Arby's cup

1 Taco Bell cup

1 Mcdonald's cup

1 Plastic sports bottle

The Rentals -7 More Minutes CD packaging

1 - College Station, TX Ticket for Disorderly Conduct and the plea  (excessive noise from the one party we had at our apartment).

2 Umbrellas

1 metal rod

1 cable (for TV)

1 comb

1 yellow leaf air fresher

2 bottles of oil (the truck "drank" oil at a high rate, so I was always checking my oil gauge)

Disney "Magic Ball" candy package (from 1999 given to my girlfriend at the time)

1 ketchup packet

one of my dad's softball line-ups (he was the manger for many years of the unofficial church team)

2 Records (one was Disco Disney) both were badly warped from the excessive heat. I  had brought them  from home to play on our radio show but I forgot they were shoved in the back of the cab and so they got warped and unplayable.

5 Hang-Tags --1 from UTSA, 2 from Blinn, 2 from A&M

Numerous receipts from 1997-2000 (mainly from fast food joints) the oldest one from - Whataburger on  4/13/96 

1 mint

1 half eaten Trident gum pack