Sunday, July 25, 2010

Finding Nirvana: Part 1

There are some things you either get; or you don't.

Maybe Nirvana is just one of those "you had to be there" generation-type things. On paper they don't seem like much more than a glorified, over-rated punk band. I understand that point of view and even admit on a purely aesthetic level, it's got some truth behind it.

On the other hand, St. Kurt and the boys deserve all the praise they get. I still love them, and on occasion, I don my vintage 90's Nirvana t-shirts (much to the chagrin of my wife).

I am positive Kurt would be pissed off about 99% of what has happened to his estate, catalog, and most of all the business stuff related to his music (moral of the story: be careful who you marry).


I didn't always get Nirvana. I was a latecomer to the whole idea of having musical opinions that were my own. Early in childhood and well into college, I consciously (and at times subconsciously) adopted attitudes and opinions that were the opposite of what I considered to be "conformist" or "cool". As you might have guessed this philosophy in life was met with abject failure. Yeah, it's cold comfort to know that at least I was on the right track.

One of my earliest memories of music listening was when I was about 7 years old. I tuned into the "Classical Music" station and began to listen to it on daily basis. I remember deriving pleasure out of planning to become a nerd. I actually remember thinking this. I don't think the experiment was carried out for more than a week or two, as I remember getting bored pretty quickly.

In middle school, I pretty much followed the crowd, but wasn't a big music listener. I taped parts of "Nevermind" from a friend but also taped the entirety of "Please Hammer Don't Hurt 'Em". By my sophomore year in high school, I had turned to the dark side of music....(cue the dramatic, evil music)....country music. It's hard to believe it, but I received John Michael Montgomery's debut album for Christmas one year.

Remember those Taco Bell commercials? That was weird.

That same year (1993) I remember having numerous arguments with this kid in my sophomore English class about how Nirvana and grunge music was "negative" and stupid. I was a straight-laced, know-it-all dork in high school. Please don't be confused, I wasn't the type of nerd who embraces his/her inner nerd-dom. I was in denial of it. I had friends, but not that many. I wasn't socially awkward, but I wasn't invited to the cool parties. I collected comics but I would have never admitted to it. That same year, none of my friends had the same lunch hour, so after picking up a quick bite to eat, I would roam the halls at school rather than sit by myself. Remember, I was in denial of this so I told no one.

Moment of Silence for the sad, pathetic sophomore year.

Anyway, the point is, is that I didn't get Nirvana like I could have. I couldn't channel my inner rage because I was in denial that anything was wrong.

By my senior year (with a little peer pressure from my friends) I was opening up to rock music and become a devotee at the altar of the pop-punk deity of Green Day and later, Weezer. They served as my guiding lights out of the darkness (honorable mention goes to Stone Temple Pilots' excellent album Purple).

Only as I entered college was I was finally ready to embrace my inner-punk.

Go on to Part 2

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