Friday, November 7, 2014

Confucius Didn't Say That!

Confucius was a pretty wise dude. Just look up "Confucius Quotes" on Google. Go on, I DARE YA. 

You probably didn't, so let me go ahead and tell you that most of the quotes attributed to Confucius on the internet are fake.  Most egregiously, there are several "quotation pages" (did you see what I did there?)  are made up of 95% false quotes.




My first meme creation. I am a proud papa.


So, starting with this very post, it's time to shine some good old fashioned TRUTH on the situation. I am not a Sinologist or a Chinese expert, but I ain't no dummy either. It's time to, "strive to put right what once went wrong".  
Yeah, Quantum Leap is awesome, isn't it? 


First off,  let's address why would someone misattribute quotes to Confucius in the first place.
Americans (and the West in general) don't really know Confucius quotes because they don't know much about Confucius.
This happens with Buddha frequently as well and some lovely person has a website for it. If there were memes with Jesus' quotations with the same claptrap - it would be easily dismissed. Not only are many Americans familiar with many of the memorable Jesus quotations but many would know if a quote "sounded" like Jesus. Furthermore, many people would know where to find and verify if the purported message really was from Jesus. With Confucius, most people would have no idea where to verify the quote. So, they just give up because, ya know, Wikipedia takes too long.

We view ancient China through the lens of Orientalism.

China and "the East" has always been viewed as the exotic "other". Traditionally, China was never seen as a religious or military threat to the West, so, unlike the Middle East, it was viewed much more favorably. In particular, Chinese men were feminized and portrayed as subservient in popular art, while men of the Middle East were portrayed as bestial, violent and threatening.  Likewise, Confucius was never a competitor to Christianity like Mohammed was in Europe. Christian missionaries found much to like in Confucius' ethical code. It was the Jesuit priests that translated the Analects to Europe for the first time.

All this is to say, I believe the West views Confucius favorably. He serves as a convenient, exotic "other" that could possibly say some crap like "The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential... these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence."

Yeah, that quote is actually attributed to Confucius.

Finally, let's face it Americans are kinda dumb. 


Ok, enough with that nonsense, let's start this series (that will likely end with this one post) with a doozey.

"Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life. "  - Confucius


If Confucius didn't say it, where's it from?

Oh good, the internet did that for me.... here's the story.

Well, if Confucius didn't say it, could he have said something like it? 

No. Nope. No chance in Hades.

No one in the ancient world "chose" their job. What I mean by "no one" is 98.3% of people were farmers working the land for food. Most of those farmers were poor and/or peasants that didn't even own the land they worked.  I should note I made up the 98.3% percent for dramatic effect, but it was the definitely over 90%.

Even the few skilled workers and the even fewer elites in Confucius' time didn't "choose" their jobs. Of course the discussion so far wouldn't apply to females at all, as their "job" was also proscribed for them. Males would inherit their father's trade or position - it didn't matter if he "loved" it or found fulfillment in it.  If your happened to be in the minuscule middle or upper class, your were probably smart enough to realize how crappy life was for vast majority of people.

Beyond the fact that people didn't choose their jobs, the quote implies a sense of individualism that would be absent in ancient China.  Communities were viewed as made up of households rather than of individual people (this is paraphrase from Peter Nosco that I don't have handy). Society was interlinked and seen as a living organism, with each part of the community working in harmony with one another.  Think of the Confucian "Five Great Relationships":

1. Father - Eldest Son
2. Eldest Son- Younger Brother
3. Husband - Wife
4. Elders - Juniors
5. Rulers - Subjects

Your identity only made sense in relation to others and had nothing to do with your "work".  Western identity that is built on one's career has been a relatively new 20th century invention. Even in the West, traditionally, one's identity was built along gender, race, family and religion - not one's work or career. 

Finally, the idea that one would seek happiness through personal fulfillment would be alien to an ancient Chinese person. Personal happiness is not a goal or value found in Confucius' work. For Confucius, happiness is an outcome related to one's attitudes and actions but not a goal into of itself.

From 7:16:

The Master said: “I can live with coarse rice to eat, water for drink and my arm as a pillow and still be happy. Wealth and honors that one possesses in the midst of injustice are like floating clouds.”

From 13:16

Confucius said, “If you do it right, then those close to you will be happy, and those who are far away will come to you.”

What would Confucius say to replace this quote?

Well, I am happy to make something up on-demand:

"The Superior Man finds his happiness not in his own personal fulfillment but the fulfillment of his duties to others."

Ok, so it's not from Confucius but doesn't it just inspire you? 

No, it's bullshit.

Look, my job is awesome but it's still work. Every job has aspects that suck and that's okay.

Let's put it to the test and explore some of the typical "downsides" to particular jobs:

Teaching = Grading
Medical Field = Dead people (and Ebola)
NFL = Brain injuries
Computer People = Sitting on your butt ALL DAY
Chef = Critics
Strippers = Cheap Prevs

See, I just proved it.

If you are employed, some aspect(s) of your job will suck. You aren't going to "love" every day. This quote is an empty saying that tries to make you feel bad for not picking a different career. Screw you, I like my job and I am not under any impression that it's supposed to be joyous and amazing every day.

Sunday, November 2, 2014

10 Cool Things About Being an Adult


10. I don't get carded any more (I have a child-like face and I was carded until my early 30's)
9.  People expect me to know what I'm doing, even if I have no clue.
8.  I don't give two poops if people see me belting out songs in the car.
7.  I started to like foods I hated or had never tried before. 
6.  I gained compassion for my parents.
5.  I worry less about my looks (and other people's looks too).
4.  No one expects me to keep up with current music, movies, etc. unless it's labeled for "grown-    ups".
3.  I no longer have to pretend I have heard of something in a conversation  and then I get to learn something new!
2.  I don't drive as fast, I am okay with being cut-off, etc. in traffic. Who cares?
1.  I don't give a crap about what you think about me (even MORE than before).