Columbia House was a pain - I always wanted to cancel but I was too lazy to do it. I always meant to send in the little card that said, "I do NOT want this month's album" but often forgot (I can't complain too much as I discovered Elvis Costello as well). One of those forgotten months included the Nirvana Unplugged album. I liked it but wasn't overly impressed. Slowly but surely, it weaseled its way into my rotation. It really took it's place in the pantheon when I was having my wisdom teeth pulled my sophomore year in college. My dentist suggested that I bring headphones, so I brought Unplugged with me, envisioning the flowers and candles from the performance. Let's just say it hurt later on, but it was a trip. I must say the album and I bonded over the experience.
It's weird thinking this performance may be their best overall album. Unlike other Nirvana albums you can just pop this baby in at any time of year or personal mood, and it's just fine. In terms of introducing a non-Nirvana fan, it's the best one. They are in fine form and it sounds like they are having fun. It's also the best album to listen to if you're getting your wisdom teeth pulled, too.
At that point I had two Nirvana albums - Nevermind and Unplugged. This was a standard requirement for any rock fan in the 90's. However, I would soon find myself obsessed with the entire Nirvana catalog.
At first, I fell in love with Cobain's hooks. Nevermind has them all over the place and it's polished sound was just enough for me to open up to real punk music. The album is melodic and at times, even pretty. Nevermind certainly has the most "singing" than any other Nirvana album. I loved the melodies on In Bloom, On a Plain, and Something in the Way. Given the material that went unrecorded (Old Age, Verse Chorus Verse and Sappy) I can envision an album even better along those standards. The production is a little over the top for me today (too glossy/shiny) but like I said, I needed that at the time and ultimately, the production still works for what the album is. Finally, I loved the thick, layered guitars (and at times vocals) - the album has a nice vibe or feeling the whole album through.
But it was more than the production or hooks from Nevermind that got me to fall in love with Nirvana. I also started to view the world with little more cynicism than before. I was starting to question my fundamental assumptions about the way things worked. Additionally, I was alienated with the social scene at UTSA - it was a like a replay of high school but now I wasn't trying to fit in - I just despised it all. I wasn't quite as misanthropic as Cobain was but I felt a genuine malaise and mistrust about the world.
I've heard sub-par live Nirvana performances, but the dude put his heart in most of the time.
It might sound odd (to those who know me) but Kurt and I had lots of things in common. He liked poetry, drew in his journal and hated jocks. He liked abstract art and wrote abstract, post-modern lyrics. He was sensitive, angry and impulsive - a romantic in the classical sense. These were traits and characteristics I admired. I could channel that inner-punk now that I understood the world was a pretty messed up place. I could scream along with Kurt in the car and it could make me feel just a little bit better.
Poppies, broken dolls and aliens...yup, it's a Cobain.
In quick succession I had picked up In Utreo, Incesticide and Bleach (in that order, mind you). I read Come As You Are: The Story of Nirvana (still required reading for any Nirvana fan). I scoured independent music stores for Nirvana bootlegs featuring rare live stuff and unheard demos. I was a poor college student plucking down 30 bucks for Nirvana bootlegs. In a matter of months I was a walking Nirvana encyclopedia.
Nirvana had an authentic sincerity that seared itself into my art ethos. I didn't jump onto the punk bandwagon (always was a melodic junkie) but the Nirvana attitude informed my opinion about the music and art scene. One of the reasons Kurt was so down on himself was that he didn't think he was living up to his ideals or living up to what an "artist" should be accomplishing at his age (both of his assumptions were flat out wrong).
Nirvana and Kurt spoke to me like no other band. Like most people, I've mellowed with age. For awhile, I just flat out stopping listening to the music. However, in the past few months I started listening to the Nirvana catalog again (stemming from jamming out to a Weezer concert on YouTube, in which they just covered Bleach-era Nirvana songs in a 1998 concert). I have a new found love for the band, like finding an old comfortable, forgotten t-shirt under your bed. I still can embrace the emotion and power behind it all. I still love the abstract and obtuse lyrics. I love the sound of In Utreo - the weirdness of Incesticide, the catchy Nevermind. Damn, I love this band.
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