You can get in a rhythm and you end up in a re-run of habits, hobbies, and activities. Lately, I have been finding myself just watching YouTube on my bed until I was exhausted enough to stop fighting sleep. The old days of my prodigious reading habits faded into an inconsistent bedtime routine. After I finished taking graduate classes in the fall of 2020, my reading fell to almost non-existent. I read a bit but I have struggled to get motivated to read anything in particular. Sure, I would read a few comic books and I did manage to finish an actual book or two but I just wasn't feeling it.
For the last few years, my creative energy was geared towards writing but art has always been in the background, waiting for me, ever so patiently to come back home. Of course, I have done a few birthday posters for the kids but nothing on my own for years beyond some fun doodling with watercolor markers. With the encouragement of a friend, I started painting again last week. As I painted I realized how much I missed it and how much fun I had been missing out on. I also had forgotten what a gift there is in embracing chance events.
The above photo was my first effort and I have to admit, I like it.
April, acrylic & paper - April 2022
I had started fiddling with my watercolor paint pens, drawing branches or roots (a common motif of mine) but it just felt drab and boring. Then I changed my plan and began to paint in an abstract style. Pushing and stretching the paint with my little paint tool. I purposely didn't put much thought into it. I let my mind and tool unconsciously find their way together, weaving this way, then the other. I selected bright, primary colors (as those make me feel warm and fuzzy). I added countless layers of paint to give the piece texture and needed depth. Finally, on the second to last layer, I tore out random bits of paper from old books to add a bit more depth and otherworldliness to the piece.
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A few days later I decided to paint again. This time, I painted two pieces at once but only one is good enough to share. The more "experimental" piece (well, trash piece) is kinda a hot mess bordering on disaster overload.
However, the "good" piece was a much more successful experiment. I started by building an acrylic base of texture but I also integrated a little bit of the pour technique that's so popular on YouTube with more overt use of collage. Thankfully over the years of art-making, I have collected old books, comic books, and other ephemera like some of my dad's old college papers. I also have a random assortment of things already cut out that weren't used at the time or just plain forgotten about.
I had brought in a huge stack of random stuff and just started grabbing whatever my grubby little hands could find, by chance. I would grab a page, tear it out and drop it anywhere on the canvas or impulsively find a place for it and go with my gut instinct. I tried to keep in sync with my primal, spontaneous mind so it could find connections and patterns that my conscious mind could never find on its own. I even managed to escape my over-analyzing, over-thinking consciousness for a while and that's always a nice vacation too.
After about a half-hour I stopped. I didn't like what I was seeing so I decided to come back to later that evening. When I returned to the piece I added a bit more but still....something was off but I didn't know what. However, it was getting late, so I started putting my art supplies away and cleaning up. As I picked up my huge stack of old books, notebooks, and junk, a perfectly cut-out photo of a baby ostrich fell out of the stack and onto the floor. I instantly picked it up and plopped it right on the wet green blob in the center of the canvas and I and went back to cleaning up.
After I finished cleaning up, I looked down at the piece and it seemed the baby ostrich made me look at the piece in a whole different light. It now seemed complete and confident. It gave the viewer's eyes a shared starting place to the canvas. Also, baby birds are cute, so there's that too.
This random baby ostrich, falling from my stack of junk changed everything. I didn't like the painting before but I didn't know what it was missing. This small chance event changed everything. Now, I can't imagine this piece being any other way. How many random events have happened like this to you and now you can't imagine your life any other way? Some of my most favorite people, events and ideas stem from the extraordinary origin of chance.
Missed An Issue???, acrylic and paper, April 2022.
I had forgotten the wisdom of creating art. Of course, it's fun and it's an escape for the soul but more importantly, there are lessons to be had if we open to the opportunities presented by the beauty of chance events.
