Time Travel Blues (poem)

I have written on and off for the past few years and yet when I review my document, I have barely kept anything from the last 5 months. Lately, I have felt creatively bankrupt. I have started writing blog posts only to give up in disgust or boredom. 

When I review my old poems from the last two years, I can see themes that come in waves, sometimes subconsciously. There was a motif of pirates on the high seas (often ending in disasters or being eaten by sharks), clouds, dreams and stars. But I have also have a theme of wrestling with the past. Of course there are heavy doses of nostalgia but more importantly, themes of the futility of living by the past, in the past, or the folly of living the answers of our past history. Anyway, here's one that I don't hate. 

Time Travel Blues 

You tell me you can travel back in time.

I'm telling you you might get yellow fever and die.

You're fumbling around in a dusty library

that never used the Dewey decimal system.

I’m sorry I can’t join you on your mission to the past.

You're traveling but your die is already cast.

Stop wondering about the history that never came about 

And start thinking about your future scars.

It's the Summer of 2020 and it Sucks Fragments.

I don't have many words to say about the murder of George Floyd that hasn't' said before but I'll start and end with:

Black Lives Matter

and 

Defund the Police.

Also, we're living in a pandemic, that sucks. I am convinced Donald Trump's leadership has cost the US tens of thousands of lives. What a disaster. I am predicting at least 200,000 dead by the end of the fall and depending on developments/treatments/a vaccine possibly 250,000 by the end of the winter. I might be low-balling it too and this would not include the tens of thousands that we will likely never count in the official numbers. I still feel like we hit an alternate universe in 2016. Sigh.....well on that uplifting note:

Here's some fragments on life: 

I am back in grad school for promotion purposes. I had an opportunity to write about Carl Barks in a big long paper and I have learned a hard lesson. By taking something you love and turning it into a research paper can drain some of the fun of it away.  I still think it's fun but ya know, there was one night that I didn't want to read a Barks' story that I had never read before....that was weird. I am quite proud of my work but I don't want to reveal too much here (also I may get feedback that it sucks and then, never mind, I won't be proud of it anymore). 

I don't even want to take another grad class right away but given my schedule, I will start another in August, with one week off. Blah. 

My wife gave me a haircut. It was fun. Overall, given her inexperience, I have to give her an A for effort and C for the job. I'm wearing caps a lot when I go out. :) 

I watched the Watchmen HBO series...was really great but I wasn't crazy about the ending. (SPOILER ALERT). I really wanted her to just throw the egg in the woods. 

Also watched The Orville.....and not too shabby. I went in with low expectations. I would recommend if you know it's a homage to TNG and you know it's going to be just "okay"....you'll like it. It's not groundbreaking but I would be lying if I didn't laugh a few times and I am looking forward to the next season (apparently, they had to stop filming but they are done with at least seven episodes...maybe they can release what they have in the fall??).

One of my best friends might be moving out of state. I am really bummed and now I realize even though we were both busy raising families, doing life, we never spent as much time together as we should have. I am having major regrets as I figured they would live here for the long haul. That's life for ya....you don't appreciate people or opportunities until they're gone. 

Kids responded as well as kids could respond to the pandemic/school at home. It's been tough and yet, we're survived in large part due to the efforts of my lovely wife. 

I hate Zoom. 

My birthday is coming up, yipee, According to my calculations, I will be 43. I still feel like a young 36. I am not sure I am all wiser than I used to be. I am still fumbling, bumbling my way through life with usually a smile and a sarcastic remark. My goal this year is to be kinder, more forgiving, less prone to yell at the kids and more thoughtful. Lofty goals, I admit....time will tell if I can do it. 

I have been in contact with two people from work via texts/phone calls since the pandemic broke. Also, another one by email (occasionally) and everyone else just dropped off the planet. I kinda was hoping one friend would reach out (we exchanged emails in April, when I emailed her)...but now I am playing the whole, "it's your turn to contact me"...and finding out she probably doesn't care...lol.  Kinda a bummer but it is what it is. 

I am supposed to be grading papers or I could be working on my big paper due next week...and I just don't have it in me tonight. Sigh. 

That's it. Stay safe out there, kids. Wear your mask, wash your hands and after that don't forget to give your cat a good pet down once in a while.