How I Met Your Mother V: The Timing of Fleeting Feelings (2001)

There are times in life that you think you can "will" things to change.

You think you can love someone so much that they will have to love you back. That evening in late 2000 didn't change anything with Marie. I was told it was only a "fleeting feeling". Later I told Marie that, "everything in life is in the timing and we had everything but the timing". For whatever reason, that night just wasn't enough to change her mind. I was right about one thing though- timing was everything. I just didn't know how blessed I was in that department.

That winter and spring (2001) I was busy with substitute teaching and graduate school. The summer came but the magic and fun of 2000 couldn't be re-created. Philip now had a steady girlfriend in Doris and we only went to Midnight Rodeo about 5-6 times the entire summer (and with a notably smaller crew). However the summer of 2001 was different. I started gaining confidence in asking other women to dance at Midnight Rodeo. I dated a couple of girls that summer and even though neither worked out; they only emboldened me to do things I never dreamed about doing before. I even asked for the number of a checker at Barnes & Noble (I did score the number but after one odd phone conversation it seemed well enough to leave it at just that). I remained hopeful that I would find love - maybe it was just around the corner.

If the Marie Saga seemed to have come to inglorious end, your mother's own drama was just heating up. Her boyfriend Rick was back in Baton Rouge but JJ was here in San Antonio. Kathryn and JJ saw each other a few times as friends but it became clear that he wanted her back. Kathryn was having doubts - maybe JJ really was the guy for her?

In July, Rick came into town for Kathryn's birthday. JJ asked me if he thought he should send flowers to Kathryn's house for her birthday. I didn't think that much of it really, so I said "sure". Rick had already had issues with Kathryn's friendship and contact with JJ. When the flowers were delivered, Rick was furious. He blew up at Kathryn and said she should have given the flowers back to the delivery man. He was losing his cool and from my vantage point, this made JJ look even better.

I found myself in a conundrum. I was Kathryn's friend but I was also loyal to JJ. I wasn't real impressed with what I was hearing about Rick but I didn't want to trash the guy either. Of course most boyfriends aren't thrilled when an ex-boyfriend is sending flowers. He had every right to feel defensive. When I spoke to your mother I parsed my words carefully when the topic of Rick or JJ came up (which was often). Deep down, I really wanted to see Kathryn get back together with JJ. After all, I might not have gotten my girl back but I could work the case for my friend.

The year before it had felt like Kathryn was my confidant. This year our roles had reversed. We trusted each other enough to share each other's deepest fears and concerns. Besides all the serious stuff, we just liked hanging out together. Somehow on my birthday I found myself alone (no, seriously I don't know how this happened).  I was watching TV in my room when Kathryn called to see what I was doing for my birthday. I told her I was just watching TV but it was clear that this was going to be unacceptable. Within minutes she picked me up and took me to dinner at Chili's. You see I loved your mother before we ever kissed. I loved her as friends do.

Kathryn and I visited Eric one night when he came into town to visit his parents. The seasonal and holiday get-together's at the Schmidt house were becoming few and far between as more and more of the crew found themselves moved away, married or otherwise preoccupied with life. I don't remember the exact circumstances but we found ourselves talking on the tailgate of my truck under the stars in front of the Schmidt's house. We were talking about Rick and JJ again when Kathryn started to cry. I ached for her as I helped dry her tears. That moment has always stayed with me.

Kathryn only had a few days before she was going back to Baton Rouge. It was the last real weekend of the summer and we found ourselves going to Leon Springs Dance Hall with Danny and Jenny. We had a great time and danced all night. We knew each other's gait and every move; we really were dance partners. It was a little odd because this night felt like a double-date, as Danny and Jenny were already romantically involved. As much as I was trying to deny it, I liked the way it felt. It was getting late and as the hall was clearing out - we all started for the door. I don't remember whose idea it was but we decided for one last dance of the summer. 

The dance floor was practically cleared as we began to dance to a slow song. We danced underneath the always on Christmas lights and as we did;  it seemed something was different. The slow dance had brought out something in both of us; a tension that had never quite been there before. I had tried to deny this feeling because Kathryn was already confused between two guys. Besides, I was JJ's friend - this just couldn't happen.

There are moments in life that make you feel almost electric almost more alive than usual. For me, this was one of those special moments. Much later, I came to find out that it was during this dance, for the very first time your mother thought of me as possibly "more than friend". She told me it was only a "fleeting feeling" but we already know how important those can be.  That last dance of the summer was the real start to how your mother and I fell in love.