How I Met Your Mother Part IV : Two Steps Forward, One Step Back (1999-2000)

My last year in college (1999-2000) proved to be a lonely one. All my close friends graduated in the fall and I couldn't find a roommate in the spring. I learned what real solitude was and I found out it isn't all that bad (at least in small doses). I was discovering myself by exploring the arts - I turned my roommate's room into my art exhibition hall of my paintings (mainly badly done abstract art). I also was turned on to great music (The Beach Boys, Bach, Nirvana, etc.), watched a lot of Woody Allen movies and wrote love-sick poetry.  Sometime late that fall I found out Marie had a boyfriend at LSU. In some ways I reveled in the heartbreak, channeling my loss into the art I was creating.

Summer was approaching and Marie let me know she would be spending the summer in Dallas with her sister. I was bummed but a little bit relieved. Marie's parents lived two streets down from our house so I was always running into her. When she was in town, I found that even driving by her street I was tempted to give her a call. I told myself I was ready for a new start in life (even if I didn't totally believe myself).


Quick Note: Did your dad ever date other people besides your mother and Marie? The answer is yes but let's just let those stories be forgotten.  


In May I graduated and moved back home to go to graduate school in San Antonio. My friend from A&M Jeff had moved back to San Antonio in the fall and he suggested we go to Midnight Rodeo on it's Wednesday's "College Night". I wasn’t thrilled with the prospect of going to a country dance bar but I had to admit the club was absolutely huge and this meant there would be tons of cute girls. Jeff brought his friend Toby and I brought my friend Philip to the club. We were there early and hung out along the sides of the large, circular dance floor. Sure there were "normal" people like us, but at least a third of the men were wearing cowboy hats. This just wasn't my style....but it just so happened that one of those "cute girls" at the dance hall that night was your mother.

Kathryn was there with Christina and Jenny (yes, both from the choir crew and you all know Jenny today). We introduced everyone and we had a great time that night. This pairing worked for both groups; the guys had cute dance partners and looked cool hanging out with girls (think of it this way, if we are already hanging out with cute girls, then the other women must think these girls were on to something). Meanwhile, the girls got non-aggressive, semi-normal dance partners and the protection from creepy guys by hanging out with us. In fact, we had so much fun we made it our weekly get together every Wednesday.

I hadn't planned on dancing at the club that night as I didn't exactly know how to two-step (the standard country dance). Kathryn was patient enough to teach me that first night how to dance the two-step. She was gentle and encouraging with my clumsy effort. I loved dancing with all of the girls in our group but Kathryn soon became my "dance partner" out of the group. She gave me advice and encouraged me to ask other women to dance.

This was when Kathryn really became a true confidant to me. We were finally becoming real friends and not "friends in passing". She knew my past and she was finding out even more about me from Jeff and Philip. Sure I was attracted to her but I had already ceded her to JJ in my head.  I didn't know all the details but I knew they had feelings for each other and whatever they had was...well...complicated.  Besides, JJ was my friend and I didn't want to step on my friend's toes, even if I was dancing with his girl.

Within a few weeks my friend Jeff asked for Kathryn's number from me. I thought about it, "Why would you need her number...Ooooooh, I see..." He was going to ask her out. I was in shock but played it off as best I could. There was no doubt about it, I felt a little weird about the whole thing. It seemed like she danced with me more than anyone else, I mean wasn't it clear that we were the ones with the connection?

Jeff and Kathryn dated for the last two months or so of the summer. It wasn't anything serious (they both said as much) but I was still silently jealous. What could I do?  One weekend in July I even managed to go on a double-date with Jeff and Kathryn with friend of Kathryn's, Heather. We had a good time but Heather and I weren't a good match.   

Those Wednesday nights were a blast. Youth is a wonderful thing and we celebrated being young that summer (maybe even a little too much). There was dancing, hi-jinks, late nights that spilled into the early morning, more dancing, late night tacos, and lots of laughs. But it all had to end eventually. In August, Kathryn and the girls headed back to their respective schools, Jeff moved to Tennessee and Philip got his first "real" job out of college. It just wasn't the same. The rest of us (myself, Toby and Philip) even stopped going out on Wednesday nights all together.

Meanwhile at LSU, Kathryn started dating a guy named Rick. She seemed to be happy at first, so I was happy for her. I got Marie updates from Kathryn (remember, they were roommates) and I gave Kathryn updates to JJ here in SA. It was a little dysfunctional informational pipeline. That fall it became clear to JJ that he missed Kathryn and he wanted her back. He and I were in the same boat, as Marie was still dating her boyfriend, Clinton. It's true that misery loves company but we were becoming really good friends outside drying each other's tears. JJ and I would often meet up at Sonic for drinks and have long conversations about love, women, sports, pop culture, and life in general. In the fall 2000, I became convinced JJ was the right man for your mother.

Sometime in the fall Marie came back into town. We even went out to dinner which felt weird as she had a boyfriend. I didn't mind at all though, after all, we were just "friends". We had been keeping in sporadic communication that fall, but I was playing the long game.  This meant being patient and not making any rash decisions. I was going to try to play it cool and be the friend even though I was a mess underneath it all. You might wonder if I had any intentions of being her friend and the honest answer was no. I wasn't going to aggressively flirt with her but my goal was to show her that we still had something between us. 

My first semester of full-time graduate school was tough but still a success. Christmas was on its way and that meant everyone was coming back into town. It seemed like momentum was building towards the Christmas party for both JJ and I. Kathryn had been hosting Christmas parties at her house since 1996 - and most everyone from our old gang would be there. The Christmas parties were always so fun and this year was no exception.

As the party was winding down, many of us wanted to go to Midnight Rodeo to dance. Your mother stayed at the party with JJ while a contingent from the party (along with Marie and I) went to Midnight Rodeo.  I don't remember a lot about Midnight Rodeo but I was putting the skills your mother taught me to task. Marie and I danced for much of the time and this time everything felt right (although maybe that was just the beer). She drove me home and I found out the truth in the cliche -"breaking up is hard to do".  We embraced and kissed. This was the moment I had been waiting for. It vindicated all my heartbreak and feelings I had for Marie. It was true, we were meant to be after all.