I just have to admit it, I am not good at this.
I started off by missing my morning prayer on day four. It's been such a long and eventful two days, that I've even forgotten how that happened. I prayed at work my Dhuhr prayer (around 1:35) and was stung by ants crawling on the floor (the fiends!). I got home right at 5:00 and purposely did not pray because it was 5:00 and my daughters wanted to play and I had to prepare dinner and get them in bed by myself. I was back at for the last two prayers of the day.
Today, I AGAIN missed the morning prayer. This time the cat woke me up at 4:10 - I had to throw her in the garage and I thought, "just as I fall asleep my alarm is going to go off; what am I doing anyway?; I'm not really Muslim...I can make the prayer up at work". Just like that I shut off the alarm...
To my credit, I didn't fall asleep until after 4:40 (yeah, I keep track of stuff like that) and I did do my morning prayer at work. Even still, it felt like I was cheating.
I missed the afternoon prayer this time because I was CRAZY busy helping with registration. I felt guilty leaving my post...that's the simple truth. I should have but this time I thought, "It's not like I have any readers anyway". Um-huh, my internal voice actually said that. But I avoided the pepperoni pizza (boy, was I tempted - absentmindedly, I even had placed it on my plate...but replaced it with a dried up cheese slice).
But I haven't missed a prayer since (the house was briefly empty when I got home) I have to pray again shortly, but plan on doing so.
Look, maybe it's a little presumptuous but today I came up with a much better schedule for prayer (forgive me Allah)
Morning: Whenever you wake up
Mid-Morning: 10:25 (if you wake up after this point, you can make it up later in the day)
Afternoon: 2:25
((Mid-Afternoon Make-up (only if you missed the mid-morning prayer due to a late start): 3:45))
Early Evening: 7:25
Night: Before you go to bed
I like it because it would be spaced out a bit more and it would provide you time to pray at work, when you need it (at least when I need it most!).
Anyway, I'm not changing the game mid-stream just trying to think about what I would have set-up if it was all up to me.
Serious Reflection Time: So, what impact has prayer had on me so far?
It's hard to measure, although I have definitely prayed more than I ever have in my life. At least three times during the day I am making personal prayers to God. I have been focusing on our upcoming adoption and our child's birth mother - but also on our upcoming service project I am organizing.
It's made me even more appreciative than I already was....just reciting, "and my cup overflows" a few times a day is awesome. Reciting really does help you start to believe what you're saying. I thought the prayer might get remote or ritual-like but it has surprisingly stayed fresh. I really try to "feel" what I'm saying.
Never a big fan of even hinting at the "health and wealth" gospel - but I can truly say that this week has led me to realize that I believe "surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life".
Interlude from Joel Osteen: "Ya know it might not have worked for you, but it did for me...check out all this cool, expenisive leopard print stuff.
On the surface it sounds pompous or even arrogant but when I reflect on it; I find it to be true. In a literal sense, I will be a father of three children, I'm married to a wonderful wife and have a wonderful family (in-laws included). Furthermore, I've got some great friends, our church family is great and I love my job. I believe that even when these variables change....I will still be surrounded by love. Furthermore, I will always be journeying with God for the rest of my life. God's love will suffice through all the good and all the hard times to come. In the coming days I write up a little more commentary on these verses I've been reciting....I never thought just simply repeating words would do so much.
No comments:
Post a Comment