Monday, June 14, 2010

Guilt and Loathing in The Lost Weekend As a Muslim

The whirlwind of days 3-6 are just about over (two hours and counting) and my "Muslim" faith didn't survive.

I have a truckload of excuses. We were getting ready for our massive garage sale fundraiser all day and all-night Friday (and believe me the work required was massive). I was literally doing something all day Friday-Sunday. There were no breaks and I managed 4 hours sleep on Friday.

I could chalk it up to bad timing....but really, the truth is, I've failed.

weird, huh? that's kinda how i felt though.

I haven't had one prayer since early Thursday evening or early Friday (I can't even remember it feels like years ago). When I wasn't busy - I could start to feel the guilt setting in. I've heard of Catholic guilt but I gotta say, Muslim guilt could be pretty bad. I could Google it, but I'm too tired. If I had readers, maybe they could look it up for me.

SERIOUS SIDENOTE: how do these bloggers do it?  I mean seriously?!!??

Saturday was the crescendo of it all. I was physically beat and I actually felt almost all of my near 33 years (on a daily level I feel between 27-29 and a half years).

I feel asleep on the couch reading right after I tucked our oldest in at about 9:00. I knew I wasn't waking up at 4:50 in the morning. I was already been deflated and defeated.

Sunday came and church and lawn work followed (as we were having people over and the back yard looked like a jungle)....anyway, today I went to work and faced the first day of registration on my feet for most of day.

I just keep thinking, "I can't believe I gave up on all this after TWO measly days". two - days and I was toast.

So, I am restarting this experiment tomorrow morning. It was definitely a rough patch. I could give up and call it a day...after all, this is a "fragment" blog. So, I am restarting day three tomorrow and submitted all over again (takes a deep breath).

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