I was walking into our bathroom when I noticed our Consumer Reports magazine upside-down - I was more than a little surprised when I read an article entitled "8 Ways to Land a Great Afterlife". Of course, it actually read, "8 Ways to Land a Great Airfare". Sure it was upside-down, but I think my mind's eye saw this mainly because I watched the Lost finale last night. That and the fact that I am obsessed with death in general.
Interestingly enough, it's eight tips of achieving a cheap airfare also might also be read as tips to achieving a great afterlife as well.
1. Be Flexible About Dates
The trick about dying is that you don't know when it's going to happen. You might only live once, but don't stress with existential angst over it - you'll waste precious time worrying when you should be living.
2. Consider Other Airports
If Airfare is the stand in for the afterlife, then surely the airlines represents the different world belief systems (meaning the atheists refuse to fly?). Then this must mean the airports are way stations - death itself before the airline takes us away. Maybe this means to consider our own mortality - we're going to die - so contemplate it and be ready.
3. Check the airline's site
Airline Site = Sacred Scripture. If you need more information, check out the scripture that your belief system is based on. Read up on all the details, offers and rules and regulations.
4. Mix and Match
If you can't find the right fit - by golly, mix and match. Most people do it anyway, they just don't admit it. Create your own theology by borrowing or weaving other meta-narratives into your own!
5. Know when to Buy
Timing is everything. When it's your time - don't fight it - let go and recognize the season of life is over.
6. Consider Multiple Carriers
Surely a Universalist wrote this article.
7. Waive Change Fees?
I got nothing. Hey, every analogy breaks down at some point.
8. Think About Bidding
Take a leap of faith, no matter how blindly - Kierkegaard would totally use Expedia.
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