I wrote this for my nephews a few years ago. I intend on publishing it someday, so it's copyrighted already. If you want to illustrate it, let me know. It's a bit juvenile so, deal with it. Oh yeah, have a Merry Christmas.
Santa’s Bad Night
One snowy Christmas Eve, many years in the past,
Santa had a major problem, known as large-scale gas!
It started in Europe in Sweden, I think.
It smelled like rotting eggs, oh such a stink!
Over the Middle East, Santa couldn’t stop the toots!
They continued, unabated, even over Beirut!
The reindeer complained as they flew over China
He even had stop somewhere to use the restroom in a filthy old
diner.
The toys were delivered, Santa wouldn’t let up
But neither did the bubblers, even after the dump!
Then, it happened again in the city of Kalamazoo.
Santa couldn’t help it, once again, he had to go poo!
It hit him all at once in the house of the Cardoo’s,
Santa quickly and quietly snuck past the kid’s bedrooms….
Then suddenly he let out a surprise salute!
It was so loud it woke up the Cardoos!
The children saw Santa and started to give him a hug
but then they smelled Santa and they began to run!
Santa was discovered this one and only time…
And he made Mrs. Claus promise to never again make Christmas
bean pie!
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