Just Being

A few weeks ago when the rest of my family was out of town on a Sunday, I went for a walk instead of church.

This made me happy because nature makes me feel more spiritual than going to church.

I can't exactly place my finger on why walking outdoors feels more comfortable or "spiritual" than going to church. It might be because I'm really a introvert who forced myself to be an extrovert. Maybe it's because when I'm walking I'm more interested in just being and experiencing rather than trying to rebut the sermon I'm listening to.

Life seems to make more sense outdoors. In the world I'm surrounded by doubt, drama at work, disappointment, and always searching for answers. Most of the time all my thinking just leads to more questions or unsatisfying answers. I don't mean to say my life is horrible - it's just that life out in the world often amounts to unsatisfying conclusions.

When I am in nature - it - no, I am different.


I'm more at peace with life, I'm more calm and relaxed. Even walking towards no destination I seem more purposeful.

Anyway, back to the walk I was talking about....after walking for about thirty minutes I sat down to pray and attempt to meditate. I was reminded by the wisdom of Daoism which sees nature not for what can be done with it, but seeks to emulate it in its very being. Nature doesn't seek answers. It doesn't worry or have any drama. It just is.

"Nature is not kind - It treats all impartially" - Dao De Jing

Sitting there I realized that everything of the world; the rat race, my doubts about God and myself seem so absurd and petty. Our answers are all right here in front of us. When I pray outside I feel closer to creation and my creator. I feel assurance - that there is a purpose for it all. Being busy and constantly doing things creates separation from the natural world or natural way of living.

As I sat down I first watched as a light wind came upon the trees around me like waves in the ocean. It was so quiet, I only heard the leaves rustling above and around me. No planes were overhead and the wind masked the far off highway as well. This solitary moment felt right. I meditated for a short while (honest disclosure: when I meditate, its only for a few seconds at a time). I then prayed for a long time for the first time in a long while.

I continued walking, moving wherever it struck my fancy. I prayed three separate times on that walk. Each prayer was for a long period of time followed by just walking and very little thinking. I wasn't so much asking for things in these prayers as I was just talking and expressing my hopes, concerns and dreams. Some might say I was talking to myself, and maybe that's what part of prayer is. The point is this experience away from church put me in tune with the divine more than church ever does. It was the salve for a tired-churched out guy.