Fragments of College - 8 Things that Happened

8. I was ticketed for noise pollution during our one official, cliché college keg party that my roommate and I hosted.  I had mistakenly forgotten that I had taken Benadryl before I had started drinking and lemme tell ya, that's a big mistake. Needless to say, people started turning the music up and I was passing out in the living room. My roommate drunk dialed his ex and he left to go get his hook up. The next thing I know I look up and a police officer is in my apartment. Luckily a friend walked me out and held me up as I received my ticket.  As  I walked back into my apartment, I held the ticket aloft and said, "We got a ticket!" and promptly fell flat on my face and passed out. 

7. I stole a cardboard, life-size Worf from Jack in a Box.

Yes, this Worf.

6. I covered a neighbor's car with almost every food item in the fridge and cupboard one night in a frenzied giggle-fest with my roommate. Yes, we were drinking, and yes, he kinda deserved it. I totally felt guilty the next day.


5. I felt as if destiny was calling and I transferred to another university after two years (it turns out I just had eaten too much fried food).

4. I created my own short-film series, "The Wonderous Adventures of Blueguy" that became big events for my circle of friends (there were a total of 10 episodes). It was an ironic homage and love letter to Saturday morning cartoons - all starring toys. Some of my most beloved characters were "The Other Guy" and "Ketchup Monster".

3. I hosted a show with my friend on the our college radio station.

2. I had an idea to start a fake student club so I  could be a "president and founder" I had vague ideas about the "cover" for the club, so I went on down to the student life/activities department (or whatever it was called) to ask about filling out an application. However, I was overheard talking with the clerk or whoever it was by a board of trustee member (??) who pulled me into a board meeting (bunches of old white men) and declared what a great idea I had in front of the board. Needless to say, my cover was busted and I never showed up to our scheduled meeting. I regret this, when caught this badly, I should have doubled down.

1.  I ran for Student Body President as a protest candidate (I didn't win). I lost to an eventual US Congressman, but I still feel I had a better slogan, "The Under $20 dollar Campaign" (I was hugely into campaign finance at the time).